How do you handle anger?
By Jess
@JJ4Ever (4693)
United States
April 8, 2010 9:33pm CST
Do you become angry easily? Do you find that you are angry a lot or does it happen rarely? How do you handle your anger? Do you know where it comes from and what triggers it? I'm a pretty easygoing person, so it normally takes a lot for me to get angry. Since it takes a lot for me to get stirred up, likewise, it takes a little time for me to cool off. For instance, if I have a disagreement with someone, I'll remember it for a while afterwards, and each time I think about it I'll get mad all over again. This is probably not the best approach! What do you do when you think about something that makes you angry? I have to make a point to drop the subject from my mind so I will stop being angry over it. I'm a very forgiving person as well, so I try to drop it completely, especially at those times when the person comes to me to apologize. It's not fair to them if I keep thinking about what they did to upset me. So I would like to know how you deal with your anger and these situations.
1 person likes this
20 responses
@yresh12 (3212)
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
Hello jj!
I really do get angry like. Talking and talking and sometimes hurt that person. I only do this if I know them well enough. The people who knows that I really get angry but I'm gonna be okay after. I'm the type who doesn't bear any grudges. I'm just impulsive and don't know what I'm saying when angry,..
For those who arent' or really haven't seen me angry. I'll really try to control my temper and do temper check because they may not understand how nasty I get.. Hahah
Sometimes I just can't and just blow up.
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@Devilova (5392)
• Indonesia
9 Apr 10
Never take with seriously for what other people said to me.I just think that they get jealous or hate to me, so that they can say like that.In my opinion, "Let the dog barking, as long as it's not biting me".
Try to become relax, so that everything will look great and normally.I try to not get angry, cause I know when I get angry.I can do some impossible thing to do, so I just take care of my self.
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@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
19 Aug 11
I think that is a great way to look at it. If you take things in life too seriously, then it's never any fun, and you don't learn to laugh at anything. I think that's a great key to handling anger, if you never let it come up in the first place. If you learn to laugh at situations, you're a very easy-going person, which is great!
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
19 Aug 11
That's really great. I don't think people view anger that way either, which is why it overtakes them. I'm guilty of it as well, though. It's almost like an addiction that grabs onto you, and you don't even know it's happening until you go off the deep end. Of course, that's probably more in extreme cases. You just don't want people to know you that way either. People who are always angry are the people we all try to avoid. I don't want to be that person!
@HelloMickey (1655)
• Hong Kong
10 Apr 10
I easily got angry when I was small and not very easily cool down. When I get older, I started to look at the issue from many different angles, it helps and I don't get angry at all.
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@cloud31 (5809)
•
9 Apr 10
Hello JJ,
I'm an easygoing person as you do,easy to smile for something and almost laugh every jokes,pleasant for everybody,but in the other hand I'm so much different when I'm getting angry of something and to someone.Last night I've been mad so badly that I even forgot whom Am I talking to, I never been rude so far but I'm so tough in my behavior and sarcastic of talking,I'm still quiet alright I think but in some way the madness can detect from my sarcastic behavior not knowing I hurt somebody in my actions and words for being straight forward and that was sometimes happened when I was hurt.But it won't take long for me to get back to normal and to forgive as well, I think Its normal character of human that will reached the end of his capacity to restrain resentment.
Good day JJ..
@pinhornudo (437)
• Brazil
9 Apr 10
No, I'm so pacific (ok, it depends so much of my humour or if how my day is going on). I try to focus and stay calm and do not let anger domains me. I have to say that I am a guy that have control of himself, I do not let anger come so easily, unless I'm in a bad mood and come a sob to kill my patience, I have to lose my control hahaha.
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@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
19 Aug 11
You definitely seem like a kind, non-emotional kind of person by your response. I think it's great that it takes a lot to get you angry because that means you have a lot of patience! I wish I had more of that, but I also don't want to go through what all it would take to gain more patience LOL! 
@DoctorDidi (7018)
• India
23 Aug 11
Personally I have no such problem. But I have seen a lot of people who become angry easily. They gain nothing from it but only become sick and unpopular to others for this rude behaviour. So you should always try to get rid of it. You may try meditation for the purpose.
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@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
19 Aug 11
I really like your outlook on anger. It's better just to remain at peace and let the reaction wear off. Don't give the other person or situation the satisfaction of getting a negative reaction out of you! I prefer to watch a movie, sleep, or do something else to occupy my mind and forget about it. Replacing the anger with something positive will work every time. Each time you invite thoughts that caused you to be angry back into your mind will cause all those old, negative feelings to come back, so like you said, it's must better to put those things from you mind altogether. Good for you!
@jasmeena (846)
• Indonesia
9 Apr 10
Depends. Actually, I am not a person who gets angry easily, but if something or someone makes me feel upset, I try not to respond it for a while to calm myself down. Or if someone says something bad about me, well, just ignore it, especially if he/she doesn`t understand what i am feeling.
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@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
19 Aug 11
If you ignore it, the other person won't get the satisfaction out of making you upset either. Sometimes people just do things for the reaction or to gain attention, which is why your reaction to it is the best. I agree with you that taking a deep breath and not showing emotion at all is a good way to handle it. Flying off the handle will only leave you with regrets and possible embarrassment. Thanks for your honest response!
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
I shout or talk to the person I'm angry at..Or not talk at all..
@vine88 (1031)
• India
9 Apr 10
Hi, jj for ever !
it's better to hide or we must know about anger. The knowing of anger is just stopping it. For this we must be little aware at the time when anger comes to us.
if you are angry, think at the same time...from where the anger comming, why anger coming..think is it necessary to be anger with him/her... think at that time..
if you become angry with that person then you will no longer different from that person..that person may be foolish..who is making you anger...and you wiill not to become the same foolish person..you are a good person so that know your anger...be aware....and you can finish the anger...
there are so many ideas,, given by people.. to manage anger...you can do any of then.. just like just open your finger and close your finder 10 times..it helps also...when we doing this , our minds concentrate in hands or finger...we forget about anger...another.. take a deep breath in and out.. it's also the same...
the best is to be aware..
good post.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
9 Apr 10
I agree with you that we need to figure out where the anger is coming from first so we can resolve the issue. If we don't know where our anger comes from, then we won't know how to handle it the next time we get angry. I like your solution to open and close your finger to cool down when anger sets in. That will work well!
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
9 Apr 10
Well, its common nature and i was patient man at younger days. But now i see am short temper at times. So i do meditation and when i am angry i go to my room. Just be silent without taking anythings to my mind. I always go and sleep and when i get up, i feel its silly for being anger and i feel that helped me manytimes.
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@wll521998 (109)
•
9 Apr 10
to be honest, am a very warm-heart person and very gentle. most of time i can control my mood. if am under of ctrol, the result will be really bad. the best way for me to handle my anger is that think of the result after your anger, when u image the badly result ,i thikn u will claim down, and breath ae well, try your best to let u dont mind.
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@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
9 Apr 10
That's the best way to handle anger - looking into the future and trying to determine the results. I think if everyone would do this, we would take being angry a lot more seriously because of how its effects can really hurt other people. I'm glad you do your best when you get angry to make it go away.
@umit_umit (1984)
• India
9 Apr 10
well anger is the common phenomenoeon of many emotional triggers!when the situation goes against you may be it is not but the way you are feeling it there and then you want to set it right at once!i think that you should be finishing the root cause of the problem!by not letting the circumstances be created!
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@Nikhil1418 (38)
• Qatar
9 Apr 10
i dont get angry easily....and if i get angry i..i show a smile on my face or i will c some funny vdos...its a nice way to keep cool.
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@replyashu (745)
• India
9 Apr 10
you must watch movie- anger management........
its by practicing to have loads of patience, then only you can manage your anger.....:)
enjoy
TATA
@iceydon (342)
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
i just count up to 300 and do some inhale and exhale routine. If i can have something near to drink I drink a lot of cold liquids.In the middle of arguments i just have my self stop talking. The more i talk the more the tendency to burst.
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
19 Aug 11
Is counting to 300 as long as it takes for you?!? LOL - I'm just kidding. That's a great way to handle your anger and get control of it before you do something you would regret. I think that's being very patient, something we could all use a little more of! Thanks for your response!!
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
When i'm angry with someone i let it out. That's how real anger management really is. I heard from a qualified professional that if you keep your anger within, it'll come out in unexpected ways That's why as much as possible, i let it out.
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@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
9 Apr 10
I think there are great results to letting anger out rather than holding it in, and I agree with you. Like anything else, if we try to keep it all in, eventually we will snap, and who knows what that will be like. If I hold in anger, I tend to get bitter over it when I could've just faced the problem and gotten it over with.
@mitchann (303)
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
Im not the type of person who easily gets angry. And if Im angry I dont shout wildly. Sometimes I just talk at louder volume.I talk it over with a friend or a colleague. After that, I shut myself to the person. BUt afterwards if Im ok already I talk to the person.
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@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
19 Aug 11
I think it's great that you don't easily get angry. Sometimes I wish I had a lot more patience than I do, but a lot of times it's an acquired thing...you know, "practice makes perfect..." It's great that you can keep a handle on things and then talk calmly with the person after everything is said and done. That is the most effective way to handle it.
@fansilawobuzhidao (47)
• China
9 Apr 10
Hello,my friend.I am an easygoing person,but usually i am also angry for something or someone.Before when i was angry ,i would not say a word to others or lose my temper.But now ,i can controll my feelings ,and not lose temper so easily.After that ,i will think the whole thing again and see it's my fault or not.And see whether it's worth of angry or not.
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@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
9 Apr 10
I think it's really important to evaluate if something is worth our time and anger anyway. Most of the time, I think we'll find that it's not worth wasting our time fuming about something that happened. I agree with you there! Thank you for your honest response.
@Saranggola (956)
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
I've never come to a point wherein I totally blacked out because of anger. When I'm angry I cry, I listen to the musics I love, or talk to my friends to make me calm.
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