Honesty - the best attitude in the friendship?I lost my best friend!!!!
By marianna45
@marianna45 (1399)
Romania
April 9, 2010 12:56pm CST
I care a lot of my best friend, i know her many years ago, but now, i think that she really is very angry with me; i was to honest, i try to make her to change her life, she deserve this, but seems that i can not fight with her obsession;
Each of us face at least once in their lifetime, with a dilemma: to tell the unvarnished truth or be limited to a conventional lie?
When there are problems, it's easy to tell your friend that dress that proved not to be good, but what do you do when you suspect a cheating husband? Are you ready to planted discord?
Experts believe that, if true, one should bear friendship moments of total honesty. If you are not honest with your best friend, will feel that the relationship slip on dangerous ground and you will wonder if you even deserve to May to keep friendship with that person.
It would seem that the absolute sincerity in a friendship lies in motivation when you have your opinions supporting them. Important is not what you say but what you say your friend must feel that tell the truth because you are really concerned about her fate, not because who knows what you have hidden intentions. Sometimes, however, and the best intentions can lead to an unhappy ending.
I told her that she must to change something in her life, but she don t want listen to me, and she don t want to answer to phone, don t want talk with me, and i am sure that she cut all conversation with me; what i can do? I NEED HELP!
1 person likes this
13 responses
@tjen_anni (317)
• Indonesia
9 Apr 10
I'm very sorry for what you've experienced..I'm truly agree that we must concern with our bestfriend. Unfortunately, there are some people who seem don't like if their private area is being touched. I guess your friend doesn't feel secure if someone told her to change.
In my opinion, one that should remember in friendship is Acceptance. Just let she be just the way she is. If you wondered for a change, our task is just give her advise- whether she accept or reject it.
Changes should be made within. We cannot force someone to change.
And remember, friends are easy to make, but a bestfriend is hardly to find.
1 person likes this
@sherkhan691 (56)
• India
9 Apr 10
hi marianna ,i know wats going through ur mind , i now you wanted to correct the drawbacks in ur best friend ,and u were right , once it too happened to me one of my best friend got seperated from me bcoz of the same thing , and my friend and ur friend had same thing in common , and thats ego .......its just ego, after that he started listening to others thought , who tried to criticize me and show that he is great , they played with him , i tried so much to make him realise that u r being tricked by them , but it ended , and i too lost the faith in him, every thing ended , once people were afraid , jealous of our friend ship , but his mind , ego, self centered thing broke our friend ship , we hardly spoke to each other in these 2 years , twice we met face to face in these two years ,but either of us were not interested to talk to each other , just i remember we gave ourselves a fake smile , couldnot talk any thing , and left . to u i tell just give her some time to herself , if she is true to u , she will come back to u , or else let her go and enjoy her life
1 person likes this
@marianna45 (1399)
• Romania
9 Apr 10
No, i refuse to think that is talk about EGO...is not her style, she is a great friend, a great person, but i don t know how i can help her
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
Yes honesty is the best in every relationship because it holds to make the realtionship stronger than ever. Well have you've done many thigns to her to make her life good as you did but she still refuse to talk to you although you are really sincere to her as friend. You've done and many thigns are enough, then try to stop talking to her too but not mean to say that you will leave her. Try to be apert of her so she had the time to realized tha without your help or anyhting with out you is really hard. Let her be with the life style she likes for the meantime and think herself alone. Friends does go for the goodness of her/his friendship. Have a nicwe day!
1 person likes this
@marianna45 (1399)
• Romania
9 Apr 10
I just wanted to help her, nothing more, I prefer not to see how she suffer, I just want to see her happy,a crazy man and mocked her soul, and she does not want to understand...
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
9 Apr 10
Just learn the lesson. 'never be too honest with a friend'. Keep it that way from now on. See what happened, because of honesty, you lost a friend. If you wanna have lots of friends, you should try to watch what you say in order to not hurt anybody.
1 person likes this
@marianna45 (1399)
• Romania
9 Apr 10
But i want just help her, with an advice...she is so great, but she don t want understand that she must change something in her life...
@aviralgoel (3)
• India
10 Apr 10
Honesty isnt Everything ..We need to See Happines, And Other things too..
If You hurting someone by telling a truth..than its just your stupidity
@miaoliang (20)
• China
13 Apr 10
equality is the foundation of everything,try to tell her something bad especially need a good way.may be you should use another way to tell her this,i feel that she doesn't talk to you anymore is not because what you said but the way you said that,she may be feel that her dignity was hurted.what i want to say is :friendship is a science.
@nitu1952 (286)
• India
10 Apr 10
ya honesty is one of the wonderful policy. honesty is the best attitude in the friendship. in today's time friendship is maintained on the basis of one of the most important factor- that's the honesty. honest may sometimes harm us but in the last it gives us the much benefit.
@assinertata (288)
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
Honesty is a non-negotiable virtue/values. Stay honest, whatever the consequences would be. In all relationship it shall be founded with honesty. I understand you're regretting of losing you best friend by being honest. I know how you feel about it, because it happened to me most of the time. But I would never give up honesty just to win back friends or new friends. It might hurt them, because truth sometimes hurts. I think she is avoiding you because she is hurt by the truth you're imposing on her. Or maybe it's not your honesty that made her flee from you. Maybe you become too hard on her to change the way you wanted her to be. It's a different thing. And please don't worry too much of her, she has her own life, let her taste life on her own, and let her learn and experience life by her own, she'll be fine. She is maybe on search about life. Let her go, give her the liberty to enjoy good moments, and to taste the sweetness of pains. sometimes our loved ones grow better alone. Sometimes being too concerned to our friends doesn't help at all, because we don't notice we're being hard on them already. your friendship will be forever in your heart, right?
@earninhobby (381)
• India
10 Apr 10
Friendship is not a give and take policy. A friend in need is a friend indeed. So a true friend should behave as per this saying. Also they should be very honest with their friend.
@pearl_smith (41)
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
Hi Marianna I understand how you felt now.. It happens to me when i help a friend to work abroad and now she is there very successful she completely forget me.Every time i come online try to chat with her but she will just send one message saying she is "BUSY I'm SORRY" so it is very hurt in my part I feel so down to know her real beauty, When we are in both country before I cared for her a lot I treat her like my own sister when she don't have a job for 3 months until she finally found a good job... Even it is hurt i still praying for her that someday she will remember that there is a friend waiting for her emails or text... We can't force anyone to remember us... BUT they should know where they started to be successful..
@greatch (8)
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
in friendship relationship there's always a slight arguments but not at all times there's always a time you can get bond with them even though they are to far away from you because of works but it's okey if you still have a communication with her/him there's a lot ways to be connected with them a real friend will never leave you even though you change a lot of things they will still accept you who you are!
