Does it take a lot of denial to have lots of friends?

To me it's always quality over quantity I'd rather have 1 or 2 friends rather than 100 or 1000 I spent most of my youth alone, being bullied and all only found 1 best friend in college year but then she had to move away because she couldn't find work where we lived I have seen enough of hypocrisy in life that I'm not going to allow people like these around me at all some people do it, because they have to -- you can see this in work environment they just do it, to keep their jobs other than work, some people do it because they want to avoid arguments I also know someone who keeps telling me 'I don't want to lose friendship, who knows I might need them' the truth is, arguments happen even if they are friends because everyone has their own opinions and they can only keep their mouths shut for so long, so arguments are inevitable regardless as far as friendship for benefit, I wouldn't even count on it because only TRUE friends will be there for us the rest will be bailing out LOL and the very people who is only in for 'just in case', they will be the ones who bail out first I know delusional people like this they can't do anything without their friends, they are also bullies see, bullies don't travel alone we all have our lessons, they will learn theirs live and enjoy life - the truth never loses

In psychology we would explain that interpersonal relationship as explained by margaret mahler , which stems when you were still a baby, you depend on your mother and if you view your mother as not good, you also have a tendency to view other people as not good. Some who do not mature would think of other people or friends that hurt them as all evil or all good, and if you see them not as a person who has evil and good traits then you will have a problem in reating to others.

...Hi there hvedra, Hope you are doing well. A couple of things come to mind here. If a person needs a lot of friends, then there may be something lacking within, to have to avail themselves of so many people. Then if the people are disloyal and unkind to them and they still want to have them around, then my thought would be that the person is really suffering from very low self-esteem. I can't remember myself ever needing to have a lot of friends, even in high school, I wasn't quite a loner, but not a social butterfly. People you call friends should be loyal, which goes both ways, and trustworthy. Friends also have to be cultivated in my opinion and that takes time. How can you give time to many, many people and do all of them justice as a friend? Interesting subject. Take care.

friends ARE great to have . many people confuse friends with aquaintances that you may see once in a while or while your 2-4 year old is takig classes to keep mommies from going crazy.Once you,re out of that stage its harder to stay connected. True friends are with you always in mind and spirit.I have a few good friends from high school that i see once ayear and its cool knowing the relationship is always there. then their are 2 or 3 friends that make everyday worth while other than husbands,boyfriends and children. they are your rock of gilbralter that you can,t live without.

i wonder about the same thing since i don't have a lot of friends as well..probably its because they don't see the reality of who their "friends" are yet..

i don't think that that kind of friends are real friends. it's like just a friend that you show off as your friend, but actually he/she is not. i would rather have a few very good friends that a lot of backstabbing friends like you said

They may be deluding themselves or forgive too much and too easily. Or they may see the benifits of having such a 'friend' such as in high school and being in a popular group. I have a special group of friends and we tell each if we not happy with their behaviour but because we been friends for 13 years we can do this and not fall out

Hey hvedra! I think that you have the right attitude! Unfortunately, in life people are going to be people and that means that sometimes they will backstab or bad mouth even their own supposed "good friends". I don't know if that is people deluding themselves if they are aware that they realize that this is the way that the world works or not! I, for one am a realist! I know that no matter how close I am to certain people and no matter how much they "claim" to be my friends that as soon as I turn my back they are going to say nasty things to someone else about me! If we delude ourselves into believing that they don't the we would be the ones that are delusional! No one is perfect and this is just how people are! Even the best of friends do this at times and we would be fools to think they don't! I'm sure you've done it yourself if you think about and be honest!

You know that saying, "With friends like that...." I wouldn't call those people friends. I'd call them acquaintances.

I am almost 65 years old and I met my oldest friend when we were 10 years old. She has been in other countery many times but we "phone visit" almost every day. And we also msn each other. Besides her, I have at least 5 close friends, so close that I consider them part of my family. I think that those other people you are calling friends have a way of disappearing soon from our lives. Only the best ones remain. Happy posting!

there r alot kind-intend lies here,u should be calm down to see this and i wanna say if u and ur friends r really good friends both of u will not take care ofsuch little denials

That's why I don't have lots of friends. I only have two or three and yet I still don't put my complete trust in them. Like you, I also am very picky when it comes to who to hang out with, because based on my experience, I always get out of place or left alone when I join a group of people just because I want company, not realizing that in the end we just have different interests and I'm still left feeling unhappy. Those people who have so many "friends" probably just love the idea of "the more, the merrier". I would love to have many friends if all of them are sincere, but if not, then no thanks. I don't wanna have acquaintances to have shallow relationships with. For me it's about the quality of the friendship and not quantity.

I don't think so I think a good fried is a loyal person in your life. He has to present in good and bad moments, someone you can count on when you sad and sharing laughter when you happy. A true friend is someone who never stab you in back and threat you like what ever they feel please. I think every human is value able and must be threat with respect. I value myself and I will be friend with person who think the same. Its better to few friend but loyal than many friend who make you stressed.

having a lot of friends doesn't really that of a big deal. it is the kind of friends you have. those people who are honest do love you. these are the people who accepted you for who you are. for your short comings and your best. those who would stand with you through thick or thin.

I am the same way about friends. I think alot of people do delude themselves as to friendship and the 'caring' of friends. I am very fortunate to have some very good friends, one I have known since junior high. I think people throw around the word 'friend' too easily. I hate the type of 'friends' that tell you what they think you want to hear and are fare weather friends. Has to do with our self-esteem and ethics.