If we love the person why do we want them to change?

In most cases this is true. But it could depend on what they are asking you to change. If you have a habit or do something that they are afraid may be detrimental to your health and they are asking you to change that, they are simply looking out for you and want to help you. But in most cases if someone truely loves you then they will accept your faults and not ask you to change a thing.

In some cases, the person who loves us, actually love some part of us and want to love us more than that. But this only happens with conditions apply. Therefore a few habits changed could lead to a better you in their eyes.

loving a person is accepting the whole person without if and but, accepting his/her failures and shortcomings, accepting all differences without question thats part of loving.... love a person because of what and who he/she is, not because of what you want him/her to be. Dont change him/her or else she/he will not be the same person you loved.....

No one should ever change for a loved one. Acceptance need to come from the heart. You should be accepted as you are. TATA.

Judging from the manner at which the person you refer to talks, it sound as though he was not that serious of changing you. The person appear to be venting instead of preaching because of the choice of coarse words. The difference between teaching and venting is not that readily obvious. The words may mean something but the tone and deliver tells otherwise. A trick to know whether it was a vent is to check if there had been relief at the face of the person after the said vent or teaching episode.

You are absolutely right. If someone loves you they shouldn't force you to change yourself. It might be okay to inform you of things they don't like about you but they shouldn't force you. They should accept the fact that no one is perfect.

Hi arreolabryan... I agree that loving a person means accepting him the way he is. But sometimes loving a person also means helping him change for the better, on rare situations though people want you to change for their own benefit. One example is a girlfriend who's trying to tell her boyfriend to quit smoking. The girl may have accepted the fact that the guy loves to smoke but she still persists on him quitting to smoke for his own good. Now going back to your situation, try asking yourself why that someone told you to make those changes. If you think he/she wants you to do it for your betterment then go ahead and do so otherwise when it's just for his/her benefit, simple ignore him/her.

Yes, I agree with you. But, you know, human is kinda selfish animal. When you get one, you want one more, and you get something good, then you want sonething better. So when we have someone, we may want him or her to be perfect who we think is the right guy... But if some friends ask you to chang, maybe they you are wrong in doing somthing? Anyway, if someone love you he/she should first accept you, no doubt.

yes..but what they worry is when u meet new people who dont like what u do, he/she just want to help u avoid this~and that is your truely lover,help u to improve yourself.

Yes, loving a person is accepting him/her of what he/she is. We don't have to ask our love one to be somebody else. Although it is right to tell him things that are not likeable on him but not to change him.