When the sick won't get help.

Not to stereotype or anything, but aren't men the ones who are guilty of not going to the doctor when they need to? (LOL) My husband and I have been married over nine months now. I've been to the doctor at least five times, and he hasn't needed to go once! It's a good thing for the checkbook, but not for their health if there's something they need to get checked out! My dad is guilty of not going to the doctor when he needs to. The first time was when he got diabetes because of his weight. He finally went in and got it all figured out. Now he gives himself the shots, takes his blood, etc. on his own. (However, he could just lose a little weight and not have to do all that anymore!) Another time is (in general) when he's in pain because he used to go to the chiropractor and get all straightened out. In fact, he's the reason my mom, sisters, and I started going to the chiropractor. The most recent time he finally went is was when he couldn't stand the pain anymore...a massive kidney stone. I don't know the measurements or anything like that, but I guess it was a pretty big one and very damaging. I hope the kidney stone gives him a hint that he needs to shape up with his health in general so he's around for us for a long time! (Maybe you could use this tactic on your dad...if he's going to be selfish and not go, he could at least consider you and your family. He needs to keep himself around for all of you who love him!) I had another scare last summer when my grandpa who lives a few states away fell of a stool and got a nice gash in his head. He refused to go in for weeks. They thought he might have a concussion. However, he finally went in and found out nothing was wrong, which he should've done in the first place, but at least it gave him and everyone peace of mind knowing it was ok.

Oh yes, I do know someone who is sick and refuses to go to the doctor. Recall that I moved last year? Well, so did my Mom and she has been sick since. She dislikes where she lives very much and wants to move back to the town that she moved from. Through being sick since about a month after she moved, she responds, I will wait until I get "home" when we tell her that she needs to see a doctor. We have thought about taking her out and just driving right to the hospital. Would that work for your Dad? My Mom is just very stubborn. I think that she has something serioously wrong with her and that perhaps she knows or thinks so too and doesn't want to see the doctor in the town she is in now, in case she is hospitalized.. Not sure but at least going to the doctor that will give her a thorough once over would be a relief. It is so unfair for us, those on the outside to have to witness and listen to the illness complaints, meanwhile they refuse to go to the doctor. It just seems azzinine! Sometimes she can barely breath and is cough up crap for months now. She is tired, a lot and can not seem to think clearly, repeating stuff over and over. I don't know what is wrong. I just wish she would go to a doctor. Truth is that the doctors that are in that town are not so great. My brother in law ended up dying because the doctors told him that he couldn't breath n such because he had pneumonia. Turned out he had lung cancer. So I can see why she wouldn't bother wanting to see the doctors there but even when I offer to take her to where she moved from, she refuses. Crazy. I hope for you that you Dad understands that he needs to go to the doctor for his own best interest but so his family can stop worrying about him, being at more ease knowing whats up. Good luck on that.

Your talking about me, as almost didn't make it in January. My husband rushed me to the emergency room and gall stones were so large one had ruptured. Gall bladder was beyond repair and had to be removed. I have recovered and now am taking better care of myself.

My father also don't like to go to the hospital. He do not admit to us that he is just afraid of the needles. Whenever we insist him of visiting a doctor he always says alibis when we know the truth. I am afraid of needles too, but when I feel I am going to die I will not risk my life because I am afraid of the needles. What is important my life or the scary needles. My father is always angry whenever we insist him to be check by a doctor. Actually he was stabbed in his arms before but he insist to do not put anesthetia, because he was afraid of the needles. I don't know why Fathers don't want to see a doctor or be brought to the hospital.

Actually the people I know go even if it isn't serious. Myself, I only go if it is serious and even then I wait. Like when I had appendicitis, I waited and if I believe if I waited much longer it would have busted..

Yes, my mom is very much like your dad. She doesn't like going to the hospital or seeing a doctor. She prefers self-medication. She lives with my sister whose hubby works abroad but my sister occassionally calls me to ask for help in convincing her to have a check-up everytime my mom gets sick. Since I'm a registered nurse (working in an office though), it will be only be me alone who can put some sense into her and can talk her to have even an outpatient check-up. But even though she is like this, she, on the other hand, gets mad at us too when she sees a grandchild sick and we don't immediately bring the said child to a nearby hospital for a check-up (weird isn't it?). One time I brought up this topic when I was with them on our simple get together and she said it's because she's old already and we don't really need to worry about her that much anymore. That old people really just tend to feel more pain or sickly but it doesn't mean we have to rush her to the ER. We all did not agree with it but she just laughed and remained the same up to this time. :(

My husband refuses to go till he falls over on the floor, then I have to call squad and last time his gall bladder was about to burst. Time before he had some other major problem. He too says it will be better tomorrow, this last time about a month ago first of March I think I just called the squad and let them take him, they go on and hope it gets better but it won't and one day hubby going to wait till it too late to help him. He has insurance and no problem with paying it just he dont' like to go. Really I think it is they are afraid that they will tell them something they dont' want to hear.

Dearest Ambie...I truly think it has something to do with our upbringing..I, too am very reticent to go to a Dr. It was an extreme thing to do, as a child, and we only went if the problem was "extreme!" And hence, the results were extreme. I think, we don't want to know the truth...and if we don't know it...don't have to face it! And the consequences! This leads me to tell you, that's why I have been so quiet, lately...I let things get to the extreme, and now I face LOTS of issues! If I would have dealt with them in a timely manner...things would NOT have gotten out of hand! Please, please tell your Father, that he must deal..NOW..with his issues, as putting them off, gets him the treatment that he wants to avoid! Interrupting the illness before it is full-blown, gives him a chance for full-recovery...before damage is so severe it cannot be repaired! Please get him to a Dr. Take care...I hope you are able to accomplish this mission...I will be thinking of you!

LOL :D I personally is one of those people who doesn't like to go to a doctor, i just don't like the smell of medicine ^_^ I have been coughing for 2 months before i go to a doctor, and apparently i had a lung infection, luckily it wasn't too late for medicine, almost the whole area of my left lung got infected and it was painful enough just to breath without taking the medicine, so i'm glad i met this lung specialist doctor :) It's almost half a year now, and because i can't stand taking the medicine for more than a month, my lung got infected again now T_T i guess i haven't fully cured the last time so it came back.

That just sounds 100% like my grandad, his isnt sick before he is so weak he hardly can stand, and then he goes to the doctor, but certainly not before if he can avoid it. If he got energy enough to stand he doesnt believe he is sick...

My father avoids doctors and hospitals when he can, but he's not like your father. If he starts feeling serious pain he won't endure it for a week. He would see a doctor in about 2 days. He doesn't like dentists either. It's hard to convince him to have annual check-ups to make sure that he has good health.

i was at a certain point in my life like your dad. that was when i was younger and felt invincible and invulnerable to any kind of disease. you know, my refusal was more out of fear that at that stage in my life i am not invulnerable afterall. it's also a sort of denial. but now, anytime i feel something is wrong, even a severe headache, that in the past can easily be addressed with a paracetamol, would prompt me into calling for an appointment with my doctor. at times, age has something to do with not seeing a doctor. also, there is also the economic side to it -- the cost of a doctor's service plus the possible list of medicines that has to be bought and taken on a regular basis. eventually, however, your dad may come to terms with that reality of having to really take care of his health. that's what happened to me... i just hope, it won't be late...

I'm probably the worst one in my family for not going to the doctor when I really should. I'm kind of like your Dad...it'll get better. And then when it doesn't, I'm in the hospital for a week trying to recover from something that wasn't that bad until I let it get out of control. The rest of my family does a whole lot better than I do about seeing a doctor.

We should consult a doctor for whatever it is that we feel is not getting any better for days. It always safe to have any illness diagnosed earlier.

Ambie if you think it is that serious you need to try and persuade him to go I used to be like him until this hit me what I have now even now at times I still leave it and shouldn't I do not know what is up with him but if you think it could be serious make him go Tell him to get checked out I am wondering if it is fear that is keeping him from going I really hope he will go

Ambie, I am the one who refuses to go to the doctor. If I am working, and have insurance, then I feel that I do not have time, my work needs me too much. If I am not working, and do not have insurance, I feel I cannot afford to go. I grew up with a mom who went to the doctor a lot, whether it was necessary or not. She always had some health complaints. I believe for her it was an acceptable way to ask for attention. She believed that her health was neglected as a child. On the other hand, my dad almost never went to the doctor. He has some health issues now, but usually refuses to talk about them. He says that between his own life and his wife's life they probably do not have ten years left. Makes me sad. I had the foot surgery, because I had insurance, and because I felt it was causing back trouble. I have not had a physical in who knows when. I have not been sick enough for medical treatment for about two years, I think. I just need to lose some weight.

I am bad about not going to the doctor but that's because when I was a kid I was there all the time....I go if need be though....but if it's not broke I don't try to fix it.....if it's broke.....I do.

hi Ambie, My dad was like that. He refused to go to the doctor unless things were so bad that he was scared. For him that had to be really really bad. Actually, I guess I'm kind of the same way. I don't get sick often and it is rare that I go. I just don't. I don't have insurance and that is part of the reason but only part of it. Even when I did have insurance I only went like once in 5 yrs.

Members of my family are also like that. They don't want to go to the doctor and they always think that it will just be a waste of money. But I always insist they do consult a doctor. Money is useless without them. Besides if things get even worst, more money will be of waste. Money can be found but life can only be lived once, it is very precious so take care of it.

My mom is pretty much sick too shes got diabetes high blood pressure and some condition about her legs that makes them shrink slowly.But when we try to convince her to go to her doctor shes always saying no, and telling us as well that she will get well pretty soon. Maybe our sick loved ones dont want us to be bothered or to pay lots of money just for their condition. Im sure you know that its not a bother for us or the money will be well spent but sometimes they tend to think that way. All we do is convince her until she just cant find a way to refuse anymore lol Try that to your dad to who knows it might work