Would being winner mean anything if you couldnt really share it with anybody?

Ok let me cite an example. I stay with my father, I lose some opportunities. I aint too happy about somethings but at least I have may papa. Now, I go out. Get me a very good job, frankly it is more for luxuries. It is not guaranteed that I will be happy doing that job - but it is nice to believe that everything will be positive out there. Should things go bad, I would have lost time to be with my papa, who may no longer be able to recognize me, or even not be there for me. Should I leave for greener pastures, hoping something good would come out, or be here - lose the opportunity. My decision is, stay back. Agreed, things can get worse for me, but so also things can get better! It is a 50:50 chance! When I go out, the odds are slightly against me! I will miss papa wont I? :)

Vannie, i understand all you are saying. Now listen to this. You will miss papa, but you have your own life, sweetie. Life don't wait for us. You do what makes you happy. TATA.

Hi buchi_bulla, ladder climbing has something to do with my personal security as well. I have earned something, which if we go on as we do, will be sufficient for my lifetime. But I have another problem. I have a lousy set of relatives who have beaten me up in the past. Should anything happen to papa, they might cascade down upon me. If they do, they will beat me up and make me sign papers, losing all that I have worked so hard for. Then my only hope would be a job. At that late stage, I might not get any job. It is that fear that prompts me to sway. I also want my papa to be proud of me - not that he is not already. If I could, I would run away into oblivion without a trace, but for my father. He doesnt want to move out from here, and here, I continue to face this risk. As I look at it now - if it has to happen, it will happen even then. My this decision can be as wrong as the other. So why not stay back and spend my time with papa and wait for some miracle from god. Who knows my relatives might not choose to come this time as there is a strong public opinion now against them and their actions.

He is impossible Dawn! Take for instance this morning. I have to visit a friend of mine for their problem, which I can solve by writing some response and sending through courier just about 100 steps away from my home. Then I have to discuss something with my auditor, and that can be fairly lengthy discussion. I also had to collect some pass books from post office. These three tasks require me to move out of home. :) Right now, my maid is on leave for 15 days so I have household chores as well added to my already tense timeline. Out here the temperature is about 44 degrees centigrade. :) I told dad I will complete all three on one day, that is the 30th! He said no, I should spread it over three days. By the time I return, I will be too tired! That means loss of three working days! I have somebody coming tomorrow, and on the 29th. He just doesnt understand condensing the work. He says it is my laziness. I disagree. We also have water problems. It was same throughout when I worked. He invariably disturbs me mentally so that I find it difficult to concentrate. But if I leave him, I dont really have anybody else who has loved me as much. :( He does cool down - and he is so angelic then. :(

Yeah, real life dilemmas are really bad. :) We take a decision after a lot of thinking, and it can go wrong! :) Yeah, he is a nice friend. :) He is younger, and thinks of life positively. I am older, with considerable experience behind me. My values differ from him. :) I think our lives should be based on what we individually value. I cant possibly be basing my life on his values. I might value staying with my papa, another person may value earning more. We each have our individual conditions, dont we? :) I think well wishers can look at things from their perspective. But it is the individual alone who can decide what his or her values are. It is those desires and values when honestly admitted to self that can tilt the balance in right direction - that is direction of no regrets. Thank you for responding professor. :) Have a great day. :)

I do believe he has my best interests in his heart. :) He is just too young to understand my perspective perhaps. :)

Hi jackie_lotie, I agree. :) Yes, we have to be honest with our selves. I am possibly finding this choice attractive because of some fear which may not even materialize. There is no point in taking in losing on both fronts. :) Thanks for such clear thinking. :)

Hi udayrao, I am inclined to agree with you. :) We always procrastinate, I wish I'd done that, or wish I had not done that. But hind sight is always wiser. :) When we are in dilemma, we have to take a gamble. :) Generally the first thought that comes to mind is possibly what god wanted us to do. I noticed that whenever god didnt want me to do something, he made it a point to obstruct it - once. If I defied it, and went ahead, I almost always ended in some painful situation. So if there is an obstruction - vighna - I tend to walk away from it - however attractive the deal may be. I believe that whatever god wants to give me will come at the right time. I also believe he cannot be unfair. :)