Mommie Dearest!

Well, one of the problems might be that you're LETTING her do what she does. I don't know your situation so it's hard to say, but I know of a woman in her 30's that lets her mother get away with talking bad to her and really talking down to her and getting her all worked up. She always complains about how she's old enough to make her own decisions and run her own life and everything, but she says these things to me and she doesn't stand up to her mother. She lets her mother do it. And when I tell her to put her foot down and stand up for herself she makes excuses about why she CAN'T stand up for herself. She can, she just doesn't want to. I think that's what you need to do. Stand up for yourself. People, regardless of how old they are, are like children. If you tell a child not to do something, they're going to do it anyway, right? Because they want to test your boundaries. If you tell them 5 times that they'll go in time out if they do something and they keep doing it and you never punish them then they know you don't mean it and they're going to think they can do anything they want. Same with other people. If you say you're really making me mad and I'm not going to want to be around you if you don't stop or I won't talk to you while you talk down to me or something like that, but you never do it then they won't change their actions. Some people won't change their actions either way, but I've known people who have intentionally hung up or stopped talking to someone after constantly talking with them about their behavior and this intentional ignoring actually worked. I wish you the best of luck with your mother! It's really hard to say what will work in your situation as every situation is different, but it's certainly time that she let you live your own life.