Slowly moving on
By arystine
@arystine (1273)
Philippines
April 22, 2010 7:34pm CST
The beginning of the year was horrible for me. I lost two of the most important persons in my life. It was really hard for me to move on with my life. Looking back now, I am still amazed on how I've come this far... I was such a mess back then.
Life has been better when March came. Changes in work schedule and positive news made me happier. For a change, I haven't been crying each day. But there are still those moments when I weep uncontrollably, as if the bad events have just happened... as if the wounds are still raw.
Right now, I can say that I am slowly moving on. That there are days again of continuous laughter... That there are days when I feel blessed and contented. But sometimes, there's that feeling of guilt--as if I'm having the time of my life but I have truly left behind the persons who made this good life possible for me.
Mylotters, I'm sorry if this discussion is a little depressing. I just miss my loved ones who passed away early this year. :-(
2 people like this
7 responses
@iwrite (5034)
• Singapore
23 Apr 10
arystine,
I understand how it is like when someone close to you leave you, that moment of lost does not hit you until you are alone and the moment of weakness is when you feel like nothing is worth living for.
However I am glad you are strong and able to move you. I hope you would have more blessing coming your way. And you always have a friend in me.
@arystine (1273)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
Thanks iwrite. blessings are really pouring in my life right now. That's why it hurts more, because my loved ones who passed away were not able to witness all these new accomplishments and changes in my life. I just always remind myself that being strong is the only choice that I have right now..
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
3 May 10
I guess the saying 'when a door closes, God opens up a window'. I don't know if this is appropriate to what you're feeling, but I try to look for windows when I get into trouble. Or just feeling really bad, or sad. Sometimes I think that deep inside I'm a good person, that even when I really feel down, I feel I deserve some relief to help me move on. You should feel the same.
I know that you're already taking the right steps that is helping you move on. And I know that all these trials you have in the past will help make you a stronger person inside. Goodluck!
How's the election coming in? Still busy?
@arystine (1273)
• Philippines
6 May 10
Thanks bounce. :-) Once more, I would like to say that your words never fail to make me feel better. I do feel that way sometimes, that I deserve some relief... because sometimes I still couldn't believe that in this world, there exists such pain that's too much for a person to endure. Looking back, I feel that I've become a very strong person because I was able to overcome those horrible months earlier this year.
@StarBright (2798)
• United States
23 Apr 10
It is very difficult when you lose someone close to you. We grieve for our loved ones for a long time so it is natural to have a lot of mixed emotions. You are right, the wounds are still open and raw right now. Hopefully, in time, when you think of them you will be able to remember the happy times you had together and smile. Put the guilt feelings away. If you think about it, you will know your loved ones would never want you to have that feeling. Love only wants the best for you. Think of your loved ones as still with you spiritually and wanting you to have the best that life can offer. You owe it to them to make the best of what you have. God bless and take care.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
Well, it's nice to hear that despite the tragedies, you've realized life has more to offer and that you appreciate these things. I hope that you continue on this positive outlook on life and continue to believe that although there are pains, there are also laughter.Good luck to you!
@bretski_kimie (153)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
I know how you feel of losing someone. There are times that you just want to keep all the ones you love around you so they won't be lost. Well that is impossible and we just have to accept the fact that life is a cycle. Some comes and some goes. That goes true with us too in relation to the people who loves us.
@junrapmian (2169)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
Hi! It's good that you have recovered. I commend you for passing all those painful days with a smile in the end. It is normal that when we remember those happenings that made us cry, we can still feel the pain as if it happened only yesterday. However, life is not always full of heartbreaking circumstances, at the end of the rain, the rainbow comes and at the end of every storm, the sun will still shine and shower us all his sunshine. Life as it is, is always full of ups and downs, we can be happy now and cry the next day. What is important is we are able to recover and smile once more. Just keep smiling and everything's gonna be alright! 
