mistakes

I think we are often comfortable with our misery. "The devil I know is better than the one I don't" In other words, my misery is my comfort zone and when I weigh it against the fear of the unknown (change), it is just easier.....

We do mistakes..it is a very natural thing as we are human beings. When we don't make mistakes anymore, we will have wings and dressed in white. We are not angels who can't make mistakes..

I have found that applies to me. My sister has realized it, too. We apparently have unresolved issues but no idea what they are so we live by ourselves very happily. It would greatly reduce misery and future divorces if people would get some help when a relationship breaks up and find out what caused it then work to overcome that. Unfortunately, few people do. Most of us are stuck in the same cycle of hoping things will be different next time while we repeat the same mistakes.

Thats a really interesting discussion topic. I don't think it is because we fail to learn from lour mistakes, not always anyway. I think its got more to do with most relationships having similar problems, and we just don't realise it. Because from the outside in, everyone seems to have a perfect relationship. But only two people in the actual relationship are aware of what their problems are. This obviously doesn't apply if you keep getting stuck with someone that has addiction problems or a violent personality however.

Making the same mistakes again and again nothing to do with not learning the lesson. We just cant help it. Mistake tend to repeat because the mindset of the people doesn't change so easily. For example a husband always does what feels right for him. His wife night feel that is wrong and they might get into an argument. But even then another time the same thing will still seem correct to the husband and he might repeat it and the problem goes on. So it is very hard to get rid of such things and the best way is to adjust and cope up and remember that such things are common and should not spoil the relationship.

I am also in the same boat as you savypat. I have no idea how to fix it, I also keep on getting in those pits where I can't get out. I guess, when somebody said the one that cares less in a relationship holds the power is true

This is a hugely deep question as relationships, with ourselves reflect that which we have with others and is truly the most complex ed. It is a matter of learning, from our mistakes? Perhaps but definitely learning, growing and becoming more mature. For me, I read the book The Erroneous Zones by Wayne Dyer, of all things and it changed my life, Forever. I was in a nasty relationship, I was getting hit and we both fought with each other, verbally. I was reading the book and 3/4 way through, it was like a huge light bulb came on and I woke up to the fact that I no longer have to be treated the way I had been and that not only life itself has a whole lot more to offer but me to myself. I think it boils down to giving ourselves more self respect and constantly seeking answers to the most intimate questions that we have within ourselves. I believe that is where it begins, to get ourselves out of the rut of always making the same mistakes, finding ourselves in the same vicious circle over and over again in each relationship. They say that women continue to get involved with the same kind of man, say that verbally or even physically abuse because that is what they are used to. Take a woman who is used of this type of relationship. She may say she doesn't want to be in it and leave, only to fall into yet another one. Per row, mature and become more rounded, more experienced. For myself, i also found that I was leading a rather sheltered life. I didn't realize that a lot of the way I was being treated was unacceptable until I seen how other couples treated each other in their own home. That also began to help me realize "Hey! I deserve to be treated much better". I think the bottom line is a person just has to have had enough cr*p in a relationship to finally want to change, for the better, never to return to the old ways, ever again.

Hi savypat, I think you are right in saying that they have not learned the necessary lessons to move on. What's more we will keep on making the same mistakes until we do learn. It isn't a punishment, it's just the natural order of things. The universe will not let us move on until we are ready even it it takes many lifetimes. Blessings.

Some people don't learn. Some don't want to. Some don't want to compromise certain things about themselves. But some people do and manage to be very happy the next time around. (so they tell me lol)

Hey pat! I think that we make the same mistakes, well some of us because we basically don't like to hurt people and end up being in the wrong relationships for that reason. I have a friend that I have known since we were 10 years old. No matter how hard I try we just keep butting heads over everything. She has serious mental issues so I try to allow for them, but no matter I still end up feeling stressed and sorry everytime I try to keep her in my life! She just pushes all my buttons and sucks all the life out of me and I put up with it for as long as I can until I can't do it anymore and every couple of months I stop talking to her, like now! We both have been through alot since we were ten and we both know each others families so it is a difficult relationship at best and that is why I try so hard.

Humans don't take lesson from the past. So we do the same mistake. There is no remedy.

That is an interesting question and I asked the same a few years ago. I was limping away from yet another painful break up wondering why this continually happened to me and became aware of the similar pattern throughout all my relationships up to that point. I decided that although I was not responsible for how badly men treated me I was the one who let them stay in my life and hurt me and that was a pattern that had to be broken if I was ever to find happiness. Sometimes these situations are like habits and we don’t realise what we are doing until we are wounded yet again. Break the pattern I did and yes, life is good now...

I think that sometimes mistakes are a part of who we are. I think that there are certain traits that are just inevitable. Maybe it is someting else that needs to change. There are sonme things about people that may seem like mistakes but are really a part of a bigger problem or just part of them..kind of depends I guess.

making mistakes is natural and common names are also human beings would not have escaped from the mistakes and sins ..... than thinking about the mistakes you make it would be nice if you fix it even if just a little i just wanna said keep trying

i think the basic nsture of selfishness is ingrained in us which is why we fail to learn ,this cannot be taught in any schools,i think it all comes with wisdom.

Sometimes it is very hard for us to avoid committing the same error or mistake even if we have previously promised not to do the same mistake. Maybe we are not aware of the mistakes that we commit because of the pattern of activities that we do are purely the same. ..

The main reason i feel is due to the fact that old habits die hard.We keep doing the self defeating mistakes in spite of the harm it does to us.Its more difficult to change and adopt those habits that will be more useful and effective to us than continuing with the old habits.Its this inability to change our thinking and habit that lands in difficulty.

For me mistakes is correct if we both have a humble attitude so that we can settle for every thing.

Im sorry you make the same mistakes. What needs to be done is a list of what you dont like in a man and when you meet another man, you go through the list. Thats what I did after my divorce, well actually thats not true, I met the man Im with now while I was married lol.....ok so I knew it wouldnt work and then asked my present partner to go down my list with me.......we've been together for the past 30 or 31 yrs.....sorry I forget!! Try the list, it does work.....well it did for me.

We must learn from our mistakes, if we don't then we are bound to repeat them again. If this happens in a relationship too often, then the person making such mistakes repeatedly is obviously taking the other persons for granted? There is a streak of arrogance in him or her. They must correct themselves to prevent heartburn in future.