is it really favoritism?

being a parent, sometimes i feel i am a bad parent. when i look at them all, i cannot help but compare one from the others. i am not showing my feelings to them, and i know i am not showing favoritism but i am not sure if i have it... but being a child, i don't feel my parents had been unfair to us. i know one is better than the others. i know i was a bad child once. but i don't feel bad for them. i guess it is but normal to parents.

I agree it isn't possible because children all have different personalities, different abilities and ages of course. Young children do sometimes read that as you loving one more than the other so it helps to explain when they seem upset that you are letting one do something you won't let them or making them do something and but the other child. Like I have my older daughter hang their clothes for me and she asks one day "Why doesn't Caitlin have to hang anything?" I tell her "Because Caitlin is still a little shorty".

You have hit the nail on the head with this: equal treatment isn't always fair, and fair treatment isn't always equal. Obviously if you have three kids, you don't let ONE of them have 10 cookies which the others only get 2 cookies, but at the same time perhaps one of them likes little league and the other one likes art. It would be horrible to force the artist to play little league and to force the little leaguer to paint just because you want everything 'equal'. For instance, I have three kids, the oldest one was never interested in things that the little one does. Someone outside the situation might say 'well that's not fair, why didn't you do those things with the older one' and I'd have to say - yes it's fair, she wasn't interested lol.

I have often wondered how parents can make a difference in their children. I think it's a horrible thing to do. I have 2 sons & love them both dearly & EVEN IF I FELT A DIFFERENCE IN THEM WHICH I DON'T I WOULD NEVER SHOW IT. i THINK IT IS A VERY CRUEL THING TO DO.

We raised our children under house rules, all the same. But each child had different needs so they receeived different attention toward those needs. All three children were loved equally, but not necessarly liked, each had a different personality which changed with their growth. They all went through difficult times which requiared special attention from one or more of their parents. However if you were to ask each grown child who was preferred or loved more each would say the other two had the better childhood. Parents just can't win no matter how hard they try. It's really war.

i am the youngest among the 5 of us... well i don't think my parents practiced favoritism on us., they treat us exactly on what age or level we are, on how we can manage things, and whats the best on us. i think it's our duty to be humble enough just to let our brothers and sister happy on how they treat them with our parents.

As a parent of 2 children, I know how important it is to treat your children as equals however this is easier said than done as childrens ages need to be taken into account as you would not be able to treat or speak to a 4 year old in the same way you would to a 10 year old however as long as your love for the children equals the same and that your desire to do anything for them is always there then thats the most imporatant thing and I have particular found that talking to your children and explaining why you might have done something different or new for there siblings works very well as this makes the child feel grown up or provides them with that all important understanding they need for situations where you have treated one different to another.

No matter how we put it, there's always gonna be favoritism. Even if they say they don't have any favorites among their kids, they're lying. But they try to not show it cuz if they do, there'll be jealousy and they don't want that.

Whether we like it or not, our parents will always have a favorite kid. But that doesn't mean that they love their other kids less. Sometimes, some kids are naturally good at getting attention, maybe because their too cute. But i guess that's just how it is. Our parents will always love us, no matter what.

That was the hard part of being a parent, whether you have equal love to your children, it will be totally different when it comes to treatment. I think, it depends on the attitude or personality of the child. Some child needs more attention than the other, that's the issue of favoritism would be come up. Later, all your children will realized all those things when they grew up... :)