what would you do when you was hurt by the one you care about?
@fansilawobuzhidao (47)
China
April 25, 2010 10:49am CST
In our life,we often hurt the people we love and may be hurt by one we care about.Sometimes i feel so sad when they hurt me,but after that ,i will choose to forget that.Because i know they love me and they also get hurt when they hurt me .So can you tell me how to do when you get hurt by the one you care about?
5 responses
@Trancemaker (27)
• Cyprus
25 Apr 10
In my opinion, the best way is to discuss it with this person. If it's a real friend or family, that should not be a problem, if each one of you set your ego's aside.
If you determine, that that person wanted what was best for you, then I think you won't feel so bad about it. I always try to be honest, when getting into such discussions. It's very easy to heart the other person you are talking with, especially if it is something important. I always make a small introduction, before possibly saying something that will hurt the other person. I will try not to, clear it up, and say it as gently as possible.
There is a personal war going inside you when you care about someone that has hurt you. It's very hard to phase him/her... it's hard to accept that it hurts you, or that the person has hurt you... You start wondering why, how, when... the best solution is to talk about it, or talk it with that person.
@fansilawobuzhidao (47)
• China
1 May 10
Yes ,my friend ,communication is a good way to solve many problems .Only say everything clearly,misunderstanding will be eliminated .
@Trancemaker (27)
• Cyprus
1 May 10
The problem is finding the will, the way and the confidence against everything you don't like to do this. I find it often hard to do it... for example, if you are expecting an apology greater than the apology you should also give... it is a struggle inside you...
The good thing, is to go first... which hurts your ego. On the other hand, imagine if the other person, doesn't even apologize to you, even if he was the person who should be apologizing (I am of course talking about objectively wrong - not because I say so, or I am always right).
Also, if you feel so bad about something, so hurt... how can you talk to the other person? It hurts to even think about it... you are expecting the other person to talk to you, while he could be thinking the same. That's where good advise takes place, and also... a common friend should play a big part, WITHOUT taking part or sides in this situation. Sort of consulting, without talking about the situation, but mostly "generally speaking".
I have been in this situation a few times... family mostly, but also friends. I know what's right, I advise friends to do what is right, when it comes down to me, I am either weak or too selfish/egoistic to do what I should. Time HEALS... that's usually what has worked for me... in the end, I always talk first, but that makes you think you could have saved A LOT of time. But then again, without time, you aren't in the position to talk first.
And think if this is about the silliest thing (non - important)
@StarBright (2798)
• United States
25 Apr 10
It is true that we sometimes hurt the ones we love. However, that hurt should never be intentional and as soon as we know we have caused pain to a loved one, we should do everything in our power to fix it.
Our goal in life should be to never hurt anyone, especially a loved one. We should only want the best for each other. Sometimes we have to learn how to treat each other so as not to hurt each other. When two people love each other and only want the best for each other, they can usually work it out - either together or with counseling.
If we find that someone we love does not have our best interest at heart and they continue to hurt us without regard for our well-being, then, maybe, we need to love that person from a distance. I am not saying that you will love that person any less. It is simply a matter of self-preservation that says you must distance yourself from intentional hurt and pain.
I hope I do not offend you by quoting one of my favorite bible verses that I believe defines love: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
@fansilawobuzhidao (47)
• China
1 May 10
Actually,the define of love is so nice and make me think so much.This is true for everyone.Thank you my friend.
@pratheep87 (1227)
• India
25 Apr 10
Hello
Sometime i too have been hurt by the people i cared so much. I feel so bad cant express the feel when the people i care hurt me. But i will soon forget the problem and then also i will show the true care on them.
Cheers
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
25 Apr 10
I think the best way to deal with feeling hurt by a person is to try to pick yourself up and carry on doing all the things you would normally do aswell as doing the things that you enjoy doing.I think that there have been alot of times when i have felt hurt and the way to carry on is to keep yourself busy so that you do not think about any of the things that have hurt you.
@caliya (1169)
• Philippines
25 Apr 10
What a coincident that you asked. I am actually in pain right now. Human as we are when we are in the peak of anger we can't help but hurt the one that we love sometimes. I am not the type who holds a grudge and I can easily forgive and forget but there are times that I wish I am not sensitive enough to feel the pain because it really hurts.
