Wedding Ring for Donation
By eurekafemme
@eurekafemme (5877)
Philippines
April 26, 2010 3:56am CST
I am thinking of donating my wedding ring to a worthy couple.
I know what you are thinking.But I guess this is the right thing to do. After all, there is no reason why I should wear it. Don't get me wrong. I am a person who values things regardless of their monetary value especially when it is a gift from a special person or it is associated with a memorable event in my life. And my weeding ring is one of my most cherished possessions.
However,my husband doesn't see the importance of our marriage and our relationship (been ranting it here). He simply misplaced, threw or lost his wedding ring which gives me an awkward feeling to wear mine now.
Since my union with him turned sour, my ring doesn't deserve me anymore. I feel that
I should give it to a couple who knows what really love is and would stand by each other for better or for worse, indeed.
The ring doesn't cost much but to a man who can't afford to give his wife a wedding ring, I think it is going to be priceless.Besides, my ring means a lot to me. It wore the bittersweet memories I had with my partner...
It is my way of saying goodbye...
6 people like this
23 responses
@laniekins (4579)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Are you legally separated? Because if so then I guess giving it to others who needs it is much good idea than wearing or storing the ring. But if not and you are still together with your husband despite of your on the rocks relationship, I suggest do not put it away. You can give him a second chance, just talk seriously. But if your are not together anymore then that is the time to let go. Btw, does the wedding ring bears the name of your better half at the back?
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Hello, Laniekins.:-)
No, our wedding rings don't bear our names. We didn't purchase a made to order ones. we just went to the mall and saw those rings and viola! he bought it.
We are still very much living under the same roof and still calling each other "Hon". We have been in a topsy turvy kind of relationship for years now and it seems that wearing the rings doesn't feel right anymore. What it represents then doesn't seem to exist now.
I am giving him a second chance and I am trying to be civil to him but I want to move on. Parting with my ring would free me from the memories of the painful past...
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
It will make me feel better seeing my ring worn by a woman who is dearly loved by his husband despite of her flaws and imperfections. Something that I had wished for myself. Sigh....
I know the consequence and I'm ready for it...Or he would simply ignore it. Whatever, I can live with it now. :-)
@laniekins (4579)
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
If it would make you feel better, it's up to you. But never forget that in every action there are consequences, whether good or bad you have to be ready for that.
@achilles2010 (3051)
• India
26 Apr 10
Your husband has lost or misplaced the ring has made you unhappy because you still love him, though you refuse to admit. Somewhere at the back of your mind you want him back, as he was. If you donate the ring away you will lose the only hope of winning him back. If you don't want to wear it then don't, tuck it away somewhere where you can find it always, may be if the things turn better. Think the ring is your lucky charm.
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
There were times in the past that I tried to return the ring to him but he refused to accept it. Thus, I've no choice but to wear it again since he is still wearing his and we're still together (and of course,the ring often gives me the nudge to give the relationship one more chance).
I don't think he is even bothered to see that I am no longer wearing his ring.This guy cares for nothing except himself and those he is interested with.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Hello, Achilles.:-)
I must admit that I am unhappy because he lost it and that he did not even bother to look for it. You knew already the rest of my story, that ring was the only reminder that I had married someone that I had loved so much.
As a matter of fact, every time I want to give up on him, i just have look at my kids and the ring to give me a little strength to bear with him some more patiently.
I don't think both me and my husband would want to win each other back. Because if we do, we should have worked on it long time ago...
I've placed the ring in the box, though.
@achilles2010 (3051)
• India
26 Apr 10
Between you, two one of you will have to take the first step. Here you are waiting for him to take the first step, and there he might be thinking the same thing. Since you have placed the ring in the box, you have taken the first step. Let us see now what he does. Until now, he was indifferent because he was very confident that you are secure within the boundaries of the ring he gave you. When he does not see the ring, this would shake his confidence. This is what I presume. Hope my presumption is right.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
26 Apr 10
yeah its sad about your husband, i think what you want to do is cool.
you have to follow your heart and go with it
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
It is a sad thing, Syankee. But what to do with my ring when the man I exchanged vows with it doesn't wear his anymore? Isn't it good to just let go than to keep on clinging to it when there's really nothing to hold on to?
If only I have a better option. I'd still love to keep the ring with me. But what for? All is lost...
@angelajoy (1825)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
I think you're doing the right thing. If I were you I'd probably do the same thing for someone important to me. If your wedding ring doesn't mean anything anymore, it would be nice to give it to someone who would give meaning to it again. Maybe this is now the right time to finally say goodbye to your marriage. I haven't read all of your posts, but I read one where you said your husband forgot your anniversary. I think if a man forgets something as important as that, then it doesn't mean much to him.
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Hello, Angelajoy.:-)
My ring still means so much to me. However, I don't think I should still keep on wearing it or keep it with me. I have been using that ring as a reminder of how I used to love the man who gave it to me, thus marrying him with all my heart and soul.
Now that he lost his and showed that he simply doesn't care (he did not even bother to look for it), it made me realize that along with the lost ring all is lost, too....
He forgot the wedding anniversary but by miracle he remembered after some days after and gave me a silver ring as a gift...
@dksemke (65)
• United States
27 Apr 10
It looks like the general sentiment is the same as mine - that making a gift of your wedding ring to another couple is not such a good idea for a number of reasons. Another-from the man's point of view....you are giving him the ring to give his finance. Poor or not, this is something HE should choose for her so that it reflects his taste and thought. What was meaningful to you will have no real meaning to anyone else. Your heart is certainly in the right place but your ring has saddness attached to it. If the ring means a lot to you it is because your marriage means, or meant a lot. If you want to use your ring in a symbolic "goodbye" to your marriage, I have a thought for you. Take the ring to a jewelry maker and have him melt down the metal and use it to create a little piece of jewelry, incorporating the stone, to use as a pendant to wear with a gold or silver chain. Make it some sort of symbol of a new beginning and a new chance to find a lasting love. Something like that. Give it new meaning that is hopeful.
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
That sounds reasonable, Dksemke. Thank you for providing me such idea. But changing the appearance of this piece of metal doesn't change the memories it has held for such a long time. I might have it remolded but still it will always remind me of the ring and thus the sad ending of a relationship. Letting go of it by donating it will make me completely forget everything and I can move on the way I want to.
After donating it, I can replace it with a new ring as a symbol of new life and new hope. :-)
@sofabnnn (109)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Are you sure about this? I don't need to know how you are feeling right now. But giving away a symbolism for a special union must have hurt you a lot. Don't rant over those things maybe it's just a test, an obstacle in a relationship which we all have(or who am i to say this to you I'm not even married. Well, I hope whatever decision you'll be making, you have to stand for it. I hope all will be better for you soon! =)
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
I tried to return the ring back to him months ago but he refused to accept it. I'm not worthy to keep on wearing it since he made me feel unworthy of him and the relationship, too.
Recently, he lost his ring and did not even bother to look for it as if he doesn't care if it is lost. It'd be more understandable if he just give his ring to me as well (I'll accept it), than treating it like a piece of garbage...
I believe that once it is done, it is done, so I have to stand and live with it.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
this is so sad... i know you are still working things out (probably) with your husband right now... you could still save the marriage and your husband must be going though a difficult time(not saying that you are not) but lest is for you to understand him at this point... if you give up your ring and give it to other people... you would have already given up on your love.
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Hi there, Chiyosan.:-)
Yes, I know. Mine is not a fairytale thing... I am sad to think of it, too. If I am to associate everything about my husband to that ring, the more I feel the need to give it up. Not because I hate him so much but because it is just painful to see that what we tried to build years ago is crumbling down little by little.
I am so aware that he is also having a difficlut time because of this kind of relationship that's why I am taking the first move to set him free. Besides, he let himself free from wearing the only symbolic thing we have that the marriage truly exist. I am giving up, maybe...
@Naisan (215)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
hello, I guess all love stories does not have a happy ending..but you see your story is not yet an end.
you know, you shouldn't give your ring to someone else. its not being sentimental or holding on to something; but it has already been a part of you; love is never lost.
keep it; this is not yet where your story ends. Just have faith .and maybe one day you'll remember this ring..and wear it again...
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Hello, Naisan.:-)
The ring is a great part of me. This is the very first thing I received from him and of course, it was the symbol of my never ending loyalty and commitment to him and our life together. Not to mention the fact, that the ring mirrors how I used to love him so much...
I am resigned to the fact that our love story has come to a bittersweet ending.I will always remember the ring even if I am no longer wearing it. It was the only wedding ring I have worn, so how can I forget about it? I made a vow with it,too...
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
28 Apr 10
i have been following your stories about you and your husband. and i really feel sad that it is happening to you. 
anyway, i agree to that. it would make a lot of sense to just give the ring to someone that truly values marriage. 
anyway, i agree to that. it would make a lot of sense to just give the ring to someone that truly values marriage. @neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
29 Apr 10
i could have told you that. that it could probably lost somewhere out there and not within your place. i also fear that probably, another person is now wearing it. i guess, if he won't make any move to look for it or he won't tell you that he wanted a new one, you could probable go on with your plan to give yours to somebody who will accept it and you think deserves the ring. he will think that when he saw you not wearing your ring, you are fed up with your relationship.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
30 Apr 10
It has been almost two weeks now that I am not wearing my ring and probably he noticed it but not saying anything, anyway. I am pretty sure he wouldn't wish to wear another ring to replace the lost one.
If he were you, Neil, he'd probably think that way. But he is too self centered and too confident I will change my mind and will always be here for him. He knows he have the aces (our daughters)...
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
You are not the only one who feel sad , Neil. I feel pained and brokenhearted thinking of giving my ring away. But what to do? Shall I ask my husband to buy himself a new one so I can wear mine again? The mere fact that he lost it and did not even bother to look for it is a clear indication that he doesn't want to wear his ring. You know what I was thinking? HE KNEW THE RING COULDN'T BE FOUND HERE IN OUR SMALL PLACE BECAUSE HE HAD LOST IT SOMEWHERE ELSE, thus, not giving an effort to look for it here....Call it paranoia but I just couldn't help thinking about it sometimes...
I don't deserve to wear a wedding ring but someone out there does...
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
This is really sad to hear. I thought you were just giving the ring out because your not that materialistic and not sentimental at all just and you wanted to help people. But the main reason that a woman is decided to give up the ring is mainly because of the relationship and there's a heavy reason for it.
Why? what happened to your husband? you said that your husband misplaced? lost? or throw, which is which? if he lost it, he can still buy you a new, but if he throws it for a reason, then what is the reason behind? You said your union turned sour already. I know I have lots of questions here but if there was a problem with your relationship with your hubby, it is only between the two of you that can resolve it without putting that ring into charity right?
I still wish you positive things and that relationship can be still fix while you both can without pride or blaming each other. You have once loved each other, is there anything else left for you both.
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Hi Strawberrychocodahi.:-)
I feel sad thinking about it, too. Even if I am not materialistic and sentimental I will not give up the ownership of that ring . A wedding ring is something to be keep and considered as priceless.
I'm not sure if he just misplaced it or threw it somewhere, thus lost it. He would often take it off. Several times, I saw it scattered on the floor. Recently, he was asking our 3 year old daughter where she had put his ring. Of course, my girl wasn't able to give him an answer. The thing is, he did not even bother to look for it.
He will never buy himself a new wedding ring unless he will be marrying another woman. My ring does not cost him much, in fact it was a cheap silver wedding ring but I don't mind because it was my wedding ring.
Giving my ring to a couple who love each other truly will give me peace. If my union didn't work out, at least, the ring will have its happy ending. Crazy? Maybe....
1 person likes this
@hagirl (1295)
• United States
30 Apr 10
You are right some men do not value the cherished wedding ring as much as we wives do..... Have you talked to your husband about this? He may get very upset then again it may be a eye opener for him if you tell him the way you really feel and the reasons behind it.... If you tell him these reasons and it does not wake up your marriage it may not be able to be woke up.... I wish you all the best in your decision
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
30 Apr 10
I haven't told him anything nor I have asked him about his ring. But once I found the perfect woman to donate my ring to, I will surely tell him...
I don't think there'll ever be any action that I'll do that will open his eyes to make the relationship work...
Thank you for responding, Hagirl.:-)
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
2 Dec 10
It breaks my heart that your marriage did not last as you planned that it would. However, I think that your idea of donating your wedding ring to a couple that is planning on getting married but can't afford rings of their own is a wonderful idea. I know that your ring holds a lot of sentimental value to you and you are right that giving it to someone else so that they can build their own memories around the ring is a beautiful idea.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
3 Dec 10
Hello, Dorannmwin.:)
It is a shaky marriage, dear , but until this very minute , husband and I are still together as a couple but we're just having an "ok" relationship. :(
The ring, as how I originally plan to get rid of it was also lost. I'm not sure how and when exactly but when I look for it, it was no longer there in its container. I searched for it all over the place but I just couldn't find it.:(And I feel so bad about it, bad and sad....
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
27 Apr 10
I tried to pawn mine after my divorce five years ago. I'm glad I didn't...even though he's gone-I will always have the rings to remind me...
but what you're thinking of doing is still very considerate and awesome and praise worthy still...give it some thought..only you can choose.@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
Even if my relationship is an ill fated one, I've no intention of pawning the very thing that reminds me of the bittersweet memories my husband and I shared for almost 5 years. It is a precious one and I cherish it so much...
I'd rather see it on another woman's finger where it will have a deeper value and substance. May be I just want to rejoice with whoever that woman would be. Even just through that I can partake for the real love and commitment...
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
30 Apr 10
For me, it was indeed the loveliest thing I've ever worn. Love was the reason why I wore it and I believe that love should still be the reason why it has to be kept worn even if the wearer isn't no longer me...
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
28 Apr 10
I think it's a beautiful thing and shows that love still exists in this world
@caliya (1169)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Reading your post breaks my heart. If you feel that this is a right thing to do then you can go ahead and do so but I have this feeling. Your relationship turned sour so if I were in your place I would rather not donate it to another couple. I would rather sell it and the proceeds will go to the charity or the church.
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Hello, Caliya.:-)
I know how heartbreaking this may sound to most of my respondents here. But don't be too sad about it. I am just giving it a new life. It is like a symbol for my getting a new life. My ring is valuable to me, in fact it is too precious for me and I wouldn't replace it with anything more valuable than it despite of its inexpensive value.
You made me smile with your suggestion. I can't sell it because it doesn't cost much really.:-)If it costs a thousand bucks I'll probably pawn it so if ever I'll change my mind I can easily redeem it.LOL
Seriously, no. I'd rather give it as what it is and for what it truly represents.
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
27 Apr 10
Hi Eurekafemme, is there a chance to rekindle your marriage and your relationship with your husband. Is there a third party involved? If not,not all is lost. Pray! I just hope that you and your husband consider counselling sessions and thus you can talk out what is wrong in your marriage to fix it out. I do admire your noble gesture. You seem let down by your husband but dont give up for now.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
I'm not sure, Ronaldinu...
He isn't involve with a third party, that is having a relationship but he is sure flirting with a third party (I'm not sure, though if he is serious with this).
Oh, counseling is far from our mind. He will not admit that he is doing something wrong and thus, ignoring something like this which he'd often tell as nonsense.
Sometimes, I am thunking that maybe I am just overreacting to his behaviors....
But my decision of giving the ring to someone else is not overreacting for his negligence in taking care of his wedding ring. Why should I keep wearing mine when he lost his and showed that he simply doesn't care by not looking for it?
He had hurt me enough in the past. I will not let him insult me further...
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
27 Apr 10
That is wonderful. There is a couple out there who Love each other dearly but can't afford a ring. You donating it will make their special day complete! Brava! What a great thing you are doing.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
Thank you, Sarahruthbeth. :-)
Even if my love story didn't have a happy ending, at least, my ring will go to someone who has been blessed with a worthy husband...
It will make me feel better knowing that my ring is being worn with love and pride...
1 person likes this
@hmkoct5 (2065)
• United States
27 Apr 10
It sounds like a very thoughtful and noble thing to do. It also sounds like you have been hurt badly by the one you love. I am sorry that has happened to you. It is never easy to feel that way. If you really think it is the best thing to do, then I believe you should donate your ring. I'm sure it will be cherished by the couple who accept it. I hope everything works out for you and that you are able to feel the love you deserve one day.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
I was trying to be really patient and understanding to my husband. He had hurt me several times but I have the heart to forgive him and had rather let go of the pain memories. However, seeing that the ring was lost and he did not make an effort to look for it, he has hurt me again.
Call it stupidity over a cheap silver ring but the ring holds the bittersweet memories of the past that we faced together. The ring reminds me not to give up on him and our life together.
Now that his was gone, I don't see any reason why I should wear mine. I'd rather see the ring to another woman's finger who can give it more value to what it truly represents: a never ending vow of commitment and love to the man she married...
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
That is precisely what I was thinking when I started thinking of donating the ring. The "beneficiary" will be someone who is worthy to wear it.
Parting with my ring is a painful decision but it is better than neglecting it. Plus, my husband will have his absolute freedom now if I don't wear mine. It seems that the ring is the ghost that often haunts him and terrifies him of the fact that he's a family man now and he has no right to fool around.:-)
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
Although we are not married yet, we have this couple ring, my boyfriend and I. We had the same issue of him not thinking of it as valuable. He often doesn't wear it, and I don't take it off. We fought about it a lot of times, and now I finally gave up on the issue.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
it is an understandable thing if your boyfriend is reacting such way. Especially if he's not ready yet to tie the bond. Seems like too early for him to see a ring on his finger.;-) Don't fret much. He is not oblige to wear it because he is just your boyfriend. :-)
In my case, he is my husband. Not wearing our wedding ring is an insult especially if you knew that it was missing and did not even bother to look for it. Giving a picture that the union is not as important as the ring... It is different when the thing is a symbol of a sacred vow of which you shared with someone you vowed to be with for as long as you live and no matter what comes your way...
@ada8may21 (2405)
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
I dont think its the right thing to do to give away your ring to the couple. Because what happen to your relationship would might also happen to the couple who is going to have your ring. This is actually the believe of some old people. Just like the wedding gown, dont wear the wedding gown that did not work on their marriage well.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
28 Apr 10
You mean, it could jinxed the relationship? I don't about such belief and I am not the superstitious type. Well, I should tell the husband about my love story then. It is his decision if he will accept my ring and give it to his wife...
Thank you for such warning. i don't want to pave way to a disastrous marriage just like mine...
