"How are you?"

engrdng06 I have often wondered why we automatically say oh fine when maybe we feel sick as a dog, so I have started being a little more honest and if I am tired I will say I am okay but really tired, or I would be fine but have an upset tummy, after all the person did ask how I was, and that really was how I felt at that particular time.but again I do not think unless the person is close to you you need to give a blow by blow of how you really feel. I know my hubby did this once to a lady who we cou ld see cared less about how he was.He stared out well I have a headache. and my tooth is hurting, my chest is sore, and I am having heart palpitations but other than that I...where are you going? She had turned red and hurried to her car. we both broke down laughing.

I think there's nothing wrong with it and I don't even find it unusual because that's the standard answer to such a simple question. But if you ask me and I am not in the right mood or I am having a bad day then I will certainly answer you with the truth like I'm not okay I am in a bad mood today. I guess children answer what comes next to their mind or what they remembered saying all the time. It has been taught in school so it might stuck in there. Anyways...when they grow old they might change that habit just like me.

because you ask in english! i supposed that is not your native tongue, normally children are not good in expressing themselves, add with language barrier you get a scripted answer, besides you question is too scripted/typical as well, why not ask them a more specific question coupled with concern attitude. you look nice, i bet you have a good night sleep? and so on. sometimes we only got answers to the way how we throw questions.

I think even people who ask this question don't mean it. If someone asks me that, I always say "Not so fine". They feel obliged to ask, why and then I tell them. Of course they don't want to hear all this. So to keep others free from your vows, simply answer "fine, thanks!"

Yeah, it seems to be routine. There are times when I am asked that, I want to have a different response. However, I never really do. My brain always engages on autopilot and I use the stock response of "I am fine" or some variation, when someone asks me that question. I think our minds are geared to work that way for some odd reason. It just seems to go that way every single time that question comes up. I think that is because that is just the easiest way for a casual, passing conversation. The easiest thing in the world to ask. Just like the response is the easiest one. I mean, it is one where there is little elaboration needed. The question is asked and then answered. We both move on with our days. There is really not that much needed. It is very much a stock response in the end.

i guess it's because "how are you?" has become just like a greeting much like "hello" and nobody really expects to receive a real answer about how the person is. the same goes for "how are you doing?" it seems people don't really want to know.

the main reason is that for example if u see any of u r best friend when she is in trouble at that time if u ask her how are u..she ll automatically say i am fine..thats becoz she doesnt want to involve u in any of the trouble she is having,..n when u hear her sayin i am fine..u will be very happy to know her presence

maybe they say the wrong answer because that question became kinda boring and you use it daily. It's just like you say for example "Good evening" and it's raining outside and ofcourse the evening is not good then.

I think it became a routine question so people give a routine answer. I also answer "I'm fine". Sometimes because the question is routine, sometimes because I just don't want to talk about my worries and prefer to talk about something else. How do you answer that question?

No, people don't get the thought of the question. The place where I am living, people ask "How are you" instead of saying "Hello" or "Good morning/afternoon". So the question "How are you" just turned into a way of salute or to welcome somebody and the person who is doing this question isn't really interested in how do you feel. So even if you don't feel well, you just don't tell it, because you already know that the other person won't listen you. Everyday, I meet people who ask me 'how are you' and follow their way without awaiting my answer! So, maybe it is just an educational problem?

u think that " im fine " is wrong reply for that question....

Maybe it's just in your community or something, because it's not usually like that anymore. When I was in elementary school, when the teacher asked greeted us and asked us how we were, we would respond "I'm fine, thank you. How about you?" - that's because we were kids and that's what the teacher told us to say. I guess it's customary and "traditional", but I believe we've gotten over those days now. I believe it depends upon the people concerned if they are like robots who would respond based on tradition, lazy people who don't really want to say something else, shy people who don't feel like sharing what they're feeling, or those people who are really open and love talking. Anyway, I believe that now, the most common answer to that question is "I'm fine/okay/good. You?" But then again, it really depends upon the person asked on how she would respond to that. Whenever I ask my friends, they usually say that they're fine, then they proceed to tell a recent story or happening in their lives, so the conversation doesn't die there. Then they usually ask me the same question, and I also proceed to tell some of my own stories.

Is it something wrong with it, I never think about it before,

hello engrdng06 how are we i exactly don[t know how am i how was i when i was i was young i dont know what is it the nice question questioned by you the nice one which i would have liked to answer but i surely dont know how am i happy mylotting

The Question in point is just a formal address which most of us render while meeting each other. Actually there is not much a thing associated with it.

This is a very natural response I guess and people say it like clock work now! I know that I'm certainly guilty of this! I also think that by responding in this way it leads to a more indepth conversation possibly, it's like an ice breaker as they say! Of course there are other things that could be said initially! If someone is doing something practically then you could ask them about the task at hand and this would be classed as small talk I guess and small talk can take you a very long way in terms of communication. I don't see anything wrong with "How are you?" even though it may be nothing but a script. Andrew

I don't think there's something wrong with that. It's normal. People just don't want to share their problems to people cuz it'll just multiply without getting any solutions.

What is better manner instead of how are you?

There's nothing wrong with asking "how are you?" and answering quickly as "I'm fine". As for me, it becomes as one way of saying hello to persons around you. And since, sometimes you're just passing by the person, or there are time limits of chatting, so it's the shortest way to let the others feel your presence, and vice versa to make him/her feel you recognize and care for him/her. It's just one form of being polite, so no big deal. happy mylotting!

Well some of them dont even know how to epress how they feel or some of them dont even understand nor speak in english thats why their answers are all scripted,