Guy-girl friendships
By lucyland
@lucyland (54)
Canada
May 3, 2010 9:30pm CST
So I have had a few of problems with sustaining my male friendships. I find that as much as I think we have an understanding that the friendship is platonic, either our signals will get crossed or something. Next thing I know, I get reactions ranging from one of them trying to kiss me on a night out, or asking me out, or I've even gotten a lengthy letter of...strong emotion.
I know I'm friendly, but in most cases, I try to make it very clear that things are only on a friendship basis. I even joke about them being like a brother to me and that anything further would be really weird.
So I guess I'm asking two things: a) can guys and girls truly be just friends? And if so, b) any tips on keeping things platonic? Not getting the signals mixed?
Because I really do love my guy-friends.....in a just-friends capacity.
5 responses
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
4 May 10
a platonic relationship may be possible if the girl is not good looking but if you're a looker then i doubt it. Guys who want to be your friend will always have that hidden agenda, they may try to be a friend at first long enough to let your guard down but sooner or later he'll tell you the hidden agenda later on. In the end it's up to you to decide. If you really feel that there's nothing special then the guys will understand.
@lucyland (54)
• Canada
4 May 10
Oh this hasn't happened with ALL of my guy-friends. There are the ones where all the boundaries are understood, just like BettyBOOSH. To be honest, I only started having this problem when I moved to Ireland for school. In Canada, I never really had to think about it at all. But I see both of your points, I guess it really depends on the guy.
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
5 May 10
@ lucy, maybe you have the x factor that made you such an attraction to your male friends but at the end of the day it's really up to you to decide. Don't take their advances negatively since male are made this way, to pursue women that attracts them. You just have to clearly set the boundary.
@prateek149 (590)
• India
4 May 10
I think a guy and a gul `can be frens!! i have a gul who is my best fren but not GF u know i mean we are not in relationship. we are jus fren and we share a lot!! I dont know your friend.. they sud not act like dat!! if he was ur real fren then he sud not act like that..sorry if i hurt u..but there sud be a good understanding !!chill out
@advokatku (4033)
• Indonesia
4 May 10
Sometimes in friendship between men and women, very possible there change status. Begin from sense of friendship can switch over status became lover relationship. This cause there the feel of secure (comfortable) which is a component of the needs of affective (feeling) of men and women.
We can not deny that The good feeling emotionally well because there is a sense of attention, affection and little things that are not derived from others heartbreaking for someone to turn friendship into lovers. Moreover, any logic in terms of feel connect. This means, to communicate and discuss with current
@ryvillanueva (68)
• Philippines
4 May 10
Hello.. I think what you need to do is to be honest with them that you like them as your friend and nothing more than that. It happened to me way back then i have a guy friends and they both like me.. and they are both close to me.. One of them hesitated to court me because it is clear to him that i love him as a brother and respected that.. the other guy i think got the wrong signal.. that's why when he confronted me and told me his feelings what i did is tell him that i consider him just a friend and no more than that.. and i told him that in a very nice way.. Lucky for me he understood and until now we're friends.. =)
