How do YOU make friends?

i make my friends from plasticine.

When I am in my deepest depression I don't know how to make freinds. I don't reach out and I don't care to be bothered. I am not easy to know or to be friends with. I am not a very social person. For the most part I don't care for people much. They are a selfish, self absorbed and shallow bunch in my estimation.

Hello Owlwings I am very careful as I have been hurt to many times by so called Friends I also find that I am a lot closer to my Online Friends, I speak to quite a few of them on the Phone and most of us have things in common I find it easier talking to my online Friends then my so called Friends, who where only Friends when they where able to control me and when they needed something

i

I think that our friends list here at myLot is rather weird. I don't actually "know" anyone on that list until I follow their discussions for a while and or see them responding to mine. It's only when I have begun to know someone and built some rapport with them that I feel as if their is a friendship there. To me, a friend is a kindred spirit. It's someone you like, know, care about, trust, who has your back and your ear and vice versa. I really cannot handle these sites where total strangers pop up out of the blue and want to be your friend....how about a "you seem interesting - I'd like to get to know you" list? I've had dozens of on-line friends who have simply disappeared into the ether without a word of goodbye. I'm pretty much over it now and I don't believe in online friendships at all. I'm sure most of these people are genuine in the off line world but online, so called "friends" are a dime a dozen. I don't participate much in Facebook but I do have an account there and was much perplexed by people I did not know asking for my friendship on the grounds perhaps that we had friends in common. When the opportunity arose to join a group called something like "Don't ask to be my friend unless you actually know me", I quickly joined and was then inundated with friendship requests from strangers....now tell me that's not very weird. I'm a friendly, outgoing person and I can start up conversations with anyone. I consider myself an honest and genuine person but I find making friends, true friends, a very difficult thing to do.

I'd say there are people I know, many. People I like, some. People who like me, some. People I am close to, few. And people I would do almost anything for, family and few friends.

I make friends easily...the kind....someone 'I know'....and most of them 'I like'. But to be my really 'god friend', it takes a while. I need to know the person longer and at a deeper level...see them handling different situations (not just hear about it)...and also experience how they react to other people especially their own family before I can consider that person a good friend. Even then, their wavelength needs to mine atleast half way. Not all my good friends share the same wavelength but we can relate on some point and we accept each other for who we are. There are very few friends like that...that I have. On Facebook, I don't accept anyone who just request....it's usually for family and friends. But on myLot, I do add anyone who asks...but they are not all included (a few are)in my list of friends 'I know' or friends 'I like'. I hardly know most of them.

Someone I know stands for people you know, not only acquiantant but you have spend a day with them, hang out with them and even shared little secrets with them. Someone I like is not only for crushes, but someone i like to hang out with, someone I like to be together with, someone whos attitude is fit to my attitude, someone who is nice to me and do the same treatment. Someone who likes me are those who treat me nice and special. Someone I prepared to accept as a friend in Mylot or Facebook because they asked, well in this part it depends on us if we reject them or not, because me I do not reject invitation

I am impossibly introverted and mostly people have to make a little extra effort to get to know me. But once they get past my brick wall, that's different. And I'm going to be difficult and not use your categories. I accept all online friend requests pretty much. Some of those people end up being "true friends", ie where both of us feel some kind of a connection and make an effort to get to know one another and keep in touch and so on. Others are more like acquaintances where either it's more one sided, or we sort of just casually keep in touch. And then there's everybody else...

Apparently I am an easy person to be friends with because I have several people who fit the category of 'someone who (unaccountably, perhaps) likes me. This discussion brings up an interesting thought though. I have often pondered over the fact that mylot refers to any connection as a friend connection. I don't really think that is appropriate. I have quite a large number of "friends" on my list here on the lot because I accept anyone who takes the time to request me. However, there are only a few core people that I have come to know somewhat and share interests with. These are the ones I consider my friends, all the rest are just casual contacts. Don't get me wrong I appreciate all of these contacts and I never know when one of them will develop into a friendship. I just think it takes time to develop and applying the term friend to someone you just met either online or in the real world takes away from the value of the word.

I try not to make new friends because I found out when I was younger that all along you think they are your best friend or even considered a good friend and it might take you 5 years and then they turn on you like a doberman and just take a complete u-turn from being your good or best friend to your enemy so I keep the friends I have had at childhood the ones I know won't do any wrong, and my family won't turn on me as well that is what I feel about friends in life. And as for on line it is so nice to have friends here you can chat with and have things in common to chat about I am a very outgoing person so I really enjoy talking and meeting people, I am always open to accept people as my friends here on my lot I enjoy this site very much!!!

dear owlwings, i easily get friends anywhere. but of course there are different intensities. old friends and those that i have been with for a long time are already trusted friends. could be both online and real life. there are new acquaintances, people you can talk about topics and that would make you forget boredom. some people who wants to be your friend, am open to them. why not? friends in my lot, they are precious. i sometimes feel the sincerity of the care even if i have not seen them nor known them personally. have a nice day. ann

Hi Owlwings, most of the friends I found to be good and reliable in my life are the ones who gatecrashed on me. So I too do the same in others lives, who knows I might find the kind of person with whom I will get on really well. :) Online friendship and real life friendships are different because I know only the selected side of the person! The person is hardly going to show me how much of a demon he or she can be (not everybody anyways) nor am I. :) Even if I do, there is every possibility that my online friend has not come across that bit of information and is presuming that I am a very sweet, kind, adorable, person. :) However there are ample positives to this friendship. My online friend is there to help me, guide me, and joke with me most of the time. Even if he or she is not there, I wont really hold it against him or her. The same thing with a real life friend can hurt! Then again if I lose an online friend, I dont shed as many tears as I shed when I lose a real life friend. That is because for some reason sentimental attachment is lacking! Chances of losing real life friend are more because we have high expectations and high standards which they cant afford to fall short of! Likewise, real life friends are more likely to take advantage of me than my online friends! :) These are the differences I noticed so far. :) As to making friends, in real life it is something to do with eye contact. :) Someone I know is somebody who has been in my life as a friend or relative or as a friend or relative of a friend or relative, or a colleague, or relative or friend of a colleague, a client, or a relative or friend of a client, or other business contacts! Someone I like is simply a person whose way of talking, expressing, or other behavior impresses me. I dont like anybody being hurt for no rhyme or reason, and I dont like digging others graves. I like loyal friends and people who are kind and generous. If I find a person behaving like that, I like that person almost instantaneously. Someone who likes me - I am still confused about this one. I have made quite a few friends like this, and they've become very reliable friends! I'd trust them with my life, even though it was not me who went around asking them to be in my life! I think they are my guardian angels. :) I am open to everybody as long as the person is sensitive enough not to hurt another person and thinks before he or she speaks. :) I dont like elders being disrespected either so if a person is like that, there is a good chance he or she is going out of that list. A good sense of humor is also absolutely essential. :)

hi, owlwings. i think i am easy to be friends with. when i meet new people who i want to make friends with, i try to break the ice. well, sometimes it doesn't work but i like doing so. i tend to make frineds with people who have the same interests. i am energetic so i love energetically doing something we like with my friends. actually i am quite new here, so i do not know much about my online frineds here. but we have mixi, a SNS in Japan, which doesn't pay, and i have a lot of friends there. most of the firnds there have turned my face-to-face friends. i prefer face-to-face relationships so if i have a chance i would like to meet people online and foster the friendships more. but even if the chance is so slim and i never meet the people, i do not think online frindships are just a fake. someone i like is, i hope, a friend of mine. but the others are not yet. once i get to like them, i try to make friends with them.

I learned to know Dale Carnegie in the 70s and I still have one of his books - Stop Worrying and Start Living. I have also read the book about making friends.. The person who introduced Dale Carnegie to me was a very good listener and she had read his book and followed the advice there. And yes, a person who shows interest in others becomes popular very easily. What can I say about my online friends? It is easier to become close friend to someone who shares the same interests and says some positive comments about our responses. Friendliness is a free gift that gives happiness to both the giver and the one who is the target for it..

I don't make friends easily. Even if people want to befriend me, they find it hard as I'm quite reserved. All the same, my friends (only a few) stumbled upon me by chance(?) and it didn't take us much time to have close friendship. Maybe I take friendship just too seriously. That's why many people who call themselves my friend are 'mere acquaintances' for me. They may feel hurt if I tell them so. I'm more open in online friendship (not sharing personal details though!) if it comes from some trusted zone, like myLot.. more free as I they are not too close. For me, if I like someone he/she has got to be my friend. That's for online strictly. I may accept them too if they asked, even if I'm not much inclined.

Hey owlwings! Great topic for discussion! I make friends pretty easily! People seem to "take" to me and find it easy to talk to me! But, as for "real and genuine friends", that is another subject! I don't trust easily and don't believe in people that quickly! I take my time getting to know and trust people in "real life" and on the "net"! I have been pretty lucky in both cases! I have some wonderful "real life friends" and some unbelievable internet friends" who in some case I have become closer to than my "real life friends"! I can't explain it, but after almost 3 years of being her I have found that some of the people I have met here are my "real" friends! I have friends that I "speak" to off the "Lot", by email and one wonderful and most special friend from across the ocean that I speak to on the phone and that to me is the most incredible thing ever! She is the the most special person ever to me and I can't ever imagine my life without her and pray that somehow, someday that we will be able to be together to hug in person! (I love you so Gabs & Gissi)!

I think I make friends easily.I never had any problems.I act friendly towards others,I like to be.I don't know if I'm an easy person to be friends with or not.No one says anything to me.

I think people find it easy to have me as a friend I am a good listener and easy to get along with. I am their friends but they are not mine. I find I have a ton of acquaintences but not very many real friends. It's not their fault I don't allow people to get close but most people don't mind. Friendship is such a selfish thing and not many people actually give back. I may have just been burned too many times. I have one true close friend and that is my husband. All of my myspace, facebook, and most other social sites are people I know or bands I like. Here on mylot I think I have two one of them just was my friend one day and the other is my husband lol. I have found mylot to be so therapeutic because I can share what I want when I want and noone has to pretend to listen or like it because if they don't they will either respond in honesty or move on without saying a word. It's like having TRUE honest friends without all the extra b.s. Who needs friends when you have mylot lol? I enjoy my time here and feel like this is the only place in my life where I can be 100% honest without knowingly hurting someone.

I am actually very lost on that. When I was at college a few years back, I was 25 and I met another girl o the same course as me who was also the same age. We happened to sit next to each other on the first day and we got talking and then gradually we sat next to each other everyday at the lectures and we began to meet up for dinner and go out in between the college classes. She used to help me write up notes when I was away from class and I would do the same for her. We would talk about boys, life, the future...then about 4 months into the college year she suddenly said to me ' you know, even when I choose to spend time with someone, go out, have dinner or go for a coffee, they're not necessarily my friend...' I was totally shocked when she said that, immediately I thought about what she was saying and I was thinking, was she trying to say that she didn't see me as a friend? And why? After all that time, you don't see me as a friend...? I was totally confused, and after that, ever since, I have been careful not to assume to quickly whether me and someone else are 'friends' even if we have been chatting and spending a lot of time together...it's a shame really...