hey friends i need help from u..please see and reply for same!!!
By vishkris
@vishkris (205)
India
May 8, 2010 2:21pm CST
hi my lot friends..i have a friend..he is very good person..very soft very very reserved..the problem is he is not speaking jovially..he is too reserved..i don know whether he is maintaining distance with everyone or naturally like that...when we or ask him he ll just reply..not more than that...if i start any topic to chat with him..he will end it....his relatives are also vexed with him..even i am ..but i don want my friend to be like this..do u have any this kinda reserved silent friend..did u do anything toi change him...i wanted to change my friend...gimme some ideas friend!!!
7 responses
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
9 May 10
It can be hard but really you can not change someone who does not want to change, best bet is to just try, and make an effort with this person to involve them as much as possible. That is all you can do, just reach out to them in every way. Also to let them know you care about them and knowing this they may just come to you on their own really. It is can be difficult but you have to be patient and also persistent. People sometimes just need time and a bit of patience before they can come out of their shell.
@marguicha (222999)
• Chile
9 May 10
Has he changed lately and that´s why you are worried? Or has he been always like that?
If he has changed lately, he might have a problem and you, as his friend, might reach him to help him. If he has always been like that, then you have the problem. If a person was born silent and introvert, he will not be changed. And there is no reason to change him, but to accept him as he is. If you don´t like him as he is, then you have to stop being his friend and thet´s all.
People don´t change. And if we love someone, we must love him for what he is and in spite of what he is.
I have asked myself many times: Would I be happy if a friend of mine told me I must change? NO, I wouldn´t. I would not consider him my friend anymore. I am what I am, like it or not. I have many friends and some are more introvert and some more extrovert. All of them have something special, but none of them fill all the needs of company I have. If I add what each one gives me, I feel blessed for what I have.
Think of what you like of this friend. If you care for what he can offer, then be his frind. If not, let him go.
Take care!
@Brook909 (110)
•
9 May 10
I don't know why you know he is a very good person by"if i start any topic to chat with him..he will end it".So i suppose it's his natural character according to your description about him.If this way,it's no problem to communicate with him,as you know language is just a tool to communicte,it may not be better if you speak more than the one speak a few.So we talkative people must learn to respect someone who is reserved.OK?
@hutchdumali (20)
• Philippines
9 May 10
your friend doesn't have a problem. most people think that just because a person doesn't talk or talks a little in conversations there must be someting wrong with him/her. maybe he/she just isn't the type to talk a lot, some person just wants to listen. it isn't becausr they are shy either, they just don't speak a lot of words. try to make him/her comfortable by involving him/her in the discussions.
@mygothic13 (7)
• Philippines
8 May 10
ask him something about himself.. like his fav food, movies etc.. the you can start a topic.. just talk to him very often..
@Lazzer007 (53)
•
8 May 10
Some people are simply introverts, they are not comfortable talking to other people or simply don't want to. However many introverts are comfortable talking online, MSN, chatrooms etc.
Some of the patterns can also be set when you're about school age, how was he in school. Was he bullied for example in school, had difficulty making friends, just simply being that age many people can find it hard. You are trying to deal with many thinks, figuring out stuff, finding your way but some people end up taking things or being affected by things more than the others.
Does he have image issues for example, or anything else that can hamper self esteam. If its a self esteam issue you can try getting his self esteam up, build his confidence. He can have trust issues that doesn't completely trust everyone. Most important thing is not to push him.
So first thing basically is he naturally introvert or its actually an issue stopping him opening up. Not to mention even if he is cool chatting, talking etc doesn't necessaraly mean he will become a jolly person. Not everyone is.
First thing obviously to do is find out what he likes his interests etc. Then go to movies, games etc. Join a club do something together, for example martial arts it'll build his confidence. Once his comfortable around you introduce to someone else you feel comfortable with and then help your friend become comfortable. Slowly and slowly he'll deal with his issues and start becoming comfortable around other people. Dealing with his issues.
Let him know your his friend and want best for him.