Wedding reception hold on there!
By bdugas
@bdugas (3578)
United States
May 12, 2010 12:54am CST
My best friend is getting married this month, that is great and I am happy for them, they have been seeing each other for many years and have recently moved in together into his home. Now they are having a reception later this month, but one problem, she said there is around 100 people coming, the problem is her daughter is putting on this reception for them. Sounds ok so far, well I got a call said it was going to be pot luck, everyone was to bring a covered dish. When I ask how this came about, she said her daughter has no money to buy food for this reciption. Ok, so we all bring a dish, now I am told that I should bring drinks, and chairs, so I am going to a reciption where I have to bring my own food, my own drinks, and my own chair, then was ask if I still had the divided paper plates that is in the closet could I bring them too.
What is the daughter doing hosting a reciption that she has no money to do anything for it. I don't mind bringing a covered dish, I bought a ham, had it sliced into slices that I could make sandwiches with, and about 5 packages of different cheeses, and making a big bowl of potato salad. But can't get anyone else to say what they are bringing, my daughter will do a vegetable plate, but how many of them will there be. Wouldn't it be easier to know what each is bringing so she don't end up with 5 platters of the same thing.
I just think it funny that the daughter is hosting this affair, but has no money to do anything for it. It is out side and I am praying that it don't rain, will me a mess with 40 kids in the house. Has anyone else come across this kind of a affair and did it work out good, did everyone bring some thing different. I wanted her to let me host it and I would fo paid for the food I figure I could of made the plates for about a $100.00. And would of been my gift to them. But she insists her daughter wants to host it. What do you think of all this.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
12 May 10
What do I think?
Can't they find someone to borrow tables and chairs from? My cousins arranged for my parents an anniversary party and borrowed tables and chairs from our Fire Department that my parents and my cousins both belonged to.
Aren't there some people who don't cook? A some of them could buy paper plates, cups, and napkins. 3 or 4 people could bring drinks by buying a couple of cases of soda each. All 100 people do NOT need to bring food.
What is the daughter's definition of hosting? Organizing? Arranging? Even that, she seems to be having difficulty.
Small pot luck's, I've seen people all bring desert. Large ones like that, usually there is variety. But asking each person what they will bring so some people who call and ask, "What do you need?" could get an answer. Maybe no one is bringing bread or rolls and butter, then she could answer with that. Maybe someone would ask what kind of salad do you need? We have 2 people bringing pasta and 2 bringing potato, so fruit salad or tossed salad would be fine. If she doesn't keep track, she can't answer what is needed.
Many people now-a-days can't afford money for a reception. But their pot luck organizing skills are better than this. Or they have a brunch or just desert or just appetizers.
If you're bringing chairs, drinks, and food, you will have to make two trips to your car because you only have 2 hands. Someone needs to at least come up with tables and chairs. Is everyone bringing their own entertainment, too? The more you ask people to bring, the less likely they are to bring a gift. Also, the more things people are likely to forget.
@bdugas (3578)
• United States
13 May 10
Tehy got 9 tables from the church, but they wanted $75.00 for 25 chairs that is too much for 25 chairs, or at least I think so, hell we aren't running off with them, the daughter knew when she started this that she had no money for the food or drinks, I am waiting to see what she brings besides her hubby and 4 kids, bet won't be food. I have wanted and did mention this to the bride but she said her daughter is hosting it so I just shut up, my hubby said if he is ask to bring one more thing he isn't going, especially after I said I would do it the cost to me. I feel like everyone jsut taking a meal what with food and drinks and a chair to sit at the table. Her daughter did make some flowers for the tables, but the bride bought the napkins and paper plates and silverware. All the daughter is doing is taking credit for something that everyone else is doing. Once again tonight I ask did she want me to do this it would be my gift to them she said no use making her daughter mad, so let them do what they want, I will eat what I bring and my daughter brings and say congradutation and probably come home early, most there will be his family, I know some of them. Doubt if I will stay long. No the daughter's organizing isnt' too good, after she said she was hosting but you bring the food she was done with it other than the flowers. I will discuss it with the bride when it is over maybe it will turn out to be a great day for them no matter what. Let's just hope it don't rain.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
12 May 10
Can you imagine the logistics of this?
My family had 6 people in it. If all 6 went, 6 chairs, 6 to 12 drinks, 6 plates, 6 cups, 6 napkins, plus food, we'd need a truck, not a car. My parents would have declined the offer or had to leave us home. Even two people, 2 chairs, 2 - 4 drinks, 1 pot luck thing.
Does this daughter have tables to put the pot luck items on?
The daughter should have volunteered to do something she CAN do. Make a centerpiece, borrow tables and chairs, something. Decorate the table or escort people from their cars, etc. Something she can do.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
12 May 10
Outside would require renting a tent. Which she also doesn't have $ for. There is not just rain to think about, there is also intense sunshine, some of us can't be out in the sun very long.
I had a friend who was poor and on disability. Her daughter was getting married for the 2nd time. She only offered to decorate by putting pink and white bows around. That is all she could afford. The decorations were beautiful. She even made a pink and white arch (as a surprise) for them to have pictures taken. when you volunteer to do what you CAN do, it is sooo much better.
Sorry I keep replying. I just keep thinking of more things. I arranged my own wedding and reception. My bridesmaid did the wedding shower. There are checklists out there, even for pot lucks. Sometimes I think people volunteer outside their means or abilities.
1 person likes this
@miranda521 (427)
• China
12 May 10
Why is your friend's daughter to afford this?I think the man should pay for their reception!In China, It is usually for man to do all of this!
1 person likes this
@bdugas (3578)
• United States
13 May 10
Yes ai think winter that it is that way all over America that the bride's family pays for everything, is that because they happy to get rid of her, hahahaha just joking. I truely think the cost should be split between both parties, would be so much better then maybe they could have a nicer wedding. Or more money for a nicer honeymoon.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
12 May 10
Let me qualify that, in my part of America.
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@miranda521 (427)
• China
12 May 10
Oh,in China,it's usually the groom's family afford the cost for a wedding.But with the life getting better,many bride's can take some money for their house and wedding.
I think it's good,because I am a girl.hehe But I have a younger brother, when he will marry a girl,our parents will spend a lot of money on that.
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
12 May 10
I've never heard of a wedding reception quite like this one! I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as everyone can afford to bring something but I do see your point about knowing what everyone else is bringing.
Whenever I've gone to a potluck affair, I was always told what was needed or what was already going to be brought by others. Generally, the person hosting the affair is a bit more organized that this gal seems to be. I think it's nice that she's offered her home or wherever it's going to take place but she really should be more organized about the food.
You could offer to make the food for this reception as your gift and see what her daughter thinks of the idea. If she likes it, it would be up to her to call everyone and let them know that the food issue is covered.
Whatever happens, I'm interested to see how it turns out. Please let us know, okay?
@bdugas (3578)
• United States
13 May 10
It is going to be at the home of the couple married, I offered to do the whole reception buy the food and bring the drinks, I think from what the bride said it would of been like cold cuts sandwiches and potato salad and hot dogs for the kids, but she said no her daughter wanted to do it, I am so hoping she dont' end up with a table full of the same thing, funny that no one wants to discuss what they bringing it like a secret of some kind. They got nine tables but the chairs was really too high to rent, so she ask that you bring a chair like a lawn chair to sit in.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
13 May 10
My guess is that either they don't know if they're going or not. If they don't want to discuss what they're bringing, they might not be going or they are trying to decide what to bring. I have a hard time with the little money I have figuring out what to bring to pot lucks these days. When people ask me very far ahead, I don't know. The guests for this have a lot to think about. Drinks, food, chairs, how to fit people and stuff into their cars. Many may be deciding not to go or whether or not they are going to go. Since the wedding is one day and the reception 4 days later, some may go to one or the other, but decide not to go to both. Most receptions are right after the wedding so people don't have to take 2 days off from work, esp. in this economy.
@jilshi (271)
• Malaysia
13 May 10
i am getting married early next year and i do not want such wedding reception like your friend. i used one year to prepare for my wedding and make sure everything in perfect. Wedding is only once in a life time and i think your friend should take seriously about her reception. and i think it is funny to bring own chair to the dinner, so truoblesome for the guest.
i understand how your friend feels when got no money to hold wedding reception. i will support her with whatever i can do. for example, make variety of dishes for her. and i will try to borrow a lot of chairs from neighbourhood. the most important is all friends get happy together and not concern on how delicious is the food. i hope everyone can enjoy the dinner.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
13 May 10
I agree, chairs are hard for people to bring with food, esp. if very many people in a family and if they have a small car.
@visalusha (131)
• Australia
13 May 10
Hi, I have not attended any reception which asked them to bring food and all.
Hope everything goes well and I will pray that there should be no rain.
But I think personally that they can arrange in a simple way with whatever they have without troubling others. If they pile up works to the guest then they may avoid the function.
Anything simple and enjoyable will be fine.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
13 May 10
Very true, keep it simple so people can have a good time.
@bdugas (3578)
• United States
13 May 10
I did not say a wedding ceremony I said a reception, 4 days later, I was wondering if any one else had been to such an affair. I am not hosting it, her daughter is, and can not buy any thing that goes with hosting it. Never mind don't think you would get it any way.
1 person likes this
@daliaj (5674)
• India
12 May 10
That is too much. I won't attend such a wedding reception, but sometimes you are forced to do since it is your best friend. I think it is totally crazy and nobody will conduct a reception like this. They can arrange for a very simple function if they don't have money. They should not make others do work for their wedding. Usuall parents pay for the wedding reception in my place. It is the guy's parents who usally pay for the wedding reception.
@bdugas (3578)
• United States
13 May 10
Well she is 55 he is 68 they have been going together for about 12 years, and all he wanted was a weddign in front of a justice of the peace. Her daughter decided on having the reception. Buthas no money to pay for any of what is needed, so she ask everyone to bring a covered dish. I think it would of been fine if it had ended at that, but to tell them to bring their own chairs and their own drinks, to me this was funny. Iguess you got the whole meal there. I have been to receptions before where everyone brought something. Maybe her daughter just wanted to get the whole family and friends together to celebrate that they finally tied the knot.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
12 May 10
I've never done anything like this, myself, and I hope it all goes well. I've never heard of a wedding reception where the guests had to bring food because the bride didn't have the money for it. I gueess it has happened, though.
@bdugas (3578)
• United States
13 May 10
Hello Cyrus do I know you, I think the daughter got in a bit too far over her head I don't mind bringing a covered dish, I bought a ham and had it sliced to make sandwiches and making a big bowl of potato salad, it just became funny when told to bring my own drinks and chairs. I am sure it will work out if everyone coming does bring something. Just wondered if anyone had encountered this before.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
13 May 10
No, we don't know each other because we never have met face to face. You gave me your email address one time and I have been forwarding you some emails. Also, I know you're on facebook because you have been sending me some things on farmville and the cafe game. Of course, we talk on mylot when you're here, too. I'm just a friendly person, anyway. I have been accused of being a little too friendly, though, lol
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