I have a crush on a 45 year old man!
By maezee
@maezee (41988)
United States
May 12, 2010 8:55pm CST
To put things into perspective, I'm 19. And this man is my father's age (OK - 4 years younger). He's a regular customer and he's just awesome. I find myself physically attracted to him as well as in awe of his success. He's a lawyer, owns his on firm, and is the most friendly, down-to-earth and flirtatious guy on the planet. I don't know HOW he does it, but he manages to get me talking..ABOUT MYSELF during every visit and all the while is gorgeous. Totally totally gorgeous. And he remembers my name, which is a plus. 
Now, I don't think too much about these things. But I thought it would be a funny discussion to start here on MyLot. I don't anticipate going out with him, doing anything skanky with him (haha..) or marrying the guy, but I have a little school girl crush. It's something about older men, I tell ya.
But me and a friend of mine were trying to analyze my psyche the other day - in regards to this situation. Does this mean I have daddy issues? (I don't think I do.. I like my dad!) or is totally normal to have a crush on a guy who's easily twice my age? (did I mention astonishingly gawgeous?) And another thing we brought up - what is wrong with him?! Can he not get women his own age? (Not to be mean - but you have to wonder sometimes why men flirt with chicks who could easily be their daughter's age).
Have you ever "acted" on a school girl/boy crush?
Now, I don't think too much about these things. But I thought it would be a funny discussion to start here on MyLot. I don't anticipate going out with him, doing anything skanky with him (haha..) or marrying the guy, but I have a little school girl crush. It's something about older men, I tell ya.
But me and a friend of mine were trying to analyze my psyche the other day - in regards to this situation. Does this mean I have daddy issues? (I don't think I do.. I like my dad!) or is totally normal to have a crush on a guy who's easily twice my age? (did I mention astonishingly gawgeous?) And another thing we brought up - what is wrong with him?! Can he not get women his own age? (Not to be mean - but you have to wonder sometimes why men flirt with chicks who could easily be their daughter's age).
Have you ever "acted" on a school girl/boy crush?1 person likes this
17 responses
@samson1967 (7414)
• India
13 May 10
So what if he his old, when the tamarind tree is old, will it loose its sourness. Old gentlemen are great lovers and good caretakers, if you are good and faithful, you can inherit all the property after his demise. No need to struggle in life to settle, as older men are already settled in their life. It is worth tasting oldmensdick.
@samson1967 (7414)
• India
14 May 10
The best solution is physical relation without marriage, atleast once, to crush out that CRUSH, completely. 
@systemtechs (1)
• Sri Lanka
13 May 10
According to my experience i think age gap is directly effecting a relationship which is kind of yours. How can a man double in your age can have a same mind as yours. It will be a family life of a father & daughter. Psychologically he is on a age of transferring.(From middle to mature).You are in front of your gate to step in to the complex world, which he has passed before 19 years. Now he cannot come to your
age(Physically & mentally). You can fast run to his stage but will get tired on the way. It is a big sin you are doing. Let him live his life, just ignore him. You can do it of course you are enough intelligent. In front of him act as a mother, call him son, let him be religious. Don't run away & don't get close. My dear this world is full of love & cruel. Chose right thing in the first time. wish you all the best.
@maezee (41988)
• United States
13 May 10
I am not sinning by thinking of these things! I am legal. 18 years is considered "legal", and I am 19 going on 20. I don't think that ADMITTING I am attracted to someone his age & stature is BAD or SINFUL. I probably won't act on it, but I wanted your opinions anyawy. Hmpph
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
13 May 10
Honey, you're 19 and a successful, intelligent, good-looking older man is flirting with you. What you have is hormones. Who wouldn't enjoy that kind of attention?
There is nothing 'wrong' with him; he is just being nice. He probably finds you to be a nice girl and may not even be conscious that what he does could be considered flirting.
Take it as flattery and don't give it another thought.
If he asks you out, that would be a different matter entirely.
@normze2010 (1)
• Uganda
13 May 10
Hi maezee, is this your name? anyway, my name is Norman and am 20 years, i'm in my first year at the university. Well, i am not saying that i know all about crushes, but i have had crushes on old women, probably my mum's age or slightly young but they are all trash, they are self-centred thoughts of lust and as a believer/ Christian, they are wrong. Humans are much more important than any other thing created and among the gifts that we possess, is a gift of self control, animals normally don't have this, that's why a bull sleeps with it's mother-cow or sister (i don't know if i am using the right kind of English here but i hope that you get my point!)
So if you get those thoughts about such an old man, they are usually bad intentions just, they are very normal but you don't have to be enslaved to them!
You are young and have a bright future ahead of you, make the right choices, i am just saying that one thing can lead to the other and by the time you know it, it's too late!
Take care my dear!
Norman
Uganda
@cocokitty (3)
• United States
13 May 10
I think it is normal i mean your not the only girl with a huge crush on an older man, you got to remember johnny deep almost 50 years old hehehehe. but i think its normal plus the fact your 19, by law you guys can get married and have kids. it would not matter. its how you feel and how he feels and what you both want. i see nothing wrong with it and you shouldnt let other people bug you about it or care what they think. your living in this world for you, not them =]
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
13 May 10
When I was a lot younger I did have crushes on older men. I'm not real sure why. I also was very close to my dad so i'm sure it wasn't the "daddy" issue. No, I never acted on these crushes. Most of these men were married or had girlfriends. Are you really sure that this guy doesn't?
@smallsaozhou (827)
• China
13 May 10
Many middle-aged people usually have some advantage compared with the young ,they are mature,sucessful and as what you have said,they are down-to-earth.I don't think age is a problem,if only you love the guy.
@pierone (1894)
• Italy
13 May 10
Really I can't say you anything about this iussue.
Probably should be better if you could talk with my wife. I'm 45 and she's 26 ;)
The good is her father is 10 year older than me ;)
Best wishes, and don't spend too much time in thinking. Just go on and see what will happens ;)
@EnglishTeaDuck (862)
• United States
13 May 10
I have to laugh at all these people saying 'go for it'....please! And I know you are not intending to, you said that. I don't think theres anything wrong with having a crush on an older guy.
I am 36 and my husband is 49, and though I thought the age gap was irrelevant when we got married - 'it doesn't matter if you love him' I do notice age related differences in what we want, how we are towards going out, that sort of thing - which sounds trivial but all these things build in to how you feel every day when you live with someone.
So at 19 - you are going to change in some ways, what you want may change, and you have loads of time to grow as a person. Being married or attached now, I would not tell ANYONE to get serious your age, to be honest. And then there is the point of why he is after teenagers! Actually its pretty obvious why men do that. A younger, prettier model, feeding their ego, doesn't have to work at a real relationship with someone his own age or whatever. Or if he is a decent guy, then what you see as flirting is probably him being friendly.
Again, I know you don't plan to act on this, I was just responding to those who were saying 'go for it, it doesn't matter'.
@allknowing (135322)
• India
13 May 10
Age is fine but my advice would be to find out more about him specially his marital status, whether he likes you the same way you like him. Unless these two issues are sorted out it would not be in your interest to encourage the feeling you have for him.
@rinzgca (316)
• Philippines
13 May 10
I think that attractions like this are normal. Well, not that normal, but I think, what matters is what you are going to do about the attraction. After all, it's normal to be in awe of such a guy. I believe that one of the most attractive aspect in a man is his stability, how he is dealing with his life.
His flirting could be just innocent. He's probably just like that. But on a negative note, if he's that successful and he's got no lady and instead chasing after younger ladies, he probably has issues he's hiding. Thus, also be careful.
@rosie230 (1703)
•
13 May 10
Don't worry about it... these days age is not important in relationships... My first real boyfriend was almost 21 years older than me, and I stayed with him for 10 years and had a son with him. The reason I broke it off with him is because he would not be in a committed relationship with me or our son, I am now with a guy who is 19 years older than me, and in a similar situation, so it could go horribly wrong, and we also have a 1 year son together. But it is not the age difference that causes problems for me, it is the fact that I only seem to attract the guys that don't want commitment like I do. I actually prefer to date an older man, mainly because they come across more mature and sensible rather than out drinking every night, or clubbing etc.
@joanick27 (141)
• Philippines
13 May 10
Have you considered the possibility of looking for a father image? Well, for me, for as long as he is single and very much available then why not? Age doesn't matter for as long as you love someone. But before jumping into the situation, you have to study your feelings first. You have to know whether you're just excited on a father image or whether you truly love him. But if that's really love, you can give it a try. God bless!
@miranda521 (427)
• China
13 May 10
I have acted a crush on somebody but not an old man.I never fall love in a man older than I. But if there is love,age is not a problem,.just love.
@manojt2 (179)
• India
13 May 10
Hi,
If you wanna ask me what to do, I'll tell you its pretty simple. Go for it! Whatever his age is do not worry about the age factor. Nothing comes between love. Age, Race nothing. If you really like him, go for it and grab the opportunity. But before that check whether he is interested in you too. It shouldn't be a one-way traffic. If you feel, he is not interested, just enjoy the situation as it is. From my experience I can tell you that this is most enjoying (the intermediate state) then going for the complete relationship. What you say?
@julyhui (47)
• China
13 May 10
I just read a artical ,the topic is :may-december romance.maby it was just like your story.I have no idea about it.but in fact ,I think you'd better give up.cause
he was old.and he had his family.If he was single,I support you to love him.love is bindless.but love is great.we should always looking out to get our love for free!just a kindly suggestion
