who is in the wrong

ok here we go. with you saving everything is an illness. toss what you dont need and if you find its hard. seek help. there is a name for this cant think of it right now. ok for hubby, good he is going to school, but if he's not working his butt can pitch in around the house and help. and he also can go out and look for away to make extra money. if he dont want to help then he needs to shut up. there is nothing wrong with a man helping with house cleaning. i do 90% of the house cleaning here at my house, me and wife are disable. but i cant understand why he think 140 a week is cool, here i am a man who wants to work and need to work but cant because of health issues.

ok, the first thing that struck me was no one is working and you have 6 dogs, that cost money for food, now i know it's hard but i'd get rid of some of the dogs first and believe me when i tell ya im an animal lover and i do know that would hurt. i live with what i call a pack rat, she keeps "everything" until i get tired of seeing all the useless junk she saves, then i get a garbage can and clean house my way, everything goes, but within a few months all the crap is back in the draws and i get the can again. i dont know how old he is but if he cant pick up after himself he should zip his lip, anyone who looks after kids during the day all day needs all the help they can get.

A few questions for you... 1. how can you feed 6 dogs if you and your husband dont work? 2. Did you finish college? what degree? 3. How did you get the xbox if both of you are unemployed? Making the house perfect is not only by cleaning it. You can create a perfect home by telling your husbands that both of you need to work together to make your house happy. You can make some rules and tell your husband that he also need to help you do the chores. I believe that if you still have that love then he will surely help you. Oh and by the way, if you dont mind, try to sell that xbox and the newspapers in your drawers. With that you dont have any problem about your husband waking up playing xbox plus you can earn money with that newspapers.

I have got multiple questions for u.. First u say ur husband is unemployed, but he is going to a school for making money, this says he is employed.. U are not working, and how come u manage the family? Paying the electricity bill, tution fee for ur son, Internet bill,? How come these things work.. Actually i dont understand ur question... U could use simple passive sentences to make it clear, this is not the place to show the extraordinary talents of English Language , because many of them here are not native English speakers... Anyhow, learn from now... Welcome to mylot..

Hi, Must say I sympathise about the men making a mess then expecting us to clean it up. My husband is a very messy person, and his cleaning skills just are not up to scratch. But something I will say is that he tries very hard to help out around the house, especially now I am pregnant (I get very dizzy spells if I stand too long or get too warm and he forces me to sit while he does everythign), he also works full time- over 60 hours a week, and makes all the money that comes into the house, I do not work, I have not been able to find a full time job since moving here, but again my husband doesn't want me working, not full time anyway, as it means with his hours in shift work, we would never see each other. I think you need to give your husband a kick up the backside if I am honest!!!! You have a child, and 6 dogs and a home to look after, and I am guessing a hard time paying bills if your income is only 140 a week. Does he TRY to get a job, or does he not want to work, or is he training for a specific job in school at the moment? With a child, you should not worry about getting a job, and nor should you have to, I don't agree with a mother going out to work while the father stays home playing on silly computer games and doing nothing around the house. You need to stop the Halo playing time, tell your husband his brother must leave the house by 9pm, and the xbox goes off. And if he continues to ignore you, then whilst he is at schoool, hide it in a cupboard, and tell him you have sold it for the simple fact he was never off it and your relationship was slipping because of it, if his brother lives with you, then that is also something you need to sort out- he should help otu around the house too, and contribute to an income, though you dont mention him living there just with him been there until midnight everynight! He should start to help out around the house more, yes if he like my husband you might even find yourself going back over what he has done sometimes- and if he is generally a messy man like my hubby that won't change! But tell him that he has to buck up his ideas and start to help out, help with the dinner every other night, do the sweeping or the polishing every now and then. Just go in to him with the duster and polish and say "do the polishing please", and leave him to it. If he ignores you just keep reminding him to do it, and don't take over, just leave it until he does it. With my husband I was getting annoyed with me always having to clean and tidy and him doing nothing- yes he works and on his working days I don't mind him sleeping in and not doing anything bar making his dinner for work and doing a general tidy, but I was getting annoyed with everything been my job the hoovering, the washing up, the clothes, the garden, the polishing and the cooking. And so in the end, I just stopped doing anything. I left the house for a week with nothing been done, I think I was ill at the time, it was probably when I first got pregnant, and he soon realised he would have to do things if he wanted them doing as I certainly wasn't going to do it, and his attitude towards the cleaning has improved a lot since!!! Your husband needs a kick up the backside, I don't know how you cope with him!!!!

I think both of you are still not ready for a married life. My guess is you married at an early age. My only advice that I can give you is to talk to him, heart to heart. I think one of the problem here is the immaturity of handling a marriage life. It is good that you have an open communication. Be open to his suggestion and he should be open to your suggestion. It should be a give and take relationship. Talk to him about your weakness, talk to him about your dislikes, tell him what you want so that he will know you better and when time comes he will also understand you. Let him talk also about his wants. Listen to him and understand him also. Only the two of you can smoothen your relation.

Morning Raco, You know what I'd like to see you do..I really think you need ton get away and get some help. Sometimes I fear for you and your son. You are right when you say my life is better, but it doesn't make it right. I can understand your fear of getting the help you need, it will uproot you and the main problem is your dogs that you love so well because you probably won't be able to take them with you. If I could I'd take your dogs until you can get on your feet. As for being perfect? No one is Raco, but you are a great person and very smart. I believe this education you are getting may help you move on..

Maybe what you need is a good friend to talk to..Oh, I'm sorry, you had one, but she was a negative influence on you? How is that? What exactly did this friend do other than react in shock when the local police was making your husband come home after a couple days in jail for attacking you?

Obviously, you have a problem here and only you and your husband can work this out together. One thing you do not want to happen is for you to get into a more difficult situation like being homeless or not being able to provide food for the family. You have to work out together something that will improve the state of things. I think both of you are at fault but this is not the time for you to be pointing accusing fingers at each other. On the contrary, you should be humble enough to say that you too are at fault for taking everything for granted and for not doing your best to help your husband. Why did you say no one will hire you? Are you that bad? I don't think so. I think you only need some degree of self-confidence and positive thinking. Make yourself useful and productive in whatever field you're in, whether as plain housekeeper, develop some special skills so you can easily find employment elsewhere. As to your husband I think he will also come to realize his shortcomings once you straighten up your act as housewife. All the best to you and your family.

You are assuredly not in the wrong. Nor is it wrong for you to keep the Newspaper for a week or organize a junk drawer. My advice is to sit down with your husband and have a heart to heart. Let him know that he is fully capable of putting his clothes in a laundry basket and putting things away when he goes rummaging through them. Make it clear to him you will not sit back and tolerate emotional abuse, you are not worthless and do not deserve to be treated in that manner. Also, with neither of you working you really should get rid of the dogs. Your son being able to eat should be the priority not the animals.