Raising my granddaughter ...Am i being selfish?

NOT AT ALL. You gave her a chance when the baby was first born and she said no. So like you said you have raised your family already now she has to realize that the baby is her responsibility not yours. So many girls have babies thinking its all fun and games. They want to go out and still have the life they had before the baby. They don't realize that once you have a baby your life as you knew it is over. The baby comes before everything. So many just want to continue having the life they had before the baby. This will definitely create bad behavior on the child. My daughters sister-in-law is like this and her 2 year old daughter is in day care giving the teachers and the other kids problems. She is hardly ever with her mom and and does not have a stable life at all. This I blame on the mother for not being the mom she is suppose to be. She rather go to bars and hang out. What a shame for these poor kids.

I think neither you nor your daughter is selfish. Every mother has the right, responsiblity, and dream to bring up her own child. So, your daughter didn't want to give the girl to you. But, now the situation changed and she really needs the help of somebody to take care of the child. I agree that you are busy and want to concentrate on starting the business. In this case, you can tell her that now you are busy with starting the business and you can take care of the kid later.

Of course not. You have asked her early on about it but she was insistent that she should take care of her child. Besides, it is definitely her responsibility to do so as the parent of her child. Your daughter seems like to escape from her responsibilities the way I see it. Now that she is having problems with her child she would like you to take her daughter. The way I see it, it is not you who is selfish but your daughter. Don't get me wrong here as I am not judging her but only the actions. Maybe it is time for her to be a fully responsible mother. She can still enjoy without foregoing her role as a parent.

i hate to say no disrespect what so ever, parents like your daughter i hate, ive seen this way too much. babies having babies then they dont want to take care of them. or even older parnets dont want to take care of thier own. but its a tough way to go for you for sure, you will have to do lot of soul searching. yeah its not fair to you but your grand daughter didnt ask for none of this, and remember if she stays with her mom what kind of life will she have, and what kind of chance will she have in life. i would look for help within in the family for your kids to help this poor little girl. had my cousin living with us, and his son was out of control too within two weeks he was may i please, thank you. loose his smart mouth, so just remember he didnt ask for what he was brought into and neither did her

I would say no because you have gave her every chance to take your grand baby in I know it's tough we are having the same issues with my brothers baby mom...She is a mess but now my niece is 10 years old and already talking about emancipation and coming to live with us.Which I feel is so sad for a child to know about those things...but we are here her regardless....

Dear Grandma Lajaded 1, My oppinion only: I feel you are very luck to be around your grandchild at all. I have 2 grand children (1-7 and 1-17) I never had the oppertunity to see them or be around them. I do not think you are being selfish for wanting your own life.Raising your children is a hard and long job and Certainly starting a new business is going to be hard to. Now to me from just what I have read of your question... Your daughter doesn't seem to know how to be a loving and giving mother to her child. Seems to me she is the one that need to grow up, stay home, and take the responsibility of her child. If she has not taught the child to be respectful to teachers and adults. Who is going to teach the child to do so? Can you go on with your life knowing the child needs an adult to look up to? To learn how to be an adult? The main question, What adult will teach the child? You? Your daughter ? or the Athorities? Because the unruly children end up with the them,and they dont have time to teach all the children they have, and then where do they go? (the jails) My Heart goes out to you being in this situation. My suggestion is to Pray long and hard about it. As you know Life is full of these kind of dissions... I hope I have not offened you, but its your daughter that needs to grow up, and be the mother and let you be the Grandmother. Talk to her openly and honestly about her options...and losing your grandchild to the system is not one of them. Just another grandmothers oppion...God Bless You.........Sarah

No, not being selfish at all. You daughter has the full responsibility of raising her daughter. But if she does not want to raise her the granddaughter could end up being more hurt by the situation. Not saying your daughter would abuse her but she might end up being neglected or end up in a foster home. Just wanting you to think of all of the possibilities. None could happen or all could happen. Maybe you and your daughter could come to some kind of compromise for the granddaughters sake.

No, lajaded1. You are not being selfish. Your daughter needs to act like a grown up and a responsible mother to her child. I am sorry that she has you in this bind. But, you will have to tell her that this is her responsibility and not yours. Yes, you love your grand, but your daughter has to be a parent to this child. If she is unable to for whatever reason then you can step in, if you feel that you can manage it. Don't feel guilty none of the least. Your daughter should do what is right and stop partying. It is time for her to take care of her responsibility, which is to her child. I am sorry if this may sound harsh, but too many things are happening these days to waste it away on fun and cheap thrills. Take care.

You are not at all selfish my dear. I mean when you had offered to help by taking in the child, she had refused. And now when she cant handle it anymore and has realised that parenting is not as easy as it looks she wants to give up the child. Now that she has spoilt the child's life and has become a obstacle in her selfish ways, she wants to give it to you. From your point of view, I would say you are not at all selfish and should go ahead and say no. But then I feel this form of pity for the child. I mean it is so sad for the child that its mother doesn't have time for it. It is the worst situation the child can be in. No one to care for it. I would, if I was in your place, given two tight slaps to my child the first time she behaved like a stranger to the child. So go ahead say no but make sure that your daughter wakes up and begins to take care of her child. Pulling up your child is your responsibility.

I think you're daughter is still young but she needs to face the responsibility of being the mother to her child. I know you also have your own priorities and also need to think about yourself. I think your situation requires a lot of sacrifice cause if you are going to give your granddaughter back to her mom and her mom is gonna be irresponsible about taking care of her then your granddaughter is not going to be in good hands. At least if you are going to take care of her, she will be well taken cared of. If she's going back you her mother then it could also be a way for your daughter to become responsible and be accountable of her own actions.

I think you are not selfish you already offer to take care her baby but she had not wiling. And now after that cute little baby become unruly kid because lack of attention from his mom. I think you are right by let your grand live with her mom, she need learn to handle her children. You can help her by taking care your grand in every Saturday night so your daughter can have social life.

no i don't think you are being selfish at all. you have your own life to live. your daughter should assume her responsibility as a mother. you can still help her out though by baby sitting once in a while.

Selfish is not the issue here but cooperation. You did the right thing for being a good grandmother to your grandchild and a good mother to your daughter. Things must to understand that at a young age she have a baby. As a person, it would better to cooperate one another for the future not only for the baby but for the family as well. I hope everything is alright to all of you. Goodluck, remember to always pray because only in prayer we can find answer.

Follow your heart, and i will always be with u.