Rules We Teach Our Kids That We Don't Follow
@lifedoesntimitate (128)
United States
May 14, 2010 3:31pm CST
Okay, so in the spirit of full disclosure, let me say that I don't have children of my own at present. However, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Basically, why do you think it is that we tend to teach our children rules or lessons that we then don't follow ourselves as we become adults?
I think about, for instance, things like looking both ways before we cross the street, saying excuse me when you want to talk with someone who's in the middle of a conversation, putting things back from where you got them, etc. I mean, there are tons of these little rules that adults just don't necessarily follow, and yet, for the most part, we teach our kids that they are important, even necessary.
So, my question to you all is two-fold: What are some rules that you've observed, like these, that you stop abiding by as you get older? And, more importantly, why do you think that is?
1 response
@roxxtime (299)
• United States
14 May 10
Oh my gosh so many. Don't talk with your mouth full, don't play with your food, don't fight, and so many more. My 6 year old asks me all the time why he has to follow rules and of course it's "because I said so". As far as why we stop, probably rebellion, we probably decide as my 6year old has that we won't follow them when we grow up. Other than that I haven't thought of it. Perhaps since you don't have children you could provide more insight.
@lifedoesntimitate (128)
• United States
15 May 10
Interesting. I never really considered that it might have actually been a conscious choice, like you suggest here.
I guess, if you're right, it just feels so hollow and empty to teach our kids these things. I mean, the idea is to keep them safe and make the world better, right? So, if that's the case, and the point is to have safe and world-bettering adults come out of those lessons, it seems to me that we should lead by example, and be those adults that we want our kids to be. And I don't just mean doing the "right" thing when our kids are around, but actually acknowledging the truth and wisdom of those rules and lessons, and integrating them into our daily routines. I don't know; that's just how it seems to me.
@roxxtime (299)
• United States
15 May 10
I totally feel you it just doesn't happen that way for instance our children go to be early but as an adult one of the advantages is we don't have to but we'd be better off if we did lol. Being a parent is jacked up. It's rewarding and beautiful but it's also contradicting and guilt ridden. We can't be as good as we want our children to be and I wish it was different because they are so sweet and naive and we rob them of thier innocence when all we try to do is preserve it.
@lifedoesntimitate (128)
• United States
15 May 10
Wow. That was one of the saddest, most honest description of parenthood I think I've ever read. Thank you for that.
For what it's worth, I'd say the bedtime thing is a little bit different, but that may just have been the way it was in my home growing up. Basically, every year, my sister and I would get our bedtime pushed back half an hour, with the understanding being that eventually we wouldn't have a bedtime at all. We didn't, however, for instance, get closer to being allowed to jaywalk. :)
