Have You Ever Felt Like You wish Life's Burdens Would Melt Away?
By pyewacket
@pyewacket (43903)
United States
May 15, 2010 8:28am CST
I know so many people who are friends of mine here who are going through rough times. It could be economic reasons, health reasons, grief and depression and simply feeling that while "Hey I'm a good person, why am I going through this?" I haven't let on with my friends even my close friends that for sometime now, I just haven't been "with it"....for months actually so this may be a revelation. No matter how I really feel I try to put on a "happy" face and let people think I'm okay......WELL I'M NOT OKAY
I've gone through my crapload in life and yet somehow come out strong. I've had many dire scares in my life, but came out strong........ But lately for many months I just haven't been "there'---I have no real motivation, none of that spark I used to have. I'm TIRED of being strong I guess. I've had to be "strong" for so many years and feel spent out, worn out, tired.
Then I guess the one real recent final blow came when my beloved cat Pyewacket died and died in my arms.......that "snapped" me....and just haven't come to terms with it. Yes, I've had cats since I was five years old, but for some reason his death has hit me like no other. ...I'm just not coping well..if I wasn't interested in doing things before now I'm really not. I used to write articles for websites and haven't had an interest in writing anymore. I haven't had an interest in anything which is the REAL truth why I haven't been as active here anymore and now I find myself so restless, bored. I try to get interested in my friends discussions here but I can't.......Like I said....I'm just NOT coping well and haven't for sometime.
Ironically, music has been a major balm in my life.....I studied music, used to play violin, guitar, sang.....I'm into so many genres of music it's not funny----while I extensively studied music I could never read music......I always played from what I heard.....could duplicate what I heard and play on guitar automatically.....uh, yes could even duplicate Jimi Hendrix ----whatever I heard I could play....since "life" situations have occurred haven't played guitar in decades--in fact when I think of it.....I haven't done much for ME in the past decades due to circumstances feeling obligated to kiss azz for others even my mother of whom I was a caregiver until she died. And I've paid the price.....many times fold for not allowing myself to be ME..I was always made to feel and still feel guilty of being ME--who am I then?
What is this leading up to you may ask? I came across this video just last night...a song by Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful Of Sunshine and some how it hit a chord with me.......to get awayyyyyyyyyyy--maybe I need to for awhile just stop the path I've been on and think of ME which for so long due to all my weird circumstances in my life (and my friends will know what I mean) and never explored------It's like for too long I haven't lived for ME
Do you have a gripe? Do you feel you're experiencing true fulfillment in life.....do you need to get away and do things for yourself?
Here's that video.......just love it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gte3BoXKwP0
8 people like this
32 responses
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
16 May 10
Hey pye~ I am so sorry that you too are feeling so down~ I do
totally understand, as I also don't know why I am also feeling
the way I have been feeling for quite awhile now. I haven't been
out of the apartment now in weeks (and you do know what the means).
I feel so terrible about your losing your Pyewacket. I know how
absolutely horrible that must have been. I have been through
that loss before and it took me years to get over the loss of
my Cougar, because he was so very special to me. I hated to
admit that he was the "special" kitty in my life, until I got
Star. But, all my babies are special to me and I miss them all
and it still hurts and I still cry when I think about each one
of them! I don't know what is happening to me either. I love
this time of year, love being outside and can't make myself move!
I listened to this song and totally fell in love with it! And
I listened to a few more that are on the CD and think I want to
get it! Natasha Bedingfield is quite talented! Thanks for the
link! I went on the Bestbuy website to hear the other songs
on the "Pocket Of Sunshine" CD and they all pretty much are
very good. They let you listen to 30 seconds per song! But, that
song is definitely special! I hope that you can get yourself
something to believe in and find something that will make you
happy! I know I sure want to! Monday is the day I am going to
the hospital for the Mammo and bloodwork. I am scared and praying.
I can't do anything else at this point. It is out of my hands.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
19 May 10
Well at least one thing...I do try to go out at least every other day, I would go completely bonkers staying home...for some reason the days I stay home I feel lazier and even more unmotivated, if that makes any sense--I really need to shake my booty and get to exercising again...a lot of my pain issues and joint problems I think has been a result of my not being active and just sitting in front of the computer for long hours. So a lot of way I've been feeling is due how I feel physically. Since you had already emailed me you mentioned your tests came out all right--so good news for you, right?
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
16 May 10
Good luck tomorrow w/your testd. I will be thinking of u& said a prayer for u. hugs, jo
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
16 May 10
Hi jo, Thank you so much for your prayers! I'll take all that
I can~ I'm very scared right now because I have to go to have
it done at the hospital and not the Medical Center I'm used to
and the doctor and I felt the same "problem". My girlfriend is
going with me so I won't be alone! I've had these scares before
and only had to be operated on once and everything was ok!
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
16 May 10
I have felt the same way lately....tired of trying.....tired of everything...nothing ever seems to pan out no matter how hard I try. Then a few days ago I read this saying someplace.....don't look back at what you lost......look ahead to what you might gain. Dwelling the past holds you back. Well maybe I have a tendency to look at what I have lost...I have more then some...and I should be happy....but right now my life seems like it's just a motion I go through....kinda like you. I will watch the video....thanks for sharing!
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
19 May 10
I'm beginning to think one thing that might help me feel better is to shake my butt and start exercising again--I used to do a regular yoga exercise years ago, but my life and needs took a back seat for too long. A lot of how I feel is connected with how I've been physically feeling with my arthritis and joint pain issues...need to get flexible again. Also can't help what gets a lot of us down...gee just turn on the news and one gets their daily dose of negativity which doesn't help
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
16 May 10
Hi jill, just wanted to say i hope u get to feeling better. Seems we all are a bit down but it will pass i hope & pray for all of us. I just wanted u to know i was thinking about u to. hugs, jo
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
15 May 10
Weather you knew it or not your bad spell has been in your writting so much anger when you write about anial rights.
I do beleive it was a way for you to get things out of your system.
But seems like that didnt work all that well and you know hae to get to the point to let things goooooooo.
Why not pick up that Guitar and play and play to your hearts content do it for you! Maybe you would like to take some thing in the line of music sounds like it.
And watching the vidio just get out throw arms apart let the wind blow ya around and feel free.
I took that month to go visit son and I relaxed I had no one calling on me to do things that I realy didnt want to do . I came back more relaxed adn I am in no rush now to get to that job I dont care to do but I do it.
And I know it helps to smile all the time even if it is smiling at something the Pye did.
bring back the good memories and if ya cry for months over Pye passing away that is just fine. hugssssssssssssssssssssssssss and blessing my friend get to doing thing for you!
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
16 May 10
THat is sad.
and I to have trouble walking but I went and got some chia seeds for heart and joints and seems to help alot I can usually walk to the school with out hurting to much but I do have ot walk slower than I used too.
and if I have a lot of cramping I drink some vinagar and water ya can put honey in it but I dont takes to long!
The day I got home from Tenn had to go right to a tball game for grand daughter was playig and my toes my left leg and side all started cramping at one time every thin ewas cramping! When I got home I drank the vinigar it stopped but the calf of my left leg hurt for several days but worked it out.
Hope this helps you hugsssssssssssssssssssssss
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
16 May 10
I really don't think it has anything to do with the animal rights issues that's getting me depressed and down, but more my physical health. Over a year ago, I started getting the symptoms of RA...I USED to have very mild joint/arthritis issues but still could walk like I was fired out of a cannon, in other words fast. Now I tend to walk like I'm 150 years old, and need to take my collapsible shopping wagon and use it like a walker when I go out.
As for playing the guitar again...I think that would only frustrate me as I would have to learn all over again...I haven't played since the late 1970s. Also just wouldn't have the flexibility in my hands due to my arthritis issues...it's one of the reason I no longer do my crafts...my hands tend to cramp up a lot
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
15 May 10
Unfortunately, the video can't be viewed from my side as a note there explains that my country is blocked due to copyright. Weird! I think everyone of us will reach a time where we feel demoralized and lost the spark in life. Life is full of extremes, ups and downs, victory and defeat, praise and defamation. No one is free from this. No matter how good we are, these tests come suddenly and we have to be always prepared - and come out victorious. When we are in this miserable situation, it is time calling to switch to silent mode and retreat to our inner self and find peace within. It is widely acknowledged that it is easier to appreciate what is good when one has already experienced the 'bad'. We should focus more on ourselves and this cannot be done if we keep concentrating on the demand of the world outside. No one can play our parts but ourselves. Definitely I am not dancing to the joy of life now as I am only waiting for the time bomb to tear me down to pieces. Before all these life's burdens drive me to insanity, I am flying off for a long awaited vacation and won't be mylotting for a while.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
16 May 10
Here's hoping that when you take your vacation some of your problems dissipate, or at the very least won't have to think about them for awhile
I didn't realize your country put blocks on certain websites like Youtube
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
15 May 10
Yes, sometimes you're there for everyone else and you can loose track of you and your needs as well as what makes you happy. Your happiness is important. Sometimes selfless people have to stop helping others to the detriment of themselves.
Interesting that you should mention music. Yesterday, saw a wall chart of all guitar chords that I wish I could buy my husband. Tonight, I'm going to try to get to a Middle Eastern Dance Show after work. Take care.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
16 May 10
I wonder if they have all the guitar chords on a website somewhere, then all you would have to do is print them up??
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
16 May 10
Here's one site that has guitar chords--it has the very simple basic ones and the more complicated ones as well
http://www.guitarchords247.com/
1 person likes this
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
15 May 10
I know exactly what you mean. I have a disability and quite often feel like "why bother?" I have had times when my life was very hard and I felt I always had to be strong for others. You get sick of it, and kind of envy people that are weak and have everyone doing things for them. I don't often tell anyone, even my closest friends how I am really feeling because I don't want them to think there is anything they can do. Everything is so hard for me sometimes it is easier just to stay in bed. Besides who wants to listen to someone complain all the time? The loss of your cat probably didn't help much. It sounds like it brought everything you have been feeling for awhile to a head. I hope things will get better for you. Things usually do if given enough time. I know that doesn't help much, to think that in time you will feel better doesn't help now. Maybe you won't feel good, but acceptable.@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
19 May 10
I often think how I physically feel is what is getting me down. Over a year ago I started getting really bad joint and arthritis issues...there are days I walk like a 150 year old person and this from a person who used to walk like I was fired out of a cannon, meaning fast...I hate it! 
1 person likes this
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
19 May 10
I used to walk all over the place when I was younger. Now I have a hard time walking to the bathroom. I heard someone say old people walk like they bought shoes at Payless, and didn't cut the tag connecting the shoes. That describes the way I walk perfectly, but I am not that old. It can be depressing and affect how you view everything.
1 person likes this
@max1950 (2306)
• United States
15 May 10
first let me say im sorry for your loss of pyewacket, i lost my max after a year of insulin shots, cataract surgery because of blindness caused by the diabetes he past last august and i still miss him everyday. i find that when things get me down a long walk in the woods does me a world of good, getting away with a fishing pole in hand also works. i look at it as life on lifes terms and why things happen i figure someone has a plan, and although i dont always agree with it, it's not for me to ask why things happen, if i can change things i do but usually that doesnt happen as with max. i find myself getting a little teary eyed thinking about max so its time for me to go take a walk and shake it off. enjoy your weekend and know that pyewacket is looking down at you waiting for you to meet again in another life.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
16 May 10
I'm truly sorry for the loss of your Max, was he very old? That's why it was such a shock for me with Pyewacket..he was only eight years old and thought I had many more years with him
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
2 Jun 10
First of all I am sorry about what happened to your cat. Ia m a pet lover , I love cats and dogs and when I read the line about your cat I felt bad. I just don't understand that when we have problems, they till awake those who can only give happiness to us. I can't take that. If that is the deal then life is unfair. I have been through so many things inlife, life is not easy with me. I already define life as 95$ of problems and 5% of happiness. I wish my life will just pause whenever there is a problem. if that is the case I am tired too. Actually I am tired of living life too. But when I see my family and I knowing what happened to them when I am gone I am frightened. I continue living because of them and I don't know how long.
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
15 May 10
first-*hugz*
oh yea.i often have re-assessment periods,where i wonder why i bother.
i busted my *ss to help a group of friends not too long ago only to be rewarded by being accused of BS and turned on..and a whole mess was left in my lap by them.
and to this day i still have people angry at them who come to me for answers,like i'm their mother or something.
long story short and without me rambling,i realized i was too often putting aside my own career to help others..noble in a sense,but left me holding the stick.
all this going on while trying to deal with the biddy among other things..
sometimes,we just have to put ME first..for the sake of health if nothing else.
it wears on you..it really does.
oh yea.i often have re-assessment periods,where i wonder why i bother.
i busted my *ss to help a group of friends not too long ago only to be rewarded by being accused of BS and turned on..and a whole mess was left in my lap by them.
and to this day i still have people angry at them who come to me for answers,like i'm their mother or something.
long story short and without me rambling,i realized i was too often putting aside my own career to help others..noble in a sense,but left me holding the stick.
all this going on while trying to deal with the biddy among other things..
sometimes,we just have to put ME first..for the sake of health if nothing else.
it wears on you..it really does.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
16 May 10
Yup--looking back I realize how in a sense my own needs were always put on the back burner. My mother wasn't able to take on responsibilities, and I learned to be very responsible at a very early age, but of course that meant doing for others and not myself. Uh, I take when you mean "biddy" you mean your mother?
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
16 May 10
yea-everybody calls her biddy.she finds it amusing
1 person likes this
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
15 May 10
Hi Mel,
I'm so truly sorry about Pyewacket. I did email you but I'm not sure if you'll receive it, or if you changed your email address.
Your words hit me hard and you said exactly what I've been feeling for a long period of time, and you're so right, to stop the path we've been on and think of ME, and live for ME. I, like you, wish I could get away, and do things for myself. I know what I need at this point, but there is no possible way of achieving it. I hope you do find your true life's fulfillment, you deserve it.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
16 May 10
Yes I got your email, I also included my other email addy in my email back to you. I'm thinking one thing would help me would be to get back into doing yoga...it might help with my RA issues and make me flexible again, that's one of the reasons for my feeling out of it due to my pain issues
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
15 May 10
I am exactly where you are... Spent my life doing for others, putting others first and thinking of others all before myself. My kids were and are the only exceptions to this as I will do for them as much as I can till the day I die, but the rest of the "world"....God said I have to "do unto others"...he didn't say I have to let them do me! So I have stopped. I give and give and give... and so very seldom ever get anything back, I'm sick and tired of it. He also said I have to "forgive and forget" but he didn't say I have to contiue to go back for more. And that old addage my Dad beat into me that "your happiness comes when you make others happy" well I have made a huge lot of people happy, and at first it was nice, but when nothing was returned repeatedly... I wasn't very happy anymore!
So I do for me...if anyone don't like it, I'll give you a quarter and you can call someone that cares.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
19 May 10
Isn't weird how hard it is for us to give ourselves "permission" so to say about doing things for oneself rather then bending over backwards doing for others? I guess it's like a bad habit one has to break out of
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
15 May 10
hi pyewacket I loved that video wow and that girl has some great voice. I have felt that way for the last one year and a half when my life was torn to shreds when my son lost his job, we got behind in the rent, were evicted, the lady friend my son had on the net reneged on her pledge to help us by paying the first three months rent on an apartment in antioch Ca. thus leaving us homeless. but my son felt it was not safe for me at myage and with my bad leg and my diabetes to be homeless, he got me put here at Gold Crest,not at all what either of us wanted, and hes still in an apt with three othe guys all out of work, but its still better for both of us than being on the street and homeless. I loved that video and the little boy just wanting to get away from the pain of his parents constant bickering.wow Pocketful of sunshine, that is going to brighten up my whole day. thanks for sharing HOpe you get some sunshine now too. hugs from hatley.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
16 May 10
Here's hoping that your situation will change soon and for the better. Yes, that kid element was great in the video. We often forget that kids in a home environment where the parents are always bickering affects kids too and is stressful for them as well
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
5 Jan 11
I think that there are times in all of our lives where we really need to sit back and reassess the way that things are in our lives. The turning point that I have faced the most recently in my life is the fact that a month ago two of my ex-boyfriend's children were killed in a house fire. His kids were each four months younger than my children. That hit me hard and I really wasn't able to function for a while. I'm starting to get back to my old self now, but still it has been a certain turning point in my life.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
15 May 10
There are severla times throughout my day when I wish that life's burdens would melt away. Life throws so many different situations our way. Sometimes it is hard to keep up the pace. If only we could erase some thinhs to make room for more pressing issues, it certainly would help, Having no burdens to bear would be ideal yet/
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
16 May 10
The ironic thing is that if we went through life without any "challenges" it might be a rather boring life, don't you think?
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
17 May 10
Take me away too, just not on a parachute.....
@doglady112 (604)
• Canada
17 May 10
hey there,
So I went to watch the video. It was really enjoyable, thanks. My husband is always singing that song all the time. He's really going through a bad time right now. He can't seem to get a break no matter what he does. I'm kind of concerned about his mental state. He always seems to me to be calm and together, but I know that's not the case. Half the time he doesn't hear anything I say to him and sometimes he's really nasty to me. As far as for me, there's one thing I want to do. I just can't find the time or the ambition to do it. It's good that you have music to help get you through. I have that too. I'd just like to spend more time at it. Anyway keep the faith, things will look up soon. That's what I tell my husband all the time.
@RobtheRock (2433)
• United States
17 May 10
I've heard that song before. Yes, I wish life's burdens would melt away. But they won't and so I have to live in my own little bubble and do what I can for me until I can help others. You have helped others, I have not done what I feel I should because I'm so busy struggling to make it. And then when a major corporation tries to syphon what little I have, it makes me mad and I fight harder. I know depression, but some things anger me and put me in a fighting mood. Song is my best ally. I have songs that stir my spirit and make me move forward when times get tough. As for friends and relatives, they know not to ask me for anything since I don't have it (except advice and knowledge); they know that when I'm busy, I can't help them. So in spite of life's burdens, I listen to music and keep plucking away.
@mannymatters (13)
• Philippines
18 May 10
Is that what is called mid-life crisis? They say it is most common to ages from 30-60. I'm 37 and oftentimes I feel bored. I am usually up from 3 AM to do online work (I'm an outsourcing provider). But there are mornings I would rather do chores outside work, like gardening and fixing things around the house. Then I will get coffee and stay in the terrace for as long as I like. However, I cannot stay this way. Bills will surely come month after month. We have to shop for our needs at least once a week. We have to set aside something for the kid's education. Added to these are small and big things to fix, but to fix them needs money and the money is not yet in, and they have to wait. I just pray for the time I can already take care of these things and as you said, wish life's burdens would just melt away.
@donyun247 (90)
• Singapore
18 May 10
Yes I understand how's that feel. Even now I feel like I wish the burdens of my life just go away in an instant. Sometime I think, with all of these time staying strong with what has happened with my life stuffs makes me think : "Is it worth it?"
That question is always popped right in my brain every single time. Did I do the right choice, what have I done in the past that I deserve this burden. But hey, it's life. The only thing that I can do is no matter what hits me even tough I fall down, I try my best to stand again and keep on going even tough it's slow. It doesn't sound nice but it does the job for me. But I still wishing that someday life will have it's reward on me. At least I'm living for something.
Cheeers...
@tenlittledogs (3)
• United States
17 May 10
I think all of us have been in your shoes at one time or another. It is not easy. Everyone handles it in his/her own way. I wish you the best and may you find your way quickly.
