can we help this child

Hi Pat Sorry I am late I am so far behind My answer to you is if I was in the Situation and if I was able to provide the Child a settled home and Life then yes I would offer to foster her, at least she would be able to settle down and still see her Dad

Hi savypat, How does one respond to such a question? I have read and re-read your discussion and my heart goes out to this little girl. I'm sure a stable home is what she needs in her life right now and from everything I've seen from you in this forum, I feel certain that you can provide the love and support she needs. Yet, there is much that I don't know about the situation, both hers and your own. Do you think that anyone in her family would object to her being taken in by someone they might consider a complete stranger? It sounds as if her father would be delighted. I don't know anything about the law regarding foster parents where you live but sometimes there are issues that an outsider might not know about. I'm not saying that you are old but I feel certain that you are more than thirty. Would age be a problem as far as the laws that govern foster parents are concerned? Let me just say that with what I know about you from this forum, I believe you should seriously consider it. A little girl needs a home and you may be able to provide it. Remember there are no coincidences in life. Blessings.

If you really think you can do it, offer to foster. However, if you really can't do it, don't offer because you'll just be another grown up who promised to help her, but was disappointing in the end. Is there a possibility that you can lend this man money so that he can maintain an appropriate and stable house for himself and the daughter?

Hi, savy! While I was reading your thread, it somehow made me think of all the tv shows I saw before - only that your concern is a real life concern. I wish I could somehow persuade you in letting that girl have a home. Because honestly, everything will affect her psychology if her life is continuously happening like what you said. When she's being passed around house to house - worst - with unstable people. Who might possibly not treat her well. I know you have a good heart, savy. And I guess this is God's way of giving you a challenge. One of your greatest test in your life. And for that little girl the most important blessing anyone would die to have - a home. A home full of love and everything she wished to have. Trust me. I know how it feels to be broken. I am sure her father would somehow be relieved that his daughter is in good hands. And will not hesitate to give you a financial assistance. Made me wonder, is it really possible for one person to be that unfortunate? I really thought it only exist in movies but now that you're sharing this story - then it really is true. That one can be really have a bad luck carried with him. I hope to hear from you soon. I am sure your family, when they listen with their hearts, will say yes to you in taking the child in your home. =)

How about a good heart to heart talk with the Dad. Do you have any idea what kind of help he might even be willing to accept? Depending on how you approach him and how he feels about accepting help, you may get anything from "I can take care of my own child" to "take her, she's yours". But it certainly can't hurt to let him know that you are willing to help in whatever way you can.

My heart says no when I think about you two.It would be good for this girl, but what about your life?It may seem a wonderful idea because it's about saving a child and doing good, but is it really the best thing to do?I don't know.I wouldn't do that.

hi savypat I wonder if you do not really see the answer, as I think I do, by all means rescue this poor little girl and as her father will be able to see her, then this should stablize her life and give her a real chance to have a wonderful growing up in a stable home like yours. I think this is really a wonderful thing that you could do for the father and the little girl. I think you are wonderful to think of this and if your family agree then go for it.

Oh my Pat! This is a very serious dilema! I think that it is so wonderful of you to even think about opening up your home to this little girl! But, that is quite a big committment with all that you already have on your plate! I feel so badly for her father! But, you have enough to deal with already and have your own children and grandchildren to worry about! Isn't there someone stable enough in that family to take care of her! I am guessing not if you are thinking of Fostering her~ This is such a very difficult decision. I wish I was stable enough to care for her, but sadly I am also in no position and if I was I wouldn't hesitate! I would make a wonderful Grandma!

It sounds like such a sad situation. I wonder if there is any one you can contact to discuss this with…Child Servicers perhaps or a Social Worker or Counsellor. Of course if you were prepared to foster her, this young girl’s live would turn around and she would once again feel loved and special. You are very kind to consider this although it is not a small decision and I hope you make the right one for all of you. This girl is fortunate to have you in her corner regardless what you decide to do.

If you have what it takes to take in a child, with her own bedroom. If she is willing to live with you then by all means I would do it. I think its a very generous offer which will help the father alot. The father would still get to see her but she will have a stable life and not have to deal with her fathers drama it would definitely help put her in the right direction. I commend you for wanting to do this and I hope if you decide to do it that it works out for all involved. God Bless.

dear pat, you have such a good heart to think of this little girl. talk it with his dad and then talk with both dad and the little girl. you may want to ask other opinions too like the social welfare on what is best before plunging into a decision. you dont want to be dragged into the family mess - whatever that is, so it is best to know some legal implications. am sure you will be a wonderful foster parent and the child will have a wonderful future ahead. ann

Yes, I think you are heaven-sent for this girl. I know that the family would be happy if you make the offer to them and I don't think it is a mess. You are being of help and you will actually be a big help in ironing out he messy situation that the girl is in. I know that you will have your own reward in due time. Just go ahead and follow your instinct.

Hi savypat! You have a good heart. You will always be rewarded by life in more ways than one. As you have put it very well here adopting her would be a very good way of protecting her as well as giving her the opportunity to lead a decent and stable life. At the same time she is still able to see her dad. Why not? You have to convince your family to do so. Inform the authorities if you want to make it legal. This option I think is also wise to adopt. It may save you and your family from unwanted on undesirable accusations later. Good luck in your endeavor! :)

I think you still can help her, but with other people beside you. You can tell your friend that want join you to help her. By doing it together, you will not feel burdened.

Is it possible to discuss this with a case worker or social services, without naming any names? Does the little girl like you, and trust you? It might be best if you befriend her at this time, and offer her a safe haven where she can come and learn about healthy living, emotionally and physically. I do not think you would be able to be a foster parent, due to age, but you can let her know that you would like to be someone she can count on. Let her dad know as well. You might set her up a safe place to come whenever she needs to.

I would say talk it over with the dad first. he might be willing to let you keep her knowing that he could see her when he wanted too. She doesn't need to be taken away from her dad whom she loves. Just a helping hand for her and the dad.

If you really want to do it, I think it would be wonderful for you to foster that child. Think what a difference you can make in her life, set her on the right path and show her she is loved. Children like that so often end up in horrible circumstances and grow up to be unhappy adults. I'm sure it would take a burden off the father, too, as he would know his little girl is safe and secure.

Hi, savypat. This father sounds he is just incapable of taking care of his child. Maybe you can contact DSS. And ask them if you can adopt this child. I am so sorry that this is going on. This is very sad and the the daughter is in a very sad situation here. Maybe you can do offer as much of help that you can.

If you feel in your heart that the best thing that you can do for this little girl is to offer to give her a stable home environment, then you should offer to do this for her. I don't know if there would be financial issues in your doing this, but I've always been firm in the belief of following my heart and that would be a place that I wouldn't be able to make any other decision except for the one that is in my heart. I hope that things are able to work out for this little girl.