Are they a packaged deal?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
May 18, 2010 3:18pm CST
My husband has become good friends with one of his co-workers. The friend is a nice guy and has a lot in common with hubby.. they both really like cars and video games, and that's about it.
Well the friend has a 20 year old girlfriend, who can sometimes get irritating.. mostly due to her age. She's a nice enough girl, but I can only handle her in small doses. She's the type who spends every minute playing with her cellphone (playing disturbing music on it very loudly-and sends or shows me nasty pictures that I don't want to see and have told her this many times), she usually controls any conversation you have, and she rarely has anything interesting to talk about. Mostly she discusses drama in her life, which she creates most of it, and she rarely stops talking about her boyfriend (one minute she loves him, next second she doesn't know, and the next she wants to get pregnant... ow my head!!).
After my party on Saturday my mom and I were discussing this girl. I don't need to be friends with her, and for the most part I don't really want to hang out with her.. unfortunately she and her boyfriend are sort of a packaged deal.
Do you dislike a friend's partner, but deal with them because of the friend?
9 responses
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
18 May 10
oh boy do i ever know!! you bet. heres the thing, my son has started a relationship with a gal in NY many miles away from az. but, she doesnt like me for a few very silly reasons...now,she has a little boy, that likes me a lot. i let him call me grandma and had no problem with him. the way i see it, shes a package deal with him to my son. why cant she see im also into the package deal? my son excepts her child as do i. why cant she except me and stop with the petty jealousy?
not even sure what her problem is. i smoke, but i try not to smoke in front of the little one. hes not going to want to smoke because of me. who wants to be "like" the old ugly wrinkled granny anyway? i said something was "stupid" she said that was a word we dont use around him...you see what im getting at now? anyway, yes i know exactly how hard it is, but lucky you will not have to eventually live with her. i hope..lol.@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
18 May 10
How can your son's girlfriend be jealous of you? It makes no sense.
Though from the couple things you've said here part of me almost sympathizes with her... only because I remember what it was like with my own mother in law who did and said things around my children I didn't agree with.. she'd let them watch the news and I hated that!!
Don't get me wrong though, I'm not trying to take her side, I don't really know what's going on here.. I can just understand why she didn't like it when you said "stupid" in front her child.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
18 May 10
I didn't say that you called her child stupid.. I'm just saying I see her point. Kids pick up on everything they hear, and chances are her son would go around calling everything stupid. We want our kids to be respectful and say how they feel, not just say "that's stupid". If I heard my children using the word stupid I would correct them, because I don't think it's nice for a child to use it in reference to something.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
18 May 10
i didnt call her child stupid. i didnt do any cuss words. she should have had a mil like ive had. its not like i was cussing or anything. whats wrong with saying somethings stupid? just wondering, as apposed to saying the F word and the GD word. i dont even like to hear anyone say the N word in referance to a nationality.
so, that being said id still like to know whats the big deal with the stupid word? am i missing something here? worse words are said on tv and i never once suggested her son watch bad things on tv.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
19 May 10
Oh yes, of course and it seems even here the theory of same gender dislike each others, works. I mean amongst us women I’ve seen that whenever it’s a girls’ gang hanging out, the men (husbands) don’t really bond that well. I’m not generalizing but in office picnics or get-togethers, I’ve seen that husbands of lady employees are quite wary of each other (don’t know about what) and don’t get well. Personally, I can relate with you coz of a similar lady in my life…to be very honest, I dread whenever she calls up and asks for me. Her hubby and mine are colleagues and we’ve been to their place quite a few times. She’s mostly a preachy type with whom you cant even discuss the weather without getting a lecture AND she knows everything! Not bad at heart but she really gets on my nerves and then when she comes over to my place, that’s another torture coz she’ll start enquiring about everything new she’s seeing (from the last time she came over) and then start comparing with similar things she has or about the pros and cons…completely spoils my evening
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
20 May 10
Ya, exactly…but it cant be helped…I bump into her at all office parties and other colleagues’ places all the time
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
19 May 10
Yikes! I wouldn't want to spend a minute around a person like that.. sounds like she's trying to make herself feel like she's better than you, and I really dislike people like that!
@sizzle3000 (3036)
• United States
18 May 10
No they aren't a packaged deal. That only works in certain situations but never when it comes to a girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife situation. If your husband respects you he will find a way to work it out with his friend without adding his buddy's girlfriend. Trust me all you need to do is talk to your husband and things will work out.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
18 May 10
That's not really what I meant... my question was do you know a couple who are a packaged deal. Usually boyfriends and girlfriends don't go to parties without each other, and I wouldn't dream of leaving her out if we made plans with her boyfriend, that would be rude. I can get along with her well enough to include her.. I just won't be hanging out with her on a regular basis.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
19 May 10
Wow that sucks. I feel your pain. What's worse is mine will never go away. I can't stand my sister's husband. I gave him a chance when they first started dating but even then he had an attitude. They were only dating two months when she got pregnant and then they got married when she was 6 months pregnant. I got a long with him briefly but then he was screwing around on my sister and treating her badly. She left him for about 2 months but then they got back together. Now I have to tolerate him and play nice when they are around. He has such an attitude towards my whole family but we just ignore it. My best friend was dating a guy I didn't like either but because she meant so much to me I had to play along. Maybe you can find something you and her have in common and run with it lol.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
19 May 10
That can't be easy when it's family... I imagine most holidays can be major headaches!
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 May 10
I haven't really had to deal with any package deals that I didn't like, thank goodness!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
19 May 10
I don't really dislike her, and I certainly won't act phony around her. When she does something I don't like I let her know. My husband does know how I feel, and he feels the same way, but we can't exclude her when we make plans with her boyfriend.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
18 May 10
Yes..there have been a few different times that I really like someone but their partner is almost unbearable....but I bite my tongue and try to get along.....I can see where there is a total difference in you and that gal....because you are involved with your family etc and she is self involved....makes it tough!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
18 May 10
She's okay in small doses, as I said, but she's young and doesn't drive, so when she gets bored she wants to come hang out with me while her boyfriend and my hubby are at work. That's fine every so often, but once she came over 2 days in a row and I was ready to hurt her the 2nd day! Learned my lesson.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
20 May 10
this part of life sucks. if he's ok and she's not. yeah kinda take both of them. i had the samething. my one friend who i went to school with but her b/f was like so annoying at first.
but now i tell him straight i dont want to hear about this or that, i dont care and i dont care if he think he have a big one. (yeah). i would be straight up and honest with her, if she shows or want to show you pictures tell her she needs to stop. or even talk with your husband about it and have him say something to his friend.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 May 10
Yes, I've recently became friends with a girl that used to be in the same playgroup that I was in. She and I have a lot of things in common, but she has this husband. Her husband isn't exactly the kind of person that I look up to because he acts like he is far younger than what he is, he spends most of his time playing video games and such and gets bent out of shape when his children need him because it takes away from his gaming time. Mostly she and I will go out places so that we can talk because whenver we are at her house it seems like he is eavesdropping on us all the time.
