Have you ever been in a longterm relationship where there was no I love you?
By divineathena
@divineathena (1746)
United States
May 19, 2010 9:53pm CST
A friend of mine once told me he just started a relationship. After 8 months he was still with her. Once when talking he showed frustration towards the relationship. So a question popped up from my mouth. I asked him whether he loved her. He frowned and told me that he didnt believe in distributing love for free. Then when again I asked him whether he said I love you to her he said that since he didn't love her he never mentioned it to her. Another time my another friend told me that he had feelings for his girlfriend, but didn't love her. I had a hard time understanding it.
Have you ever been in a relationship like that? How was it in description? And do you think two people can carry on being in a relationship without love?
6 responses
@OConnell87 (1042)
•
20 May 10
yeah it is strange, my boyfriend told me he loved me the first week we were together then about 5 months into the relationship he told me he didnt love me but still wanted to be with me, and then a month later we were over
1 person likes this
@divineathena (1746)
• United States
23 May 10
He sounds bipolar to me or totally confused about his own feelings in general. I am sorry you had to go through it.
@djemme (77)
• United States
20 May 10
I can't imagine staying in a relationship where the words "I love you" aren't expressed. If there's no love, what's the point? I suppose one could have a relationship of convenience, obviously the other party is aware of the words/feelings that are lacking. If it works for them, I guess it's OK. I couldn't do it.
@divineathena (1746)
• United States
23 May 10
Me neither. Isn't a relationship built on love, trust and respect? If love isn't there then it simply means the other two are missing also. I call such relationship friends with benefits.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
20 May 10
Yes please!-FOR 31 years.
. This is for your question and not the elaboration that followed.
Now, a re you puzzled divineathena? As soon as I read the question I walked up to my husband's room and asked him "Do you love me"? and laughed.[caught him unawares when he was busy with his own reading.] He answered "absolutely" and I asked "THen why have you never told me "I love you?'He countered it with ' "have you nothing else to do?"
So, here is the answer. He has never told me "I love you" but I know there is love between us. THat is why I said that my answer is for the question "Have you ever been in a long term relationship where there was no I love you?"
and not the elaboration because without real love and understanding it is difficult for a couple to stay happy together.
. This is for your question and not the elaboration that followed.
Now, a re you puzzled divineathena? As soon as I read the question I walked up to my husband's room and asked him "Do you love me"? and laughed.[caught him unawares when he was busy with his own reading.] He answered "absolutely" and I asked "THen why have you never told me "I love you?'He countered it with ' "have you nothing else to do?"
So, here is the answer. He has never told me "I love you" but I know there is love between us. THat is why I said that my answer is for the question "Have you ever been in a long term relationship where there was no I love you?"
and not the elaboration because without real love and understanding it is difficult for a couple to stay happy together.@divineathena (1746)
• United States
20 May 10
Oh no Kalav, those guys simply and unsually told that they did not say I love you because they didn't love their girlfriends. I thought that was selfish of them.
@aabuda (1722)
• Philippines
20 May 10
wow. I never think of it to happen. Is it really true? Can it work for a particular person? I mean, in order to have a long term relationship, the two of you should have feelings with each other. But if it does for someone, then, it will work for us? lol
@divineathena (1746)
• United States
23 May 10
I think these days people feel they are too good for anyone. They glorify the way they love and thus become stingy to show it to a partner. I feel they are simply being arrogant.
@divineathena (1746)
• United States
21 May 10
You are right. I guess some people are way too coward to accept the fact that they love their girlfriends.
@divineathena (1746)
• United States
20 May 10
That is what I feel. How can it be possible to stay with someone that long without love? It is puzzling!
