is it right to hate my father?

I'd day your feelings are valid. Even with a separation, that doesn't prevent someone from seeing or trying to take care of his offspring in some way. Kids shouldn't have to suffer because their parents fall out of love with one another. It's never a good situation when that happens. Do you believe your fathers claim of feeling regret over what he did?

life is not fair... i too was not supported by my father, i worked for my education till i finished college, i stayed with relatives doing odd jobs just to get through, you are lucky that you mother was there. as for your father, you have the right to be angry, but that was in the past. do you want to live a life full of anger to him? if not, then it's time to forgive him. whatever happens, he is still your father.

garneta yes you do have reason to dislike him but hatred weighs so heavy on a person its much better to forgive your father for his many crimes and then just let things alone. the thing is in hating you do him no harm but it stresses you out and can make you ill.Forgive then move on. Of course its unfair, but nobody ever said life was always fair.

Is it ever right to hate?? You can choose to be angry and bitter Or you can choose to interact with your father. Get close. Let him know something is wrong. Let him feel what you are feeling. Communication is key in all relationships. With your communication and interaction you carry the ablitity to influence and change him. Children teach parents a million lessons through life. Never let a few hurt feelings stop this from happening.

Hi,my friend you mentioned a common problem which often happens to men. In the world many men love gambling in their spare time. For them, there are some reasons to explain this phenominen:one thing,they gambled to earn money;another one,gambling is just a kind of entertainment if they are not addicted into it. In your account, it seems that you dad was addicted into gambling. He did wrong,frankly speaking. He made serious mistakes in daily life. In the light of this point,you have rights to hate him. However, when you recall all the things that have happened to your dad and you,you will find that all is gone, no more hate exists in your deep heart. From your birth, he has been raising you,giving you money,supporting you,although he gambled. We can say, he never gave up your whole family!! Generally speaking, it is so hard to keep the whole family for him when your mom was abroad. You should understand this. The question is that when your mom couldn't stand this situation,they had to be separated at last.What's more, I often think that each of us has a sigle ticket in our life. So we should cherish this unique chance and learn to forget unhappy things and forgive others. Right??? After all, he was your own dad. He just made mistakes. He was not worth hating in your heart. In a word, forget and forgiveness are great forever!!

that sounded like it is unfair. well, you have a reason to hate him. i mean like, what kind of a father is he. well if i am in your place, i would absolutely hate him and ignore him. he did not support you and he did not do his responsibilities as a father.

I know its really hard to fell those pains that your father brought you.I have also experienced that.My father forged the check accounts of my mom and for that reason we suffered a lot.Our electric was cut off,my mom sent me to the province because she can't feed me anymore and there really a lot more.But you know what?For 3yrs. I'd never talk to my dad and I hated him so much for what he did to us.He also let his girlfriend graduate in college,I mean it is REALLY HARD. But by the grace of God, I've already forgave him..Even our father was the most evil man in the whole wide world we still need to honor them because they are still our father.

its never a good option to hate ur father....coz any moment u will realise that suddenly u need him the most!!yea ur father has some bad habits..y dont u do something to change him..theres no harm in loving ur mother but dont hate ur father

yes, you have enough reason to hate a father like that. but, I think, you must keep being nice to him because whatever your reason, he still be your parents

I think you have every right to hate him but maybe give him a chance

i don't know much about you and your relationship with your father but i do think that what your father did was totally unfair. my mother raised us all by herself my father was totally irresponsible, he never help my mom in supporting us and as i grow up i started asking my mom questions and began to understand the things that is happening from then on hate started to build up. until now i still hate my father and i don't think i can ever forgive him, my mom sacrificed a lot and suffered much because of him. i do think that you have the reason to do so, its like as if he abandoned you right?!

hi garneta, your story is very similar to mine, the different are, that my father is living with his 2nd family, but the 2nd wife doesn't have high education experience, so she is not working. the second different is he never regret the things he has done is the past to our family. at first i was hate my father very deeply, then i realized that hating is not the best way, it only make you more stress and affected to your life and your health. it just like i'm hurting myself but not him. now when i saw him or talk with him, i don't feel any hatred but i can really say that i forgive him. i don't call him dad or father. i'm just using the word "you". i'm just see him as outsider that don't have blood relation with me. for me it was my best way

Your father doesnt care about you so you dont care about him to u hv a reason to h8 him..

No it is not fair that your father did those bad things and that they had a negative impact on your life. But, life does not seem to be fair. We have all done things that we regret. Having come from an abusive home, I find it best to forgive the other person and not hold on to the hatred. The hatred, anger, whatever you want to call it has a tendency to eat away at you while it has no impact on the offender. Your dad did wrong in the past. No it is not fair that you had to deal with his poor choices. But it is better to forgive than to hate. Not just better for him, better for you. While I am making this sound easy, it is not. I am still in the process of forgiving my father for all that he did. Hope this helps.

everyone always crave a harmonious household and loving. husband and wife couple who yearn to be harmonious, parents expect their children dutiful and useful, and the kids expect affection, guidance, example and happiness. roles and responsibilities of each member in a house has been arranged. A father acts as a head of household and is responsible for providing a living for his wife and children in the form of food, clothing and shelter. besides dad duty is to educate children and guide them. While the mother, a role serving the father, and housekeeping, and help fathers in educating their children. our children are obliged to devote to both parents. If this is your father has abandoned the family by not providing a living, then it is a mistake your father and your father's sins, your mother and family may demand it, because it is the responsibility of your father. I am very concerned with your situation and your mother, but no amount of mistakes and sins of your father, your father is the legal parent, for you and your brothers. better your hatred and resentment is not against your father, but in deed and attitude of your father, who ignored the family.

Life isn't fair. You may have many reasons to resent the way your father behaved but you shouldn't hate him. Look at the fact that he very clearly had a gambling addiction. It's normal to look back on our childhoods and wish that some things or many things could have been different or better. But ask yourself this, DO you like yourself? If the answer is yes, then you learned from your childhood and you can do better. At least your father says he regreted his actions which is alot more than many kids get. Holding hatred for anyone in your heart really only hurts you so try to forgive him for his addiction and mistakes.

While I am reading your post, I know you did not sound emotional. I think you have the right to exercise your rights what you think deemed proper. Hating him if that will set you best, that is no problem. My father used to be a drunkard and he use to stir, scare and beat us when he is drunk. Being young those days, I couldn't do anything but cry. Same my mom she couldn't do anything because she is afraid. When my big brother came home from Saudi, without second thought he put him in the jail. The words that I will never forget from my big brother's tongue is, A Father like that must not be treated but prevented. Although my mom, bailed my father out from the jail, we never heard his confesions. Instead, he's always telling us that without him, we will not be able to see the world so we must be thankful to him... I will just do what I think best for my father and I will let God do the rest..

hate is such a strong word...my situation may not be similar to yours because i got it worse than you. what i mean is, my dad turns violent whenever he drank. he doesn't abuse us physically, but he does abuse us verbally. i remember a lot of times when we have to hide from my dad's anger. it would explode anytime. it's like walking on eggshells everytime he's around. as we have gotten older, i realized that, i can't hate my old man. he IS after all my father. and he provided for us no matter how poor or destitute we were at that time.i look at him,observe him and see how old he's gotten.and you know what i felt? that no matter how hard we was with us before, i certainly CAN NOT hate my old man.i actually felt the contrary.instead of hating him, i felt he needed my protection. that he needs me like i needed him to provide for us before. thats why i do it. in small ways.forgiveness...forgive your old man and try to mend things with him.it's hard, i know.but it doesn't hurt to try.he IS, after all, your FATHER

hi there! i think you have some serious issues here. it is ok to be angry but in your anger don't sin, meaning don't hate. we can be angry about the evil things that is happening around us but we can't put the law in our hands and just kill those bad people. what i can advice you is to first forgive your dad. it may be difficult but it is the first step and you can't do shortcuts with it. it you can communicate, the better. next, you go to God in prayer and talk to God just like what you wrote about your dad. don't memorize prayers, communicate because God wants to relate with us. You take care!