Are you raising your kids the way your parents raised you?
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
United States
May 20, 2010 8:03am CST
I have three soon to be four kids, and although I am raising them a little differently then my folks raised me I am still raising them close to how I was raised. I have family though who are definitely not raising their kids the way they themselves where raised. I know we came from rather strict homes but they don't believe in using the word no at all ( I think this is ridiculous personally but that's their business). Their kids are out of control to a point we will not go out in public with them and do as little with them as possible because really the kids are horrible. ( I cannot abide being in a restaurant where kids are allowed to run laps around the dinner table, scream obscenities and what not) Their own Grandparents will no longer go out in public with them and their Great Grandparents have asked the family to leave their home until the kids are under control because they are so crazy. Honestly this would be so embarrassing to me, enough to change my ways but not for them. The worst I think is the evil dangerous things the older child does to the smaller ones (older means 5 by the way). His one sibling is 3 with C.P. and cannot walk or defend himself, the other is 6 months old. The other day I had to stop him from holding a pillow over his disabled brothers face, as well as hitting the baby with a stick ( the baby had a welt across his chest). They do nothing to stop this and just say boys will be boys! The 3 yr. old though physically disabled is very smart and lies worse then a rug, because he knows he will get his way. It is so obvious and his parent think it is great because he "so smart" yes he is and that's great but shouldn't they teach him to use his brains in an honest fashion. I do not mean to rant but a few days with them and I am so crazed by the behaviour and the fact that I had to tell my kids it was OK to kick the crap out of the little bully 9my 5 yr. old anyway) and that I expected her to hit him back. I don't like to instigate fighting and teach them to only defend themselves but when they are around that is the only thing they do, fight them off either physically or mentally.
Sorry back to the point. Are you or do you plan to raise your kids the way you were raised? Do you believe there should be some form of discipline or that saying no hurts their self esteem (that's their reasoning by the way)? What parenting style to you incorporate and would you change it if you saw your kids getting out of hand?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@celticeagle (167071)
• Boise, Idaho
20 May 10
I realized several years back that I was raising my kids like my mom did me. She was very controlling and overly strict. I think in this day and age you have to be but I think my mom just went about it in a rather blunt and over the top way. I don't think we have to today. Just making kids responsible and teaching them the basics is our job. And loving them seems to interfere with that to some degree.
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
21 May 10
Amazing how one can spout things one heard growing up with out meaning to!
1 person likes this
@ersanmiguel (476)
• Philippines
21 May 10
i grew up in the absence of my mother's full time and attention cause she's working and she needed to. i got no complain for that, especially now that i'm a mother too i understand she has to helped my father because we were three siblings. and that's my difference with her cause i have been a hands-on mom and totally devoted my time to raise my child. either way i salute every mother who unselfishly and unconditionally love their children and husband 
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
21 May 10
Yes I know what you mean. There are situations one cannot get around both parents working but something seems to be lost when there isn't at least one parent home to give that security.
@littleone3 (2063)
•
20 May 10
I am mother of five children who are aged 18,17,13,9 and 4.
I have raised them in some ways the way that my parents have raised me apart from the fact that I was smacked and I do not believe in smacking my children.
I have been know to go up to other peoples children and ask them to stop doing something especially if they are trying to hurt any of my children.
I have to agree with you it drives me mad as well when children are allowed to get way with things and nothing is said.
I am lucky as all my children have turned out well and I often get compliments on how polite they are and have been told many times they are a credit to me.
I would be willing to change my ways if something I was doing to discipline my children was not working as we can't get it right all the time and we can try to learn by our mistakes.
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
21 May 10
Yes it is important to adapted your parenting often not just in the whole but per child. I know with my three what works with one doesn't always work with the others.
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
20 May 10
Not exactly. Sure I'm teaching them the whole being considerate of others and have good manners deal but there are a lot of things I experienced being raised by my parents that I didn't agree with as a child I still do not agree with. Example would be that I was not taught how to cook or do laundry. I'm teaching those things to my girls now and let them help me with those things. My parents tried to discourage us from using our imagination because according to some preacher it invited the devil. I stress the importance to my kids each day about using their imagination and how it will help them when they become adults.
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
21 May 10
Funny I was the opposite when it came to chores. By age 10 I was cooking dinner ever night and doing the laundry while watching my younger family members. Often if we did not cook for ourselves we would not be fed anything more then cold cereal for any meal. I too believe that imagination is important something it seems that society has decided isn't so important IE video games and all the movies and TV.
@Zhizho (1350)
• Indonesia
20 May 10
I am a mother of one son. My son was 2,7 years old now. I still learning to be a good mom. I believe that every parents have good will when they raised their children but sometimes thay did not know the way so some way can be make bad caracter for kids.
To be honest, I don't agree about some methode of my parents, so I raising my son with different way but for other side, I raising him with same methode.
Yes, it big thing to be Mom I think. The important is how we create good communication. we don't care How their old, better to begin from early age. Difficult to try it but keep trying.
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
21 May 10
I do not think they intend to harm their kids I think it is actually them being to far the other way and just cannot handle telling them anything they do not want to hear. Unfortunately that is not how the world works.
@Rebeccarogers2010 (269)
• United States
20 May 10
Every parent raises there child different, I peroally will not let my children get hat far out of hand, i may not be as strict as some but my child will not run around wild.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
28 May 10
Well i do but not completely, my parents grew me up a bit of fearness. I want my kids to be bold enough.
