Is it easy to leave someone whom you have loved or married for more than 10 year
By ketping8889
@ketping8889 (302)
Saudi Arabia
May 20, 2010 10:29pm CST
Recently, my good friend had to leave her husband after more than 10 years of marriage and have 2 young children with him. Although her husband was a honest man who doesn't gamble, smoke, drinks alcohol or womanise, she decided to file for a divorce.She found that her husband simply could not communicate, understand her or do much to help her with household chores. Luckily, my friend is a very capable woman who could juggle her work at the office, household chores,fetch her kids to and from their schools and see to their needs.
Her husband cried when she told her husband of the divorce for he knew that she is the most faithful, hardworking and capable woman he can ever find. My friend told me that she has to be strong and live a life which she deserves instead of suffering quietly deep inside her. Many people just coukdn't understand why she waited until now to leave her husband for she has admirers who are professionals who likes her. But my friend stays faithful for her children sake till they can understand why she had to file for divorce. Do you think it is easy to leave to leave someone you loved or had married for 10 years?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@cheongyc (5072)
• Malaysia
22 May 10
I think it's tough to leave a person who is in our companion for a decade. I am sorry to know about your friend's situation. It really takes a great courage and determination to make such a decision.
Understanding is very important in marriage. To share the chores and responsibilities are equally important. I think your friend might need more communications between her and her husband.
Kids are usually the victims of divorced couples. They are in dilemma and confusion because they do not have the wisdom to understand the complexity of the grown up's relationship. But I hope your friend's children can be properly brought up with proper guidance from their guardian. They will understand the complexity one day later.
@ketping8889 (302)
• Saudi Arabia
25 May 10
Thanks, cheongyc(2171). I felt very sorry for her too but once she has made up her mind,she would not turn back. Furthermore, she has waited and given ample chances to her husband for the past decade and yet he still remain hopelessly lost. To make matter worst, he is too stubborn and uncommunicable.Frankly, I think she has made the right decision.
All this while, her children have been witnessing her situation and understood their mother's pain and dilemma. Although it may not seems easy but I can see she is taking rather well and is cheerful whenever I meet up with her. But from your comments, you seems to suggest that she should give their marriage a second chance and to communicate with her husband more and not to victimised their children.Are these your advice to my friend?
1 person likes this
@cheongyc (5072)
• Malaysia
27 May 10
The person who know about your friend's situation is herself. Therefore, it's her who can make the best decision for herself and her family. In a relationship, the most that we can control is only 50%. Therefore, the best that we can only do is quit a relationship if it's not salvageable at all.
@ketping8889 (302)
• Saudi Arabia
27 May 10
Thank you, cheongyc(2171). I do see you point of view. She must have given her relationship a lengthy thought before she make her decision. I guess I am too concern about her.
1 person likes this
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
28 May 10
oh my this hits home so much for me.i have been with my husband for 14 years and have triplet boys and and have had to start a pretty sucessful business from home juggle my schedule and be a father at times for them. it is a little diffrent for me my husband does drink and look at play boy and leaves the boys with me alot more then he ever has them . he has a family of 15 children no one has leant a hand to me with my children. i feel like i could have used some free time 7 years ago and no one would help.this is so understanable to me.the only thing about me leaving is i have a state inspected kitchen that i do wedding cakes this is just a small part of my business i also rent out linens and decorate for weddings.i supose i could start else where it has just been alot of money to start this business. but i dont want to hurt my children. but i am so un happy right now and have no family in the area .i just feel like i need to be free.i know when i tell my husband i want to go he will be nice for a while but will later go on to call me bad names.it is a very hard thing to face.
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
2 Jun 10
yes i guess my whole worrie is how will it afect my children.if they were not here i dont think i would have a problem leting go.
@ketping8889 (302)
• Saudi Arabia
2 Jun 10
Thanks, deedeehall.You are a very capable, ambitious, tolerant and understanding woman. I guess very few would be able to cope as well as you are. I felt so sorry for you as well as my friend because both of you are such great ladies and your spouses are not intelligent enough to value such honourable wives.Anyway, don't be sad but be courageous and decide what you think is best for you and your children.
Whatever people said about you is unimportant but what matter most is your own conscience. Be strong.
Take care.
@ketping8889 (302)
• Saudi Arabia
6 Jun 10
Hi deedeehall. life is about happiness. Most children of strained relationship parents will not be happy either. I think it is good if you can have a discussion with your children to find out how they would react including their ability to cope without their father. If they agree then you have to decide if you can really go on with life without your husband. Strong mindset, positive thinking and strong determination will result in positive outcome. It is also wise to make changes in your life, accept challenges and be courageous. Otherwise, things will just go on the same year after year while you are so unhappy and suffering quietly alone.In this case, you are not being fair to yourself. Furthermore, you may also wake your husband up with your firm decision. He may learn to regret of his attitudes and turn into a new leaf.
I hope you and your family will live a happy life.
@ketping8889 (302)
• Saudi Arabia
25 May 10
Thanks very much, patersh(88). I think it's kind of hard for her but considering her husband's attitude towards her, I can tell that nobody could have tolerated as well as my friend did.Furthermore, it isn't because of love that she has stayed on all this while but it's for her kids sake that delays her decision. Now that her kids has understood her situation, she is more than happy to leave him to pursue the kind of life she wish with her ability and mindset.
She has also claimed that she has actually given up on him long time ago.I actually felt very sad on hearing it but when she visited me yesterday, I would said that her is more cheerful now than she was before the divorce. Even her facial appearance and complexion have improved but you can never can tell what is going on her in the inside, right? But I always wish the best for her.
Thanks again and happy posting.
