Divorcing - how to go about it
By kedralynn
@kedralynn (980)
United States
May 21, 2010 2:54am CST
My mom is finally fed up with my dad and wants a divorce after 35 years. She can't take it anymore. Our home is being foreclosed due to his poor financial ways. He wants to declare bankruptcy as well.
I was curious if anyone had any ideas on how the best way to go about this divorce is. It appears to cost a lot of money to get a divorce lawyer and we don't have that money.
A friend of a friend said she had found a website online that helped guide her thru divorcing her husband (and getting a lot out of it) by herself without a lawyer. However that website doesn't seem to exist anymore and I can't get a hold of this friend of a friend for details.
Any ideas? Or can anyone who has gone thru a divorce give me an idea of what to expect? I'm 27 years old and can take care of myself at this point, but I worry about my mother. I want to know how to help her thru this.
Thanks!
2 people like this
4 responses
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
21 May 10
I'm wondering why she blames him for everything? Isn't it a couple deal when you get married? Doesn't decisions go both ways?
Further, what's the difference of her working her best to be financially better while she's married and when she's already divorced?
When the going gets tough, people consider divorce. When it's happy times - they become selfish.
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
21 May 10
He left us and started a second family....
1 person likes this
@neh357 (173)
• Philippines
23 May 10
Hello friends,
Is your mom aware that it is making you sad? In my opinion, you should seek help from members of the family and try to sort things out. In this situation, divorce is really needed because that would be for the best interests of both parties. You can help your mother by convincing her to pursue this. She must free herself from the burden your dad is giving him.
I am pro divorce because I don't see a point staying in a relationship just because you are married. If i am not happy anymore with my partner, why do i have to stay? Life is too short to waste time in a relationship which is not working anymore.
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
21 May 10
I am very sorry to learn you are going to be involved in such a situation. It sad. My parents have talked about it too, and I was actually mad at them, cause the old school loves to blame on us young ones for their choices to stay together and that is a load of ... anyway, you should visit this sites for references and one of them also could serve you in the future for your personal legal matters:
http://www.nolo.com/
www.prepaidlegal.com
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
22 May 10
OH dear friend. I understand, since I have experienced something similar along those lines. You must stay strong for your mom. I know its very difficult to make peace with such cruel realities. I can never understand why some dads are like that and for sure I know that I will not ever treat my children like that. I have had to deal with very cruel and tragic situations from my dad too. One forgives but never forgets, all we can do is pray for them and be strong. Remember that life is ours to have and to make the best of it, enjoy it. I hope those sites will help. I know at least the prepaid one is very useful. You may have to subscribe to it, but you can all someone reliable anytime of day and night for advice on what to do, procedures, forms needed, offices to file them. They advice you accurately according to your city and state and put you in contact for someone to also represent you in person.
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
22 May 10
Thanks I'll be sure to check out those resources.
It is very sad. Actually when my dad first left us years ago he tried to blame it on me. He said he was tired of fighting with me and he wanted my mom to choose him over her daughters. Which she of course didn't. I'm working hard to make peace with that issue on my own. But I worry for my mother. It's time she did something for herself and if this is what she wants, then I'll support her.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
22 May 10
Hi Sweetie
Here in the UK we have such a thing called Legal Aid which I was entitled to as I was not earning a lot which means that I got my Lawyer for free
So I really do not know how you can go about it over there but I really hope that someone can point you in the right direction
Hugs
@LotRowena (158)
• Philippines
21 May 10
One of the things that hurt me most is when I hear that couples are breaking up and the worst, couples who are going to divorce. Here in my country, there is divorce but legal separation. All I know about divorce is that it takes a long process to be approved and requires much money for attorney's fees. Whatever it costs, it will always be the psychological trauma on each of the couple especially the one playing the role of a victim. It is one thing wherein you cannot simply say Goodluck cause its really hard to separate ways, but I think there are public offices in your local area and other non-government organizations who caters to the needs of those who want divorce.
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
21 May 10
Well he hasn't been living with us for 8 or 9 years now. He has another family. But he keeps spending my mom's money. We just want legally to be separated from him so he can't ruin our finances anymore.
