Long engagement... is it good or can be a threat to your relationship?

In my opinion, long engagements let you know your partner deeply. It's important to know who you're going to be with forever or you might end up blaming yourself in the end for not going through with it.

I never understand people who get engaged but never marry, or take years to marry. For me, when a man says "will you marry me", that is a question which is to be taken seriously and to be executed quickly, and the only time between been "asked" and actually marrying should for me be the saving up, and the planning of the wedding, which to be fair for a lot of people is a couple of years. My sister got engaged 15 years ago, but only married in 2008, 13 years on from getting engaged!!! She planned 2 weddings with her fiance, but somethign always came up, she got pregnant etc. Even though they were living together "as married", they weren't until late 2008. Whereas my husband asked me to marry him in April 2008, and by September we were married, it took us just 5 months to plan the wedding as we didnt have a huge wedding. If you never get engaged then fair enough, many pople dont want to marry for numerous reasons, but I never see the point in people getting engaged if they are not going to marry!!!!

I say amen to that! I think time really doesn't matter, it's all about, how you both feel for each other, and if you're really ready. My boyfriend and I are already going for 4 years, people are asking when is the wedding, I always say, when we have the money to pay for it. LOL. Anyway, we're just taking it day by day, and I know we'll get married sooner or later.

In my opinion, long engagements let you know your partner deeply. It's important to know who you're going to be with forever or you might end up blaming yourself in the end for not going through with it.

Seven years that long? I can't take it. If you really have plans for each other you should have an exact period when to settle down. As a girl, you might have been hanging around, Nowhere to go with your relationship. All the invested emotions fail miserably. You set a goal. Marriage is a continuing process of getting to know each other for a lifetime. How will you know each other without living together? If you are in the mature age, emotionally and financially stable you can go on marriage. I knew so many couples that were into long engagement but ended up vain. In most cases, marrying the new found sweetheart.

I think if you want to get married you'll do it soon. When you meet that special person you know straight away they are the one, then you tie the knot sooner rather then later. If many years go by I think it means you are hesitating and you have to ask yourself why are you hesitating? Many people look for excuses to delay the big day:- not enough money, my parents don't know him enough, too busy at work etc. If you know your partner is the one, why wait? just get married.

Yes, I think you’ve thought it out well. Long-term relations can work over time only if you both are matured and comfortable enough with each other’s dreams and aspirations in life. A lot of people start off in good relations but over time, with career or studies or family getting more importance, their relation fizzles out. So I think if you both are very clear as to what your immediate priorities are and both respect and encourage that, you’ve are on the right path. Marriage is a completely different set of commitments and compromise so be very sure of your priorities before you feel ready to settle down.

if he sees someone along the way your engagement then you are not destined to be together. If he really loves you he will not tempted to taste the other fruit . anyway, just trust him and pray to God that he is the one you are needing to complete your life and vice versa. There is no perfect in this world, you can be fortunate or very unfortunate in relationship. Just be positive that you will end up in marriage as soon as the right time comes. Threat or not, it depends on both of you.

I think a long engagement is just fine. I mean you are talking of spending your lifetime together. I think if someone breaks up with a person because they are not ready to get married then they probabl did everyone a favor. Marriage or lack of it should not be what holds the relationship together or it isn't going to last. Marriage should be a celebration of two peoples liives melding toger

i do not believe in long engagements but long courtship and boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, yes. one should not be engaged unless he/she is quite certain that the man/woman he/she would like to be with for the rest of his/her life is the person he/she is engaged with.

I say amen to that! I think time really doesn't matter, it's all about, how you both feel for each other, and if you're really ready. My boyfriend and I are already going for 4 years, people are asking when is the wedding, I always say, when we have the money to pay for it. LOL. Anyway, we're just taking it day by day, and I know we'll get married sooner or later.

It is used to be traditional to have long engagements. With short engagements come uncertsainty in a relationship. The longer you are engaged, the stronger your commitment is seen to be.

I agree to it, having a long relationship in that state, it is really amazing its the result of trust in both side, and with that span of time being a boyfriend/girlfriend you may truly know each other and accept your differences, and when you both decide to get married there will be no more regrets, unlike the other who got married after several months of relationship sometimes they just starting to know each other, that is the time most conflict in relation happens, and sometimes it turns out to divorce.

hi busywizard i'm also in a 7th year relationship. its fun having each other around were just taking it slow. Since we are still young and still enjoying each others company i don't think it would be a threat as long as you trust and love each other you don't have to worry.

I think it's smart to take your time, get to know the other person and make sure that they're really good for you. 7 years would be a little long for me, but then I'm not so young any more. I think a lot of it depends on where you are in your life. Like if you started dating when you were 14, 7 years would totally make sense. But at some point, if either one of you is still not ready for a commitment, you probably want to ask yourself why.

Well I am with my boyfriend for more than four years and now we are getting engage this year maybe by the end of this year, after my result. We will then be getting married after two more years, I am not mentally prepared for this so I need time to consider everything again. Trust, understanding, maturity and responsibility will be the key factors in a relationship which you expect to last for eternity.

I think that the dating stage is meant for getting to know each other. Once you know enough about each other to decide you want to spend the rest of your lives together, he proposes... if you feel the same way you accept the proposal. After that, what more is there to wait for? Just get married already :)

it all depends on your relationship I guess. if the two of you are comfortable with that and tahts how you want to dela with and go about it then taht's your porogrative and is fine. You shouldnt have to rush marriage for you two when you may or may not be ready just for family friends and THEIR wishes and thoughts. I personally wouldn tgo that long when I was over the age of 20 without a bigger commitment, you know? But if the 7 years started when you were in high school or even younger then there really shouldnt be any rush. If you cant get through a long engagment then you cant get through a mariiage, is how I see it. But you ahve to look out, again, in case it's a stalling tactic or something similar. Just love each other and things will work out no matter what you decide. Communicate what both of you wnat and figure out a rough timeline without setting things instone. Good luck :)

There is nothing wrong with long engagements. Although, it depends how long. We all know that to a women getting married to most of us is a big deal, guys know this too. The question here is who's stalling ? him or you? that is very important and why? I think that you should try to talk to him and plan when to get married. But, remember marriage is not just a piece of paper as some guys put it there is a lot to marriage then just a piece of paper. So, think it trough carefully. Good luck, Kathy