From now on when people say that they are popping in i am going out.

I don't blame you. I don't like this, either. I like for people to call first before they come to see me since I live alone and I'm in and out a lot. I also like for them to call if something comes up at the last minute and they can't make it. This way, I can go ahead with whatever I had planned to do.

Now that is just lack of courtesy. I wouldn't give them the time of day myself. WE all learn who we can depend on and who we can't. I have neighbors who have been taking me for all they could. No more! I will help if it's an emergency but I do hope they don't ask me for another thing! quita

It does sound as if they are really taking for granted that you will be there any time they choose to visit. I would be offended to be treated that way. Have you told them that you do not like it when they do this?

I have a friend that always always did that to me. She'd go out of her way to call me and ask me what I was doing on such and such a day. I used to make sure to be home when she would say she was coming over. I finally told her to stop telling me that she was coming over because it just caused me to sit around waiting and getting irritated with her and I don't want to be irritated with her. I love her...she is my friend. I told her to just pop in when she is in the area and hopefully I will be home. That works much much better for these types of people.

hi jugsjugs I agree thats not nice, in fact its darned rude.so when they do not show up, you just go out then if they do finally show up tough luck Nellie brown, you should keep your word. Its one thing for a friend to call you and tell you they cannot make it because of some problems, then they are being really truly polite.

Ah sounds like you need a new social circle, one that is willing to share sincerity and real friendship, someone that is willing to bring something to share, like true friendship.

i don't blame you for not being with these two individuals. they cannot keep their word. i don't think they are your friends. you are not a doormat. you will find people that will treat you better.

Obviously "popping in" is simply to get you out of their hair. IF they really wanted to see you, whether they "pop in" or just ring your door bell...they would have or at least called to cancel. I'm sorry but if I wasn't any more important to them than for them to tell me they will "pop in" instead of "come for a visit"...I wouldn't put much value in the relationship. I'd return the favor and say.."okay" and then if I needed to go someplace I would and if they complained "I popped in and you weren't there", I'd say.. "well, you didn't tell me when you'd be popping, so I had errands to do so I had to pop out..."

Here I am reading this disussion and thinking 'uh oh' that could ahve been me. I am really not reliable that way but I will get there for friends. I always make sure to tell friends that that is a huge fault I have. I may not make the visits and the phonecalls as I should but when I do turn up or make the call I also make up for lost time. A girlfriend of mine doesnt even bother to wait on me to call. She does most of the calling and visiting and I am greatful for that. Its not easy feeling you have let down your friends so I try my best not to make promises I might not be able to keep. There is this family friend who will say yes to just about everything he's asked to do and he's known for that. He is a very kind and willing person but just do not know how to say no but he is a friend for keeps. Great guy. Sorry your friends let you down JUgs. I dont know if your friends are like myself or the guy I mentioned but I hope they are sincere friends who will make it back up to you and try not to make promises if they cant keep them.

That is mean. I don't like it when people say they are going to do something for me, when they won't. I have a cousin that is like this, she will say that she is coming over and I will wait on her and she never will show up. It makes me mad. She will just tell me anything just so that she can make me believe her. but not anymore.. If I was you, jugsjugs, I would not make anymore plans for these people to come over as company at my home.

Really! Did they know how much you were looking forward to their visit? Some people have no thought for others. If it is convenient for them then they will do whatever but they will certainly not go out of their way. Oh, now you've gotten me going. People now days are selfish, self serving and shallow.

That is very much frustrating!!! the same thing that happened to me last week where a friend of mind invited me for a dinner.. she kept on calling to assure herself that i would be coming despite the fact of being really busy as she knows how busy i am but she insisted me to meet her for pizza.. anyways, the moment i shown up at the restaurant waiting for her assuming she would come! but she didn't!! i waited for almost half an hour or more then i called her up checking if something could have happened! but simply she said [awh sorry i got busy]!!! it really frustrated me out that night!

They sound rude and inconsiderate! I don’t understand why some people say they are going to do something sometimes knowing full well they won’t be doing it! Things do come up and maybe your friends got busy but there is no excuse for not phoning and apologising for not coming over when they said they would. I would mention it to them next time either one promises to come over, I would tell them that they let you down last time and if this continues there will be no guarantee you will be home when they plan to visit!

Unfortunately, today, people have lost the art of friendship and manners. However, just because other people behave badly is no reason that we should. Maybe that is how this loss of manners got started anyway. If the first person to be thoughtless inspired others to treat them the same way, soon the bad manners would escalate out of control.

That's for damn sure. If thy did that to me , they would have lost a friend over it. They can call All they want, I am not answering . and they can Appemt to come over but i wouldn't open the door!

I hate the fact that things that I was taught as common coutesy just are not followed in society today. I am not really old- early 40's and I just feel that people these days have no common courtesy at all. It is a matter of respect to return calls, meet when you say you will, etc. My husband is really bad about telling someone he will do something and then not or telling someone that he will call at a certain time and doesn't and it drives me nuts! That is one of our biggest arguments!

Hi Jugsjugs, With some people the only thing you can relyon with them is to be unreliable, you could try turning the tables on them like Oreo did or just get on and do whatever you want to do including going out and not wait in in case they do decide to turn up. I would feel very let down though and perhaps the next time they say they are going to call round talk to them about why they always tsay they are going to and don't, to them it may not have seemed a definite arrangement a bit like someone will casually say 'see ya later' but it doesn't mean that day. I do think it is very rude of them though. Huggles. Ellie :D

thats bad, letting you wait and not even had the nerve to tell you that they need to do something important or emergency. i dont like people who are like that then they assume that we understand that they can not do what they just said. whether meeting you online or meeting you some place else. good for you that the next time they will say they are popping in, you go out. give them a dose of their own meds.

I would not go out of my way either. If I did seem them at the door I wouldn't entertain them or would only for a few minutes. Sounds like they need a refresher course on manners.

we're still here for you jugs xx