Pictures of the deceased at a funeral?
By shoreboy31
@shoreboy31 (1433)
United States
November 16, 2006 12:10pm CST
I attended the funeral of my ex-wife's stepmother. During the viewing one of the sons was weilding a polaroid camera, and taking pictures of people next to the deceased and handing them out. Now, granted this was taking place in a small redneck town in MS where the most formally dressed person actually had sleeves on his t-shirt. The viewing was held in the living room of a small house-trailer. When I was asked if I wanted a picture with the deceased I said no. Was I wrong in doing so? I later found out that this is a family trdition in my ex-wife's family, and she had pictures in our photo album of all of her deceased relatives in their caskets. Is this a common activity at funerals, or is it simply disrepectful? I'm leaning towards disrespectful. How about you?
8 people like this
21 responses
@deeds14 (815)
• United States
16 Nov 06
I don't know.. I mean, people experience greif in different ways. If having a picture with the deceased is going to make them feel better and remember them, I guess it isn't so terrible, as long as it's respectful. To me personally, it seems to be making a mockery of the deceased.. sort of like how people take their picture next to something funny. Interesting situation. I'm sorry for your loss.
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
29 Nov 06
I think it is a bit tacky, but if it is thir tradition than it isn't disrespectful as the departed had to have been aware of this tradition. It is also not wrong of you to not want your photo taken at the casket as it was not comfortable for you. I understand that it is polite to participate in other's traditions but you should always draw the line where you are uncomfortable or it completely conflicts with your beliefs. Hopefully all others will understand but be glad that you attended.
1 person likes this
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
16 Nov 06
I guess everyone deals with it differently. No, you were not disrespectful. I would not want to be remembered in a casket.
1 person likes this
@shoreboy31 (1433)
• United States
16 Nov 06
but why would you want the last memory of them to be the saddest one? wouldn't you much rather want to see them when they were alive, healthy and at their happiest?
@beckyomg1 (6756)
• United States
25 Nov 06
ok im not sure on this one. it sounds a bit strange though. but if it is a family tradition more power to them. but i dont think that you were disrespectful saying no that you did not want your pic taken.
@ChewySpree (1832)
• United States
16 Nov 06
I have never heard of people doing that, but it could be a local or regional thing. I know we had different traditions where I grew up than we have where I live now. I still have never heard of anyone taking pictures of or with the corpse though.
1 person likes this
@shoreboy31 (1433)
• United States
16 Nov 06
I guess it was a family tradition...because I have never since seen it anywhere else...
@euniceeleanor (5966)
• Singapore
26 Nov 06
Wow! That's a very weird tradition. This is the first time i've heard about it. Thanks for sharing! it sounds kinda gross though!
@rracers89 (3246)
• United States
26 Nov 06
I would not do this but I know people that have,what ever floats there boat i guess
@Poison_Girl (4150)
• United States
26 Nov 06
Wow, that's pretty weird. I've never heard of anyone doing that. I don't know if it's necessarily disrespectful, though. I suppose it just depends on the family and everything. I think it's kinda odd. No offense to anyone here.
@shoreboy31 (1433)
• United States
26 Nov 06
Yeah...trust me I thought it kinda odd when I was asked if wanted a picture...
@Crystalwatson345 (441)
• United States
5 Dec 06
well i think it is disrespectful and just gross man that makes me sick Im glad you didnt do it lol
@shadowauror (1515)
• India
25 Nov 06
i guess it couldave offended the person if it was tradition .. but her wasnt ure fault ... oh well disrespectful?? im not too sure about that !!
@meeoww (1174)
• United States
16 Nov 06
Gracious golly wow. I don't even know what to say. Weird. BUT, I guess if it's their tradition and they take it seriously, then that's up to them. Just good thing you found out so that you can make sure that it doesn't happen to you, eh!! Never heard of such a thing. The only thing like that that comes to mind is, remember in the old west days they used to publish pictures of the outlaw gangs when they were shot & killed? Pine boxes all lined up and stood up on end? Maybe her family had alot of outlaws and so it was "just the way that it's done?" Dunno. But at least they were courteous enough to ASK you if you'd like a picture and not just assume that you did and..."SNAP!" Eeeuuww, yuck! Aloha!
