How do you know when God is talking to you?

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I had a discussion with my nine year old last night about how she is supposed to know what it is that God wants her to do. She was having a problem with a friend at school and said she kept trying things and nothing was working. I told her maybe she needed to stop doing what she wanted and do what God wanted. This led to a very interesting discussion on how you know what it is God really wants. She asked me why He can't just tell her himself. I explained God doesn't work like that but rather through people. We talked about reading the Bible and understanding what God wants for us that way. She left the conversation saying she would try but still seemed really confused. It is so difficult to put these things into words. Any suggestions on the best way to explain listening to God to a nine year old?