Do you think some people do not deserve the person they are with.
By jugsjugs
@jugsjugs (12967)
May 24, 2010 4:01pm CST
I was chatting to a few friends the other day about people in a relationship, where as one of them would do all they could to keep the other person happy,yet they are treated really nasty by the person who was getting treated like royalty.Do you feel like some partners do not deserve to be with the partner they are with.
10 people like this
45 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
25 May 10
Yes I do believe that. You see these situations all the time. I have to think that the people that cater to the people that treat them really poorly are in the relationship that they FEEL they deserve to be in. I think it is a sign of low self-esteem when really good people stay with mean partners.
1 person likes this
@betlynfrnds (4069)
• United States
25 May 10
Oh yes, absolultely, without a doubt!!! I am good friends with a man that I also work with. He is the sweetest, kindest guy I know. He ranks right up there with my father.
He was married for over 30 years to a woman who had not one bit of respect or love for him. My friend said to me that his ex made it very clear to him that they were not friends. She treated him like dirt.
He never deserved that treatment and she certainly did NOT deserve to be with such a wonderful man.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
24 May 10
jugsjugs,
Plenty of times!
Misfits, incompatible, unlikely partners and whatever you want to call it, is just prevalent and getting rampant, too. Not only do we see how some partners simply do not deserve the other, we have some that does not deserve to be in a relationship in the first place.
However, I suppose the world is fair in this sense where it would be totally be no redemption case for these undeserving people and most of all, experience what love is all about. Love is freewill and yet works in mysterious ways.
On the extreme end, we may always say that love is blind in these situations but I'd say love has no boundaries and limitations. A love for some who will find it challenging and hard to give - Unconditional Love.
@fabisf04 (4)
• United States
25 May 10
This is so true...every1 tells me i myself am too nice and deserve some1 who treats me ryte but yet I am still in love with my boyfriend who isnt that nice ...but hey u live and u learn...plus i think people often stay in realtionships like these because they think thhey can change the person
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
25 May 10
Hi,, jugsjugs. Yes, I really feel that some people don't need a certain person in their lives. They don't treat this person with all of the love that there is. It is so sad. And it is very wrong to do a person this way. It was like this for me in many relationships that I have had. That is why I may have broken up with the men in my life because they were not doing right by me. I could no longer put up with being dismissed. It is best to leave a person alone that does not make you feel happy. It only adds to more stress when they treat you like second class.
1 person likes this
@anuraa32 (2446)
• India
25 May 10
I have seen that happen here in India so many times. One reason being that the girl child is thought to be a burden by many. And marriage has taken on this god like status. People find a guy so that marriage can take place. Only so that marriage can take place. This instead off liking a guy and then wanting to get married.
Therefore first guy who seems to fit the bill of the family, the girl gets married whether she has liked him or not. Many people, in India, the girls, get married for the sake of getting married not because they love and like the guy and married him because now she wanted to spend her life with him.
So yes I have seen many cases where the wife doesn't deserve the treatment she gets from her husband and her husband's family. So does she deserve the person they are with? Yes, because she decided to put herself into the situation and she herself cant make herself come out of the situation.
1 person likes this
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
26 Oct 10
Oh for sure.
I know of quite a few couples who don't deserve to be in a relationship alone, never mind considering dating. I don't like when people take their partner for granted, I mean those who sit around while their partner does it all or the one's who fleece their partner for money so they go out shopping.
Makes you wonder whatever happened to real love.
@janiceancajas (227)
• Philippines
4 Jun 10
It is really unfair for a one sided relationship, which only one who always give and the other one always receive and your goodness is not reciprocated. All of us deserve to be with someone who treat us very well. But, in this world where sometimes balance of nature takes place. Where negative and positive people should be copulative to be a perfect pair. Do you agree with that? I agree with this one but to be in a relationship where both of you is different in so many ways. You should spell out first each others likes and dislikes what you want in a relationship to work things out. You should have an open communication and draw the line where one should respect and give in to each ones weakness. But if your partner really insist on doing on their own way and your partner will never respect you by making actions that you will feel ignored and not love then it is time for you to separate with that kind of person because you are not getting good future of that kind.
Before you commit yourself to a relationship, you should respect yourself first because you can not give what you do not have.
@doormouse (4599)
•
24 May 10
definatly,i joke about my partner sometimes,about how annoying he his and the amount of weight he's put on,but everyone knows i love him and i'm just blowing off steam
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
24 May 10
I think that alot of people tend to say alot of things in the heat of the moment, but that is nothing compared to how some people treat their partners.Lol you want to hear what me and my partner have said in the past to each other it has been really nasty and cruel to each other.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
27 May 10
I am in complete agreement with you over this situation. I can actually think of two situations where there is one member of the couple that does everything in their power to keep their partner happy while the "princess" of the relationship is constantly chewing the other member of the relationship out. My brother's situation is the worst though. He will change his plans to make his wife happy only to be fighting with her by the end of the day because he did something else "wrong."
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
24 May 10
Wow. These people deserve better. If they just get treated like trash then they's better with someone new. I've been in a relationship like this. My gf then was very submissive. I knew later on that she was battered by her previous bf that's why she acted like that. She always wanted me to make her decisions and all. It was wrong for me. i tried to change her but i couldnt. i just ended the relationship cuz im really not used to being treated like some prince. my idea of a relationship is it should be a two-way street. give and take. but our in relationship she was always giving and giving and i didnt want to take advantage of her so i ended it.
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
24 May 10
You are right.But there are alot of people out there that do not mind being treated good all the time even though they treating the other person like a doormat.I am like you in the respect that it is give and take in a relationship aswell as if a person treated me bad i would tell them and not let it keep happening.
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
24 May 10
I have a good friend who is a very wonderful person. He bends over backwards to please his girl. And she does not return the favor. She is demanding, needy, and yells at him every time he makes a tiny mistake (like buying the wrong brand of peanut butter!). I think he could do better. However he believes he loves her. And that she loves him. This is his choice to make. I have told him I think she uses him. But in the end, it is up to him whether or not to stay. I won't meddle, but I see his unhappiness sometimes. I wish I could find him a better girl.
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
24 May 10
I know what you are saying as a friend of ours is being treated horrid by the person that they are with and they are not happy and you can see they are not happy as in all the photos that are taken there is not even a smile where as the other person is smiling like a cheshire cat.Our friend do not smile any more and they do not chat to their friends like they used to if anything they are very quiet.
@juggerogre (1653)
• Philippines
24 May 10
That kind of treatment happens in some relationship. And yes some people do not really deserve the person they are with. They either deserve better or worse. Your friends that are being treated badly should starting thinking about himself/herself. They deserve better.
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
24 May 10
I think you are right,but they are not strong enough to walk away aswell as that they have put alot of money into the house that they are living in together as when they first met he was the one buying things for the house like cookers etc that were needed and all the other things that the person wanted aswell as fetching and carrying for the person.
@manousina (117)
• Greece
24 May 10
i believe that everyones takes what he worth.
We are responsible for ours decisions....
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
25 May 10
well that is tough. Unless you are the actual person how can you really say the other person isn't being nice. There are always two sides to every story. Sometimes people are just not a good match. They might have things that really bother them about the other person. And they are really trying to make a go of it. This happens more than it should and I think thats why there are so many divorces. As far as me deciding that they are not deserving, at times its a pretty good assumption because you see the person being so nice and the other person is just plain mean and doesn't
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
25 May 10
Yes there are these types of relationships around. it is sad that the giver doesn't realize he/she will never receive in return.But hopefully they will wake up and realize they Deserve to receive and leave the A$$hole they are with.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
26 May 10
I am skeptical of one-sided accounts. It's often the case when you hear one side of the story, to conclude the other person is awful. But so often, there's another side, that you are not hearing, which is just as valid.
And then sometimes the person you think doesn't deserve it, really does. If I get a stick, and decide to hit myself in the head with the stick, and yet everyone tells me not to... do I deserve a massive headache? Yes I do.
One specific girl, I'll never forget. She came to church with this guy, who was a complete loser. She was the nicest most caring person, but he was a just a snot head. Awful guy.
Everyone told her, bad plan. This guy is whack. She ignored them and planned to get married. The pastor of our church, set her down, and told her directly that he refused to marry them because it was an awful choice.
She ignored him too. They married at another church. He abused her, and threatened her, the police had to be called, they separated, and eventually divorced. Did she deserve it? Sadly yes.
Amazingly, people never learn. A girl that was in the church at the time, was angry at the pastor for talking about the prior woman, and then proceed to get with a guy that every warned her against, and he beat her physically. Did she deserve it? Sadly yes.
So no, not everyone does deserve who they are with... but sadly most really do. They made choices that put them with someone awful.
@karen1969 (1779)
•
25 May 10
Yes, this does happen sometimes but I think it is up to the people involved to decide if they are happy with this treatment or if they want to leave. It is a similar case with women who are hit by their partners - some stay, some go. My ex-husband hit me once and I left him the next day. I wasn't going to be treated like that!