Nobody can take advantage of you without your permission

Well I have no problem showing people the door when they are uninvited and I will make it clear of my expectations. I have a couple of friends and a relative who get on my nerves because for what ever reason they feel they need to be nice to anyone or everyone, even if it means bending of over and taking it up the sunset LOL, forgive my expression, but they sure get under my nerves. Little do they know I am running out of patience for their nonsense.

I suffer this all the time! And not my spouse but father who does not co-operate in being firm! He in fact blames me for being firm. Take for instance this morning. I have categorically mentioned that my relatives are unwelcome in my life. My family friends have accepted my contention. My relatives were never there for me when I was young, i.e., lost my myother around 5 and a half. So I was in hostels, nobody visited, no letters, no mails, no greeting cards, just nothing. Suddenly they want to get into my life. I cant develop any affections for these strangers. If they call themselves my relatives then they are still worse, as it was their duty to have been around when I lost my mom. I have explained this to my family friends. Most of them understand. One of them doesnt. Periodically (once in three weeks or so) he tries to peddle one of the relatives. Last time it was one aunt, today it was another uncle. Of course, I blew my fuse. They are asking me to forgive. I categorically asked them - you all dont forgive but you all expect others to. He has not been accepting no. He says we should adjust, when the people who err dont say sorry - forgiveness leave alone adjustment is absolutely impossible. If I have to go to hell for this, so be it. But forgiving such people is not the right thing according to me. Dad doesnt support me on this. :(

When I was a teen I wanted to be one of the gang, the popular people but now I see I could never be because I was and still am too independent. Not only would I say no, but I Mean it.No peer pressure. So I wouldn't even open the door if someone , Anyone came over to my place without emailing first. I hate phones so it would be Online. I never will have inlaws so I won't have to worry about them. And hopefully my friends will believe me when I say, I don't answer my door if I am not expecting company.

Was that me or is it just that common for in laws to show up unannounced? Nobody really takes advantage of me.. the in laws used to, but they wouldn't be happy with the results when they did. Hubby is the type that lets people take advantage of him. He's basically a doormat. I've helped him grow a bit of a backbone over the years.. of course that backfired because he'll stand up to me but still let co-workers walk all over him.. grr!

Someone should mention this insight to the soppy, whining liberals who have sold our freedom for a "mess of pottage", so they finally get a nodding aquaintance of the RUIN they have done to a once-free country and to themselves by giving power to destroy us to a savage America-hating madman and his gangster henchmen. (Oh, yes, Ann Landers was right in her perception.)

Dawny, i am to rude for someone to even consider walking over me. That's going to freaking hurt. TATA.

I am the type of Person that would not dare or have ever dared to do that It is easy enough to say to do this but it is actually having the Nerve to do it

Saying no to somebody who is close to you will be a difficult one, but capability of saying no is good one . If they are taking disadvantage of silence or not saying no , than yes you better say no rather than hearing something from them at latter stage

I've always been too soft. If I ever said "No" to anyone for any reason I was very uncomfortable or suffered the most awful feelings of guilt. I have to disagree that people don't take advantage unless you let them. My elderly Dad is being continually ripped off these days. Items are going missing from his home and the shed. He gets charged twice for things and he is way overcharged as well. There is one company who I don't trust one bit. He called them out to fix a water pump a while back and they said it was irreparable and sold him very expensive new one. It's a sealed unit. It has not worked properly since it was installed and he called them again a short time ago and again they said the pump was irreparable and installed another extremely expensive new one. The original should still be under warranty. They know Dad is very old, very forgetful and has plenty of money.

most of the time, i just deal with my wife. i would rather do this than be firm with my point of view or else, the house will turn red because of the heat.

Usually if somebody drops by my palce i dont answer the door. I rent a place in the basement of a house. I can not see out side to see who is knocking so i will not answer it. Most of the time i can not even hear them knocking. The area where im at is way on the other side of the basement. Its really rude for people to just drop by without calling first.

I have been taken advantage of and I guess it was my fault for trusting them but at the same time..I would have never done it to a friend. I stick to the saying..Fool me once..shame on you..fool me twice..shame on me.

Yes, easy to say, but hard to do at times - though I do agree that nobody can take advantage of you without your permission. This is something I say to a bunch of my friends - often - yet sometimes I need to eat my words. I never let people walk all over me - but there are times when my foot gets stepped on. I am more firm about things these days than I ever was before - maybe it gets easier to do with age because we are less tolerant (with the wisdom that's supposed to kick in??)? I can't stop people from "trying" to take advantage, but I do take the responsibility to say it would be my own fault if I gave in. I can't say I can think of anyone who actually takes advantage of me. There are friends who are flakey, don't keep their word, or burn my ears off . . . but I know there are other good qualities about them that I still keep them as friends. Let's just say I let things slide with those that I know who have good intentions.

I may let someone walk on me for a little while, but when it's enough...that's it. And if they don't get it, then I really can be a cold bytch. I don't say much, but I react. And usually the way I react is to turn away/walk away and when that happens, I don't turn around. All they see is my back...

You teach people how to treat you, by the way you treat yourself. Just like Anne Landers said, no one can do to you what you don't give your permission to do. like everything in life it takes time, but you must teach peopole how to treat you! not only is it important, but it's life changing!

There will always be people who try to over run others but the line must be drawn by you. I do not take kindly to being bossed at all and have developed a nature of disregard for whoever the offender is. That has helped me to not be mindful of anyone so that even if they do get to trample on my feeling a few time I get in control and pll that rug from under their feet. I do not like to be unhappy and therefore hate dealing with persons who may make me unhappy.

Nobody likes being taken advantage of. It is degrading to both sides. Nobody can take advantage of you without you allowing them to do so. When you say or do nothing to stop it, you are giving them free access and permission tgo walk all over you. If it is done once, it will be done again. Only you have the power to stop someone from taking advantage of you ever again.

I think that saying is true. I guess people do take advantage of me but I never really feel that way. I am always willing to do just about anything to avoid unpleasantness, so I would probably let anyone do anything rather than fight with them. I try not to take advantage of anyone, but sometimes I guess you can and don't realize it.

yes i am every day dealing with my mother in law. she is taking more advantages from me. if she get caught from anything she use me for her.

Short of the people being violent and doing physical harm if you stand up to them, if they aren't harming you like that then it is on you that you are being taken advantage of. I have a friend who is 37 years old and her parents consistently take advantage of her, she knows this and despite her occasional excuses she knows that she is enabling them doing so. If she refused to put up with such behavior and insisted on being treated with courtesy they wouldn't be able to take advantage of her.