People who always ask for advice but never take it

I have a lot of friends who do that. They always ask my advice and I like to think I'm pretty good at giving it out. But it's discouraging to find them always doing the opposite of what I suggest. Then when things don't work out they come back to me and complain that things didn't work out. Well things didn't work because you didn't do what I said to! Now I know I don't know everything but I've had enough bad experiences in my life to have learned what's best to do in certain situations. When I know for a fact what I'm saying is right, it does drive me nuts when they don't listen. Why ask the advice if you're doing to ignore it??? *sigh*

Yes, there are some people out there who want the opinions of others. However, when it is given, they do the exact opposite. Then when that happens, you wonder why you eve bothered and why they even bothered. It can be very frustrating. I do enjoy when people at least consider what I have said. However, there are some people where you can just tell that they are just wasting time all around. I do not expect to have the answers to all of the earth's problems. However, there are things that happened to me, that I feel that that I can give some good advice. There were many times where people refused to even take what I said into account and then they fell on their face. It would have been funny, if it wasn't so sad. They should have seen that coming but I guess that was too much to hope for.

I no longer give advice because nobody listens to me. For instance, my son got a good job with his dad and was looking for an apartment. I told him to find something cheap and put money in the bank for hard times. 6 months later, his dad had to lay him off (because he doesn't save money even though every year at this time the business dries up), he hasn't saved a cent and he has just $200--his rent is $800. And he let his dad talk him into getting a brand new car months ago which he will now probably lose but at least his dad is the co-signer on it. I'm the only one in my family aside from my brother that has a savings account with more than $50 in it. Nobody listens to me so I no longer give advice.

I have this coworker who always asks me what I would do if I was her. She's constantly having marriage problems and my advice to her is to allow space and time to come between them or just leave him already. She never ever does what I say and then for one week everything is peachy then the next it's back to the same old thing and again she comes to me and asks what she should do. It's too much drama for me and now I just try to avoid talking to her about it. It's very difficult because we both work full time and she's on the exact same shifts as I am on. Take care

its so annoying. the in laws are like that. I'm a fully qualified computer technician, but they'll still go to an expensive computer store that will sell them things they dont need, rather than ask me to build them a cheap computer and if I ever advise them to do anything, they will act like they're listening and then they'll completely disregard what I've said and go and do exactly the opposite. So annoying! I just let them get on with it nowadays or give advice with the mindset that they'll ignore it anyway so that the occasional times that they listen to the advice it feels like I'm appreciated.

Oh yes! I know many people like that (and then of course I'm the one with the lending ear - so I seem to attract these types). My "friends" used to come to me when they needed a shoulder to cry on and seemed to always want my opinion on things - and I'd give it to them straight out - though they wouldn't take my advice (and they kept having the same problem). And it seemed the more blunt I was (my ploy to get rid of them), the more they kept coming back - I hated it. So these days I just don't get involved anymore (with family, I don't have the time anyway) although I may still hear them out. One example that sticks in my head . . . a friend who always had negative things to say about herself and she ALWAYS seeked adviced from everyone, not just me. And it was the same sob story all the time . . . why aren't I sexy, why can't I get a date, why don't I have a boyfriend, why don't I have a good career, why don't I blah blah blah. Maybe if she stopped asking why why why and actually took action with her life (like take any one of the many advice she had been given), she would have gotten somewhere. But no. She wondered why everyone had to be so "mean" about things when she needed an ear . . . well heck, she kept coming back for more like a martyr (I'm sure everyone else was frustrated with her same crap) - it's like she wanted the sympathy, not really the advice. And in a weird way maybe this behavior was the only way she knew how to engage in a conversation with people. I don't mind giving advice. But if I see a pattern where I'm wasting my breath and I might was well talk to a wall, then the advice giving stops here.

Analysing people istelf is very difficult, there are some people who hear what you say but dont apply as they dont want what you say, there are people who dont like to hear you at all even when they know you are rght

I have a couple of friends who are like that...specially when it comes to their love life. They would ask advice on what to do and how to deal with it, but end up doing the same thing. What irritates me is that they keep asking for advice for the same problem, and you know, they know exactly what to do...but they just won't do it.

That sounds vaguely familiar :D Actually I have a friend who just operates totally differently from me, and she often asks my opinion, but doesn't often take my advice. She does like to hear it though. it helps her sort her thoughts out. I'm not offended by that.

Hi jess, There are many such people around who come and ask for advise and you give it with a lot of apprehension, knowing that it may not be taken in the manner in which it is given, and then they do exactly the opposite and come and tell you I did so and so, just as you told me , but things went wrong.I tell them I dint say that, then they tell me OH ! I thought you did, or may be someone else did !.....Honestly the mess you can get into by giving advise to some.. lol...My maid is a typical case who always asks for advise with me and half a dozen other people as well, and may be take bits and pieces out of those and make up her own little mess and when things go wrong she will blame all...I tell her now very strictly not to ask me anything, but she does anyway and I still dish out what i think is right..All the best and have a nice evening

I have a friend, she is married , she always complains though to me about every of her problems, she asks me to advise her because I have already done family law so she thinks I will be able to help her, she asks for advices, I give, however she never takes it, this upset me of why i should be giving it in the future. She will always do what she thinks the best and when it turns to the worst then she comes to me to ask for advices. Now I prefer to avoid her a bit because she tells everyone that I give her advices but in fact she does what she thinks if the way to do it.

It always happen to be alot. Actually, everyday happen to me at home. I have a friend who is living in the same apartment and I always give him advice on many things especially the financial matters. However, he tend not to listen. I am sometimes irritated because in the end, he will just be crying because of what he has done, that he had spent all his monies for nothing. He cried more because he could not pay his bills on the right time. I am very upset but I cannot do anything. No matter how I want to explain again and again, he will never learn. I hope that sooner or later, he will realize his spending habits and is willing to listen to his friends because he will never see his mistakes but from the people around him.

My cousin is just that kind of person.He calls me about 100 times a day to tell me or ask me about different things but he never listens to me.I feel as if I am talking to the wall.I say something and says something else which is on the contrary of what I think.Why then he still keeps on calling???

There must be something going around like an epidemic in the air. I am the one that all come to for advice and my opinions. Nice, I feel honored. However, there is a handpick of those that just don't seem to get the directions of their choices. I have one particular friend that, wows me every time. She really doesn't think for a second about the crisis in my life at the moment. She will call me 2 - 3 times a week, conversations are never less than 30 minutes and can last up to 90 seconds. She will never give me 2 seconds to fully explain anything that is going on in my life as I can immediately sense something is wrong in hers. It's the point where I just listen, until I just can't listen anymore. Once I hear; Is this right? What would you do in my position? After my responses, I can sense her lack of enthusiasm, her change in her response tones and her quick to be done with the call. I do get yes, I know. I will never let this happen to me again. I am going to set things right now. Okay so I flinch for a second and she is right back where she started. Okay what is wrong with some people, is this an attention craver? We all make wrong choices and we all do not always get good sound advice. But when you ask what would you do? The responses being as clear to a monkey as day, then you asked because? It is to the point where sometimes I just don't answer her call. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to be a bad friend. But really in 3 weeks I have heard and advised enough to create a full season of a soap opera.. Well after 15 years of friendship, when do you say; enough already why do you ask?

My mom is like that… she’s forever lost, forever trying to find the best way to do a certain thing and forever calling my up seeking my advise. Of course I’m all used to it by now so I just tell her what I think the best but I know that ultimately she’ll do what she feels the best. Many times in the past I’ve confronted her as to why does she seek my advise if she doesn’t use any and every time she thinks of some excuses which make my advises seem so unrealistic LOL.. I used to feel bad once, now I’m used to her so I don’t take it to heart, neither do I expect her to take my advises seriously. I just tell her what I feel and leave it at that.

I also experience it and its fine with, its like they just gaining some ideas about my opinion or advise to their problem, even if they don't do %100 of my advise its OK for me as long as they may solve their problem.

already experienced it :) i had no problem giving advices and opinions honestly i love to help but if they will not use it, its fine with me also anyways they are the ones who will decide for themselve

Yeah it's true because it always happen .. When you're not the one who has a problem I can say that we are that confident to give advice to other people but when we are the one who need advices ,WE don't even have the courage to listen ..

I have also have a friend who always draw me for an advice and I did gave advice for how many time and yet he never takes it.... What I did is that I told him straightly, what is the use of my advises if you your self will not take it? You better stop coming to me or else the same words I will give to you.

yep. it's really irritating since all you do is give them advice but yet always taking it for granted.