Lowering yourself to their level

I tend to walk away from situations like that. If I'm facing the person who is treating me badly, my natural reaction would be to stare at them for a few seconds, shake my head and then walk away, without saying a word. I don't care what they think of me for doing that, either. People like that I won't give a second thought to; they're not worth my time and I have much better things to do, even if that means watching the grass grow. I used to try to please everyone. That's something my mother did to me a long time ago but, luckily, I recognized it and was able to get over it. Once I realized that I was good enough and didn't need to prove myself to everyone, I felt sooooooooooo much better! So, these days, it's very easy for me to walk away from people like that and not give them another thought.

It used to upset me but now I just tend to shrug it off because, I came to the conclusion that, if people are treating me badly, they are not worth taking any notice of. I am what I am & I do what I do. I do my best to be a decent human being & whether people think thats good enough or not is up to them.

Hi Dawn I just have one answer to this I am me and that is who I stay I do not lower myself to People's level it is up to them how they want to behave I used to believe the Ex Husband that I am nothing special, a waste of space and all that but now I know I am not so let People say what they want

I about drove myself crazy trying to be all things others expected or requested of me. I was a total failure, and they all knew I would never amount to anything. Then the light dawned, I don't have to please anyone but myself, if I am doing what I need to be doing that is all that matters. If by chance this pleases others around me it's just a bonus, if it doesn't well WTF

Well those kinds will bank on you feeling as if somethings needs to be proven. You have to chose your battles and some people do need to be taught a lesson or two on humility and respect. Its not so much about lowering yourself to them or proving them right or wrong is about stamping a very good mark on them and reminder as to why its a bad idea to mess with you.

Dawny, i have learned a long time ago, to ignore people like that. I won't lower myself to their level, but i won't stand for their sh$t either. You take me for what i am, know me for what i can be and get lost if you dare insult me. TATA.

Nice discussion topic dawanald! We do come across people like this and it is a difficult decision we have to take. I feel that we should not[ a capital NOT ] go out of our way to be good to them. We need not behave badly because this would also not make us happy; but we ought to keep ourselves from hurt and so we should not take extra pains to do something if they ask us to do, especially if this 'something' is out of the way for us. FInally, when we do something we should mentally do it with resignation that we are not going to be appreciated and worse still we are only going to be run down.But still if we have decided to do something for our own satisfaction we can take this course of action. However, whatever this is , it must not place a burden on our own selves in any way. It is easy to take the high road with these people but what I am trying to say is that it is not worth it.We should not try to prove them wrong for the sake of it because there is no end to it. Such people would continue in their merry way.

I welcome someone thinking I'm evil. That way they leave me the f@ck alone. I will act the same exact way I have always done. It is great when people don't expect good from me. Then I casn either Totally ignore them or if and when I feel like it, make sure they Never want to be around me , Ever. It is so freeing to Not Have to reach a high standard.

I got divorced last year and my ex was mean, nasty, slandered me and was really horrible during the divorce, went back on his word and every mean thing you can think of. I just ignored his behavior and treated him as fairly as possible. My friends and family said I treated him too nicely but my response to that was, I don't have to live with what he has done, but I do have to live with what I have done. So I behave in such a way that lets me sleep at night. I don't want to lie in bed at night and regret my behavior or things I have done. So I try to treat people as fairly as possible or at least try to, I do lose my temper sometimes and become nasty and mean--no one is perfect after all.

Depends on who it is I guess. I think I get sucked in pretty easily.. I don't like people to think they got one over on me, and I like revenge.. so I guess I can sink to their level easily.. but at the same time I don't like for others to think they've bothered me that much. I don't want them to have the satisfaction of knowing they can get to me.. so it depends on the person and the situation... and how often I have to deal with that person.

there is this brother in law of mine who has a very unpredictable attitude. he's actually the husband of my wife's older sister. there are times he just get mad at the very little things. most of the time when he gets drunk. it happened a lot of times before and we even had a cold war for months. i always try to understand him, his attitude. i always lower down myself to his level by keeping in touch with him, not saying no when he comes in the house and ask me to join him in a drink or drive for them elsewhere. i think he changed a lot with his attitude but not too much.

How long will you have to live with him, Dawn? I worry more about the children. The house is full of negative energy, whether you answer back or you keep quit. Of course, you must try not to lower yourself. You´ll hate yourself for that later and it´s not worth it as it won´t change anything. You tried for years to explain your point of view to him. It didn´t work and it wont now. You can not answer him at all, you know. As if he wasn´t there. Its a good way to answer back without lowering yourself to his level. Just pretend he isnt there.

Hi Dawny, I wouldnt hesitate now to "lower myself to their level" as you put it! Ultimately, it is my physical, emotional, and financial security that is at stake, so no way would I let anybody disturb those. If it means taking high road, so be it. Problem is we do tell politely n number of times, with reasons, and logics. Temporarily people stand back, after a few weeks, months, or years, they are back with after all it is family, you should ignore the past, and get together kind of thing, or we know what has happened to you is very wrong, but so have many things bad happened to us... we've put up with them - it is for family as if the word family becomes so important and I dont. No way, I just categorically tell such folks listen mind your own business. I know I am rude! But it is important that I safeguard my privacy and peace. Your values may be different. Problem is those who do it to me are older than me!

Very hard to prove it to them I presume, but that is not the hardest part. Because if they keep on doing things like that, even I would jump to the same conclusion on my own, that's how terrible the power of influence can be. That is when it will be the hardest because you will have to prove it to yourself first. But once you have proven your ability and capability to yourself, what others think will be influenced gradually by your actions.

i play cards in a game room on here,there is this woman that as soon as you enter the lobby she starts with some stupid lie she types in the lobby, or some remark, you don't have to say anything first soon as she see your name. Everyone tries to just ignore her, but the more you do, the worse things she types, till it gets to the point that you can't stand it any more and you reply with something that is just as bad as what she is typing. I know at that point she has pushed me down to her level. What I have found is this apparently is the only way that she can get attention from the people in there, for some reason she can't hold a decent conversation. I do believe that these people have some sort of problem in their life that makes them merisable, and if they can lower you to that point them they feel better about themselves. Best to just ignore them and not answer back and give that attention they so despertly carve.

Hi. dawnald. I just do what I have to do eventually. I will be bothered by their actions at first and then when I see that this is going to continue to go on, I will just ignore them and do what I need to do. Who cares about them anyway???

actually i think im in the habit by now of taking the high road as you call it. so, its become fairly easy after i cool off. yes, i'll admit at first, i want to kill and destroy but after i sit and think about it all, i just pray to get back to my nice forgiving self. thats what God wants from us btw, i do have a tendency to give them a smile when they see it doesnt bother me and im adult about it.

Well dear Dawn I guess for me it really depends on whom the person is that's attacking me or trying to belittle me. If it's a complete stranger I blow them off 99% of the time and just go on about my own life. However if it's someone that is close to me for whatever reason be they family, friend, spouse etc.. I don't quite stoop to their level rather I try to calmly explain why their thought or opinion is wrong usually, until like just last night I realize that is absolutely no hope of changing the persons mind, or they do kind of "wake up" whichever happens. Though I must admit last night I was quite blown away by the things a certain person said so I finally let a few cats out of my bag so to speak that I had been holding back for eons. Even still in my anger and frustration I held other things in my "bag" because even though that person hurt me more than I ever expected I knew if they knew even by description of what I had seen with my own eyes for a period of 3 weeks it would devistate them. I often ask myself "Why should I care if it hurts them when they just stomped all over me?" Then I remember,.. I have to make the choice to be the victim or the survivor. In most cases I opt to be the survivor. Example I was a victim of Domestic Violence at one point in my life. I let it keep me bitter, angry, and emotionally screwed up for so long. Then I don't know if I just hit a "grow up" point in my life or what but I said to a friend of mine you know I'm not going to call my self "victim" ever again because look at what being a victim has done to me? From then on I have been a survivor and lived in many ways a much more peaceful life. It's so interesting you posted this discussion you just helped me deal with my problem of last night. Odd how life works LOL! (((hugs))) try and remember to take it one day at a time. With some people like you said no matter how hard you try and or do succeed to prove them wrong, they will still find something to pick at you about. Try to breath and remember you did love him at one time, and he did you. Things have changed though and when he says something to hurt you don't even respond just go on about your business as if you didn't hear a thing. If you need to vent my eyes are open

As with everything, for me it depends on who the person is and what the situation is. I don't know how to say this right, but I just might lower myself to their level - but without them knowing it exactly - in the form of revenge. I want the satisfaction of knowing that I still have the upper hand. Sometimes I think taking the high road means avoiding the situation . . . I'd much rather bop the person in the head to let them know what an idiot they are - heh heh.

This is a tough one... As the easiest way is to not care what they say and do whatever. And live your life however you want. The hard part is that, like you say, it always looks like as if you were just proving their point. So you try to take the high road. And sometimes you go overboard, forgetting yourself. ...I know that what I wrote may just seem like ramblings, but it somehow put into words some feelings that are sometimes hard to express.