To Spank or Not to Spank

Children needed to be taught. That is actually love. How can one say they love their children if they don't teach them what's right and wrong? If there is a need, one should spank and even cane the children. However, one should not lose control and go crazy with hitting that harm is caused. Every hitting should be in self control (maximum of 3 to 5 hits, usual 1 to 2 hits) and the children have to be told and really understand what wrong they have done. Hitting should not be done because you are in a bad mood(not the child doing something real bad) or else you lose your child's respect and love. Children will still love you even though you hit them as long as you did it to teach them what's right and wrong as you are doing it out of love for them. Remember that this is only for serious wrong done, do not use hitting often as then it will lose it's teaching effect and you too will become a habitual abuser, and then the child will lose respect and love for you.

Spankings are fine with me, as long as they don't progress to beatings. I used spankings with my children and throughout their lives, I don't think either one needed more than a couple to get the message across. They also knew they were guests in anyone else's home or any store or business we attended. As guests, they were not allowed to run all over the store, touch anything, but they could ask questions about things they did not understand. On the rare occasions either one acted up, we immediately left wherever we were and treats of any kind were banned for one week. That meant they might have to leave the friends with whom they were playing, or be marched out of a store or business or a diner without loud fanfare. Once we arrived at the car and they were safely buckled in place, I explained why we left and the consequences of their actions. Once at home, each was put to bed for a nap - no matter what time it was. More than anything it gave them time to think. Again, after carrying through with the process a couple of times, I had no problems with either. I didn't scream, make loud threats, speak in a demonic tone to get their attention. My calm, steady actions showed them bad behavior was not acceptable in any occasion. On the couple of occasions when they pushed the limits, I did not threaten to spank them - I did it without preamble. Both turned into wonderful adults, who are proud of their parents because they knew we would discipline, but they also knew if they truly needed us, we would be at their sides asap - not to scream and accuse, but to offer support or assistance. Quite often, once we arrived, we didn't have to say anything. They handled situations themselves. In one instance, my son's car scraped another when he pulled out of a parking place. He called to let us know and then waited for two hours for the owner of the other vehicle to arrive and swap insurance information.

Hi Hmm im not a parent so i couldnt have an experienced opinion here. I dont think fear should be the answer we should give to children. Yet there is a limit, when they behave truly bad, that spanking would be the answer. As a curious fact, i have read the psicologist that suggested we shouldnt phisically reprehend kids, had a son that killed himself.

i dont spank in public, and as much as possible i try to refrain from spanking. often times parents resort to spanking because of their sudden anger and frustration. what i do instead is try to be calm and talk to them. of course this is the ideal way but i too am guilty of mildly spanking my kid. very very rare though.

it probably depends on the kid - some kids need only a warning, a stern look, others may need swatting or spanking. but parents should ever resort to beating! i guess i was pretty lucky with my kids because i never had to spank them. a look or a warning or a time out was enough to keep them in line.

I would say YES to spanking. I was spanked and I think some kids need it more than most. And like many of you out there I was never "Beaten" just a swat on the bottom or a slap on the top of my hand would be enough to detere me from wrong-doing. I never had to spank my daughter, a stern warning was usually all it took but she has gotten a "Pinch" from me in past. I'll never forget the time mom had my brother and me with her standing in line at the bank. My bro about 4yrs was acting up and my mom gave him a pinch on the arm, he screamed out loud and yelled very loudly "Pinch me mom! I pinch you!" WELL my mom was sooo embarrased she grabbed our hands and walked out of the bank, LOL she said she could never show her face there again. we still laugh today.

hi LilliebelleDaisyrose my son nor even my little daughter were never like that. I did swat hands that started to reach for the stove or that tried to get away and dash into traffic. but I never beat on my children as I was raised to stop by the face. My mom would make this horrible face if I was doing something wrong and i always stopped as it really scared me, oh she would threaten a spanking but she never did. I was never spanked but I grew up to be a law abiding person, and I never spanked either of my two, but they got the face and that scowl made my husband laugh as he said I really looked furious.He got it to if I was upset with him.lol lol lol.

I work retail so I see a lot of screaming kids in a day and I have to say that the kids of the parents who threaten to spank them tend to shut up and behave really fast. Whereas the other kids just keep on screaming and kicking. It may not be the best method of punishment, but it has results. I used to be spanked or hit with the belt. As a child it didn't really make me change my mind about my behavior. It just made me hide the bad stuff more often, lol. I'm not sure how I'd go about raising my own kids just yet as I don't have any. I want to say "I won't ever spank them." But I'm realistic and I know I might get angry or frustrated or feel I've ran out of other options. So I don't want to say that I will or won't just yet. I'll have to figure that out when I get there.