Has anyone ever told you, they wish you'd never been born, or were an accident?

She said it once. But obviously it was an accident for THEM and not me. im happy with who i am. i just dont like or respect them that much for hurting me. i cant live avoiding my parents. i mean i dont live with them. they seem normal and 'better' now, it just doesnt reverse the pain they caused. They didnt do alot of stuff normal parents would do, like go to my graduation ceremonies at highschool and stuff. thats not even the worst things, but its just easy to be reminded of things they didnt do when i see it over and over in normal families that do do normal stuff with their children. I'm still angry at my parents, i wont be really finished until they hear my hurt. im just going to keep asking questions till i get some answers. ive talked to a councellor before. its more painful digging up the past than it is to face the present. i just want my parents to be able to face up to how they were, not just forget it, because they affected my life.

I'm going to really ask my dad soon, because im not going to be able to see him until he answers up to what he did. Ive told these things to my mom, but she sometimes is silent or sometimes snaps. but yeah, i am working on it. thanks for contributing to this conversation with ur thoughts :)

Im not sure anymore if she said maybe it would be better if i wasnt born, because she miscarried her first child and she wouldnt have had me if she had the first one and my brother. but anyway the part about accident she did say. and thats a stupid thing to say. its her own accident then, not mind. whatever accident it was. its hurtful to say that. yeah i unfortunately cant pick my relatives, and picking my nose wont do much good. thats how live goes. Actually i have nice relatives, on both my mom and dad's side. its only my close family members that are crazy!

That's really terrible. Actually my dad also touched me inappropriately once, and then i started avoiding him ever since then, because i was so scared he would do something worse. and he was always so angry at everyone. he acted controlling and dominating like everyone else should be silenced. I think thats why i am so bitter against both my parents sometimes, all the pain they caused in different ways. that accumulates. and the way my mom never really defended me. she also suffered silently but made me suffer too. but she also left me alone at home and other kinds of neglect. just the emotional scarring is hard to bear. its so easy for someone to say move on when they havent been through the same stuff. when i open up my feelings and memories, the truth is it happened, even if they act like its past. its not justice when other people make you suffer and just try to forget about it. I want them to know i hurt, because of them, because thats only the truth. I went through so much pain because of them, I continue to go through so much pain because of them. its because didnt have the ability to leave as a child, i was vulnerable then and there was noone there to protect me. they should have been the ones caring for me and nurturing me, yet they hurt and put me through so much abuse. its only honest if i feel pain. On the other hand, its very time and energy consuming feeling bad or hurt or angry. i just try to appreciate the nice parts in life. but it always feels a bit sad looking at the happy childhood of other people, or even parts of mine that were happy, because it was so rare in comparison to the daily pain i was going through.