Points to Neck: I've Had it Up to Here!
By cynthiann
@cynthiann (18602)
Jamaica
June 1, 2010 7:03pm CST
I don't know what is up with my family. Pure disaster from yesterday. I know that I am totally stressed out as i worked 14 hours yesterday and it looks like another few hours before I can leave tonight so I am taking a food break and posting. I have to pre-plan and do work ahead and my boss wants my key to the office so I have to have a good clean up tomorrow.
What is it with my kids? Why do they think that I can solve everything?
The daughter left last night for the U.K. Calls from airport and tells me that she has not been seated in the Premium seats and could I call the airline and sort it out. What in he*l can I do about that? Sort it out, sweetie pie, you are on spot, I told her.
Then the son in the U.K. phones sobbing that his GF has left him. I am sorry about that as she is a wonderful young lady and I had hoped that they would have married. I show sympathy and love but he tells me that he cannot wait to see me so that I can fix it.
Excuse me? You have been there for 14 years and are a grown man and of course you can talk to me any time but I cannot fix it. What in he*l can I say to make her want to marry you?
Then the daughter wakes me up this morning (after working the 14 hours) to tell me that the British Police have entered the plane and are arresting people. What on earth can I do to stop them from arresting people? I am so sorry that you are scared but I honestly don't think that they will be putting handcuffs on you. There is nothing that I can do. This too will pass.
When I reach outside to the living room there is the second son sleeping on a sofa! Why aren't you at home with your wife I asked - none too gently - as I am wondering what is happening to the daughter and the police. He hastened to assure me that all is well but he drove his sister's car from Kingston and was so tired he called his wife and told her that he would stay the night by me.
But Mom., he continued, I really need to sit down and talk as I have some problems. I must have looked horrified as he then assured me that it could wait until the weekend. As he headed to the bathroom I reminded him that it was his wife's birthday and I hope he had bought her a gift. From the look on his face I knew that he had forgotten.
Meantime the third son is still frantically blackberrying me on and on about how he loves and misses her, and what is he to do and I am still whizzing around. trying to get ready for work.
Then the first son comes out and asked me if I had any free time today would I look over and critique his speech. No, dear son, I do not have any free time today and it is 7.30 and I am trying to eat a boiled egg and leave. He looked a little hurt, so I said, well give it to me and I will try to look at it during lunch (what lunch?)
Opened front door loudly. OMG - I had forgotten the bird's nest full of little birds that is in a hanging planter right outside my door. The parents flew off in a huff much to my chagrin.
Took a deep breath and told my two eldest boys how much I loved them but I really had to leave. Why were they smiling? Got into car and looked in car mirror and realized that I had not brushed my hair. Gave it a few ineffectual swipes with a brush that I keep in the car but then had to go back and take off my flip flops and put on work shoes.
Jumped into car again and looked at bird nest.
Idle thought comes to mind: If I was young again, maybe I would have had more parrots and less children.
Have you ever felt this way?
Excuse me? You have been there for 14 years and are a grown man and of course you can talk to me any time but I cannot fix it. What in he*l can I say to make her want to marry you?
Then the daughter wakes me up this morning (after working the 14 hours) to tell me that the British Police have entered the plane and are arresting people. What on earth can I do to stop them from arresting people? I am so sorry that you are scared but I honestly don't think that they will be putting handcuffs on you. There is nothing that I can do. This too will pass.
When I reach outside to the living room there is the second son sleeping on a sofa! Why aren't you at home with your wife I asked - none too gently - as I am wondering what is happening to the daughter and the police. He hastened to assure me that all is well but he drove his sister's car from Kingston and was so tired he called his wife and told her that he would stay the night by me.
But Mom., he continued, I really need to sit down and talk as I have some problems. I must have looked horrified as he then assured me that it could wait until the weekend. As he headed to the bathroom I reminded him that it was his wife's birthday and I hope he had bought her a gift. From the look on his face I knew that he had forgotten.
Meantime the third son is still frantically blackberrying me on and on about how he loves and misses her, and what is he to do and I am still whizzing around. trying to get ready for work.
Then the first son comes out and asked me if I had any free time today would I look over and critique his speech. No, dear son, I do not have any free time today and it is 7.30 and I am trying to eat a boiled egg and leave. He looked a little hurt, so I said, well give it to me and I will try to look at it during lunch (what lunch?)
Opened front door loudly. OMG - I had forgotten the bird's nest full of little birds that is in a hanging planter right outside my door. The parents flew off in a huff much to my chagrin.
Took a deep breath and told my two eldest boys how much I loved them but I really had to leave. Why were they smiling? Got into car and looked in car mirror and realized that I had not brushed my hair. Gave it a few ineffectual swipes with a brush that I keep in the car but then had to go back and take off my flip flops and put on work shoes.
Jumped into car again and looked at bird nest.
Idle thought comes to mind: If I was young again, maybe I would have had more parrots and less children.
Have you ever felt this way?7 people like this
18 responses
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
2 Jun 10
Hey cythiann! OMG! You poor overworked Mom! How do you keep
track of all of the kids and all of their problems? I think
you are just the best Mom ever! I just don't know how you do
it! I am not a Mom, except of course to my 2 adorable cats!
I don't feel like I missed out on anything, except my Mom
feels cheated out of Grands! I tell her she can always adopt!
I can't even take care of myself (or never could) so I think
I did the right thing by not having children! But, I did miss
out on the love, which you have in barrels full! You are the
absolute best Mom and wonderful person I know! You will make
everything right for them all! Hugs, Opal
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
Oh you are so kind. I do try to be a good mother as I did not have a good mother but I am so tired. Just about to leave work now and it is after 8 pm. You don't know how I appreciate th kind things you have said. Have just packed up work to take home to do early in the morning before going to work.Many blessings
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
I leave on Monday to the U.K. The daughter is already there and then next week we go to Rome with my sisters. This should be interesting as one of them is an alcofrolic! I pulled rank on Rachel and said she had to share the room with this Aunt I will share my room with her when she comes to the Island for a MONTH at Christmas. Can't think about that one yet! We will also spend some time with the broken hearted third son. So I did the classy thing and wrote to her saying that we regretted the ending but loved her and had hoped that she would join our family and wished her every happiness. From her reply I do not think that there will be a reconciliation as she had changed her mind. And no, I cannot fix this one.Wish that I could
I pulled rank on Rachel and said she had to share the room with this Aunt I will share my room with her when she comes to the Island for a MONTH at Christmas. Can't think about that one yet! We will also spend some time with the broken hearted third son. So I did the classy thing and wrote to her saying that we regretted the ending but loved her and had hoped that she would join our family and wished her every happiness. From her reply I do not think that there will be a reconciliation as she had changed her mind. And no, I cannot fix this one.Wish that I could2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
Thanks Dawn. I know that I am blessed with them. I once complained to first son that the daughter expects me to work miracles. He looked at me genuinely surprised and said,'But Mother, you always have done miracles so she expects you to continue'. It really made me laugh! Notifiers off - trying to get through everything. Can't wait to leave on vacation.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
2 Jun 10
Cynthiann,
my stomach went instantly into knots as I read your story and felt your pain. I have 4 daughters. I can so so so relate to this. Situations are different but then again it is all the same. Today while taking my daughter (16) into the doctors for a check up, we were walking up to the clinic and she goes, "Oh, I should not have worn this shirt. I am overheating." I said, "Yes, it is pretty warm." she goes, "nnnnonnnooo...you don't understand! I am seriously overheating." There was nothing I could do so I stayed silent. She goes, "mom, did you hear me? I am so hot that I think I'm going to puke." I said, " well I hope you don't puke here..that'd be embarrassing." 2 seconds of silence. "Mom, I really think I'm going to hurl." "Mom...why are you not saying anything?" This is just a fresh example but they ALL do this at times. I think they just need someone to vent to and I am their best sounding board. 
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
2 Jun 10
Ya, it's always funny when it is someone else. 3 of mine are grown and I have 2 grandchildren. The grown ones call me it seems just as often as the 16 yr old. The conversation always starts with, "Mom, I have a HUGE favor." I'm always relieved when it is not so huge and something I can actually help with. Between the 4 of them I do get in moods where I feel like I'm being pulled in all directions. You are so right. A good night of shut-eye helps so much. Ahh...it's not so bad...we are needed and loved right? We have purpose.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
Now you made me laugh! My children are all adults but when they are with me I am the one they turn to for answers. I have 3 sons and one daughter and four grands. I am fine now - got some sleep and that helps
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
2 Jun 10
OMGOSH, BLESS YOUR HEART. I have been in most of those situations w/my boys obver the yearsbut not all in the day, thank heavens. Iknow it was very stressful for u but i look at it as a blessing that they still think mom can do anything. Mine use to feel that way about me but they sure don't anymore & i hope u never find out how that feels, cynthi. Hope today is a better day for you & all the parrots, i mean kids, lol. hugs.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
3 Jun 10
I can see why u were stressed. It's quite a compliment to your being a good mom & they think u can still solve all their problems. It's really very sweet .I hope they always are that close to u. I sure miss that closeness w/my boys. Hope u have a great thurs. hugs.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
Thanks Jo. I was so stressed but am feeling much better now but have to put in extra hours so am taking a little break. I know that I am lucky with them but what with the State of Emergency still on everything got to me.Blessings
1 person likes this
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
2 Jun 10
Oh! My God, my dear friend, you really seem to be very very stressed out. Never heard you grumbling like that. One thing is worth noticing here that they all are so much in love with you. You are the Miss "Fix it all" for them, aren't you? Obviously with a caring natured person like you people would always look upto you for their small things.
Well, if you had more parrots, I bet they would have been coming back to you even if you had released them from their cage. Saying, " Dear mom, the chilly I ate last evening was so very hot, my taste buds seems to be burning still".
Just try to be with your own self for a while thats what I can think of, and when you are back to your ownself with the stress levels down you can again handle everything with the same gusto.
You were missed while you were gone for the past couple of days, (See even I am complaining)
Just try to be with your own self for a while thats what I can think of, and when you are back to your ownself with the stress levels down you can again handle everything with the same gusto.
You were missed while you were gone for the past couple of days, (See even I am complaining)1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
Ah Bodi. My country is under a limited State of Emergency and this is also stressing me out. Plus listening to my son just broke my heart. Actually, my parrots had freedom as I could only have injured ones as they are an endangered species out here.
I am glad to be going away so you may not here from me until the end of June and I have turned off all the notifiers now. So much work to accomplish before I leave. I do appreciate your comments. Take care and God bless you.
@cicisnana (772)
• United States
2 Jun 10
WOW!! You are definitely a busy lady...I hope you will update us about the police on the plane and your daughter...and if your son and his lady were able to make up.
It was a good thing you remember the daughter in laws birthday, I would hate it if your son had gone home empty handed.
But one thing, you should be happy your children come to you. It shows that you raised them very well, even though you were surely busy while raising them. They come to mama because they trust your judgement and expertise, you have definitely done well!
I have 5 children of my own, and have I ever wondered if I would have rather been the old lady with a dozen cats?? Sometimes, sure, but I wouldn't trade my kids for a million dollars.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
No, the son and the lady seemed to have split up permanently. She said she wasn't happy. I just sent her a message saying that we all loved and respected her and wish her every happiness as she really is wonderful. Doesn't seem like she wants him back and I thought she was definitely marriage material. He is still sending me messages via blackberry. So awful to have him heartbroken.
The police arrested 4 off the plane but not my daughter. She was scared as our country is under a limited State of Emergency and for some unknown reason to see this made her scared. I suppose as now our security forces have extra powers whilst the State of Emergency is on.
Thank you for your kind words. They are my greatest accomplishment in life. Really nice and have all lived away form home but when they are with me they involve me in every problem and sometimes it is at the wrong time for me. I do love them all plus the four grands.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
2 Jun 10
I have felt that way. I do quite often. It seems when one thinks they need you, they all need something.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
When I sometimes tell them that I am tired they look at me in amazement. But I have told them that I don't do miracles anymore but they stills o believe that I can.They are lovely young people and we are all close but sometimes......
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (92724)
• United States
2 Jun 10
I just love you. I wish you could put all your mylot posts together into a book. You certainly should be touring. People would pay money to hear what you have to say. And to top off all the craziness you deal with, you have a good attitude to boot! How do you do it?
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
Oh you are always so sweet. How do I cope with my life? I pray a lot and give thanks that my children are still close to me.I also have a sense of humour and this gets me through life. I was born when bombs were dropping on England and they have been dropping ever sinceWont be back until June 24th so have turned off notifyers
Wont be back until June 24th so have turned off notifyers
@ellie333 (21016)
•
2 Jun 10
Hi Cynthiann, Sounds to me like you are really stressed as these are the things as mums we deal with effortlessly most days. You do indeed really need that break and hope you have a wonderful time in the UK when you arrive and in Rome too. Overtired, stressed and worry aren't a good recipe at all. Once on the plane phone will be switched off so take time to really chill so you are relaxed upon arrival. Huggles. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
Even when you are in misery your discussions offer so much laughter. Its good and bad that your kids consider you as a 'fix it mom'. Good as it shows just how much faith they have in your judgemnet but bad because they will always run to you before trying to find a solution for themselves.
I dont have kids but believe me dealing with the young people and some adults when I was active in church gave me a good idea of what you are going through. Last week was Children's Day and I stayed up pretty late with my sister preparing the materials. She did the sermonettes for the little speeakers, the banner and some fany certificates we did with almost each child's photo on theirs. She was beat the following morning yet she came back complaining how everything was left up to her and she was not even the children's coordinator. Dont I know just how that feels. The lady incharge had done no preparation. The hymes were not chosen and the platform party was not organized.
There was a time we (my sisters and I) declared a strike against the youths and we refused to take the leading positions for the youth department. That worked somewhat but they still have soooooo far to go in developing their own problem solving skills.
How are you Cynthie ? I am more than behind in responding to you but I will. How did you happen to almost get lost in my neck of the woods?
I hope the problem solving bug will bite each of your kids so that tomorrow will be different for you.
? I am more than behind in responding to you but I will. How did you happen to almost get lost in my neck of the woods?
I hope the problem solving bug will bite each of your kids so that tomorrow will be different for you.@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
I think that most Churches have the same problem- so much work is done by the faithful few. It happens at my Church too. Dorry for your sister though.
Re my children. They have all worked in different countries and managed but when they are with me they somehow expect me to do the solving. In all honesty- I do not mind as I did not have the same relationship with my mother as they have with me. It is just that I was being bombarded with problems.
Today is much better and I am back to whatever normal is for me
Sweetie Pie - I do not know how I get lost but I get lost frequently.On mOnday will be off to the U.K for vacation and as a side trip my sisters, daughter and I are going to Rome. Am so excited about that Keep safe!
Sweetie Pie - I do not know how I get lost but I get lost frequently.On mOnday will be off to the U.K for vacation and as a side trip my sisters, daughter and I are going to Rome. Am so excited about that Keep safe!
@candzremie (82)
• Philippines
2 Jun 10
that's really too much for one day. but then, things like these always happen. children tend to depend on their parents a lot. i know i do. i'm a daughter and i have 3 more sisters. we tend to depend on our mother when it comes to household chores and problems. i tell mom my problems that i can share with her. as the saying goes "Mother knows best" but then, we know that she can only give advices, not fix it. maybe your children just needs comfort. happy my lotting. :)
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (69714)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
2 Jun 10
I don't have children of my own, and probably never will, but I know how you feel. I used to be in places where people counted on me to solve their problems because they knew I was "smart". I've had a school mate's parents request I look after their daughter (who was a grown women) and keep her out of trouble. Since when am I a babysitter? yeah, I know all too well how you feel. All I can say is take a deep breath and takle each problem one at a time.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
The thing is that all of my children have lived and worked off the Island. One is still off the Island but when they come home it is like I am the problem solver for everything. Am o.k.now - they are great people.Thanks for your advice I have slowed down today and am actually taking a lunch break to respond. Blessings
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
2 Jun 10
Oh boy. I got the nervous ticks too while reading your post. There seems to be a lot going in your life right now and your children do not seem to see this. You only have two ears, two eyes, and two hands. You can't be in two places at the same time. What are they thinking? It must be hard having to iron out your life as well as your kids' lives. I admire you for your strength though.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
Actually they are pretty considerate and whoever is home puts in laundry or cooks dinner. But things have been stressful for me and I just couldn't cope at the time. Love them so much. They have all worked in other countries but when they are home they still come to me all the time with their problems and some of them I just cannot solve. We are close though and I am grateful for hat as well.
@tallymommy77 (35)
• United States
2 Jun 10
It sounds like maybe, and I don't know, but maybe you at some point did fix their problems for them, making them think they can now overly depend on you. And/or it could be that they just miss you and are looking for ways to connect. I would come at it lovingly and say that even though you wish you could fix it all for them, they have to learn to handle problems on their own...hope you can take a good bubble bath soon!!!
God Bless!!
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
No not overly dependent but we are all close. They have worked in other countries and are independent but like me to solve their problems when they are home. Am planning bubble bath tonight - that is a good idea - thanks for that
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
2 Jun 10
cynthiann,
Mother Theresa once said: "Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. "
From your post here, I have no doubts that you are not only a great person in life but a fantastic mother, who if you were to declare yourself as runners up, no one could take first place.
Anyway, I am sure that besides being up to your neck, I am sure you are aware how much you are being loved, appreciated and most seek after. So, take heart that you have a wonderful family and I am sure are everything to them - expecting you to have the connections with the airlines and law enforcements as well! Wow! Talking about Super Mum.
Anyway, how's your daughter? What was she being arrested for? Nothing too grave, I hope to warrant a lock up or sentence.
Out of all these, I hoped that you are not to overwhelmed to neglect your health. So please do take care as there's just so much one can do. But, don't forget to ASAP- hope you know this special acronym from Him.
"The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done. " - Mother Theresa
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
I really do not know what to say to your response. I feel 
I love your quotes and have copied them . So beautiful. No, the daughter was not arrested. When the plane landed in the U.K. from our Island then the British police came on the plane and arrested four'persons of interest'.
She was scared as we have a limited State of Emergency in our country whereby the police do not need a reason to arrest you. fortunately this is supposed to last for the month. No, I do not know the acronym ASAP. would be glad if you would send me a pm as have now turned off notifiers until I return from vacation. Many blessings dear friend. See you at the end of June! Blessings. Did I tell you that I am also going to Rome for a few days from the U.K.?
I love your quotes and have copied them . So beautiful. No, the daughter was not arrested. When the plane landed in the U.K. from our Island then the British police came on the plane and arrested four'persons of interest'.
She was scared as we have a limited State of Emergency in our country whereby the police do not need a reason to arrest you. fortunately this is supposed to last for the month. No, I do not know the acronym ASAP. would be glad if you would send me a pm as have now turned off notifiers until I return from vacation. Many blessings dear friend. See you at the end of June! Blessings. Did I tell you that I am also going to Rome for a few days from the U.K.?1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Jun 10
hi cynthiann yes today,first my roommie upsets me by saying that I cannot get my money today but will have to wait til friday but I try to tellher I have got my money on the first before.I did get after waiting all afternon. so I get my mail and here is a letter from the ambulance company telling me that I owe them one hundred fifty dollars copay. so I call my evercare hmo as I was so sure they paid the whole bill for me before and last year they did. She tells me no this year they changed it and my copay is guess what folks, one hundred fifty dollars.So I am going to have to call Pacific care tomorrow and ask them to let me make payments as I have not ever got that much money on hand at one time.
so tonight I am a bit depressed but I am still going shopping tomorrow with what little money I do have. You see I have social security and ssi and after the admins here taking out the r e nt and the board, I have left just one hundred twenty five dollars which I can t ake out not more than 80 dollars at a time.so the ambulance people are going to have to wait so I can make fifty dollar payments.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
2 Jun 10
Let them wait my friend- let them wait. What can they do- sue you? 
It is ridiculous. Make $20 dollar payments not$50. You take the money and buy what you need to buy.Many blessings
It is ridiculous. Make $20 dollar payments not$50. You take the money and buy what you need to buy.Many blessings1 person likes this
@TheAdvocate (2392)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
I hate to admit it, but now I understand what my mother goes through everyday! There are 4 of us, and we all go to our mother when something is bothering us. Take me for example, I have a boil on my hip. My mother cleans it, puts medicine and makes sure that I take antibiotics on time (I forget to do it everyday). I am in my 40s, but I still sleep in her room when I am sick. My brothers are the same way. I take it for granted that she will solve my problems, and she does. You just made me realize that I don't thank my mother enough...
You are a good mother. I hope that if (big IF) I become a mother, I can be half as good as you.
Now I must go and give my mother a thank you kiss.
1 person likes this
