“Give and take policy”----

Hello dear, Precisely,mostly i know are "takers" more than of a giver. As we are running charity institutions,i meet people of different walks of life. We offered several free services to name a few,medical,legal,education,bus rides,orphanages,home for the aged and others. Services that are intended for the needy,poor and less fortunate. But,i can see that,some of them who avail those free services are really not poor. Since it is free,those who can afford and have money take advantage with out services. I understand that it is a big help for them to save the supposedly expenses which they can avail for free. It is always a happiness to serve other people/strangers without expecting in return. And i learn it from years of being a volunteer with charity institution.

I always tend to jump on fulfilling any request made by anyone and always try earnestly to fulfill them within my capacity. Though this tendency has put me on pins and restless many a times taking away my time I just cannot resist saying yes to anyone. I like to bring the sunshine in everyone’s abode I visit and I always make it a point that I am being loved by everyone. Well it is my habit. I have not counted my blessings ever. And also I do not want to. For me ‘Life is always beautiful’. I am a taker of love and affection and giver of the same. I don’t know whether I am good at giving or taking. And being a human I always wean away from the takers gently.

Yes, I have known people who seem to take more than they ever give and one thing interesting that struck me was that these people were rarely happy or satisfied. _Derek

If I meet someone who is more the"taker" than "giver" I would obviously be taking my distance with him/her because I believe everyone should be acting in good faith and there should not be inferior or superior so I would be doing just as you said above, to preserver for myself.

Hi Kalav, Yes, there are many who believe in give and take but in that many, I am one who believe to give without a hope of return. I give when I like someone and I love to do so. My father is also a great giver but never expected anything in return and he has taught us too to do the same. He often say that do not believe in returns and just do what you like. Give and take is the practice of compromise in society. I have followed this and most of time I have just given and didn't get returns.. still I am happy. Personally, I don't feel bad, I am very happy in my life for what I had and what I have. Thanks.

I know very well and appreciate and cherish how my dad had given a lot to us all. I'm trying to do the same by giving my possible best to my children too. I think all parents are great givers. And they take very little instead. But this concept of giving and taking is relative when you look outside beyond your doors. How much to give is not always as easy if not welcomed as how much to take. And when it comes to interacting with people who only take, then giving becomes more difficult.

Hi Kala! I believe more in giving rather than taking. I would be happy to 'give', rather than accept. If someone willing return the favour, it is all the more good, if s/he does not, I won't mind. I think many of us feel that if they are 'giving' something, it should come back to them and when it does not they fret and fume and curse the other fellow.

'Give and take policy' is good. But that should be reciprocal. Although there are some generous people like your father who only feel pleasure to give. In return they want nothing. Those people who only take and in return give nothing they are mare selfish.

Wow! Its a very unique topic to discuss. Although in our everyday life we may have realized it a lot of times but to put your thought into words is an altogether different thing. Yes, I have come across people who are onto both the sides of the equilibrium. Let me put an example here. There are two guys who are very close friends of mine. One of them is predominantly a "taker". He is yet to learn the art of sharing. But I think that life has taken a lot of things away from him. So I guess, being a taker doesn't prove to be a great deal in the long run. Then there is this other guy. he would happily share his belongings with others. I remember during a New year's eve we were on a motor bike away from home. When we were heading back it was around 5 in the morning. I was shievering due to cold. I was on a short cotton shirt. He readily gave me his Jacket and he was facing the cold. Life has been very fulfilling for him. He makes friends instantly and very easily becomes the crowd puller. It is something like the more you give the more you get, but some people are yet to realize it. Bodhi

I am at a stage of life that I can take serious steps and should be taking as well. I banish such people out of my life, with irrefutable logics, in presence of others who would be gossiping behind their backs and behind mine as well. That - in my opinion - would make people wary of acting too smart with me, and those who've been selfish losing their credibility. I think nothing is wrong with self preservation. Please do not feel that is wrong. Those who try to say so or try to pacify you saying ignore and blah blah have also failed in ignoring and blah blah. :) Moreover, if you ignore the incident, these selfish people continue to take more, and when you reach an edge and can no longer take it, they feel something is wrong with you, you are stressed out or you suddenly get labeled bad. When the ultimate reward is only going to be that, why suffer the entire distance? :) If you become bad now, you will suffer it for short while and it will be forgotten. But future will be more peaceful. :) That is my policy now. :) And believe me, it has helped to calm things at my end. :)

Hi Kala. I am proud to be a giver and take pride in playing that role. Since it gives me immense joy to give I do not mind even if the person I am giving never returns the favour but, there is a big but here. I will not help those who are mean minded and think nothing of what I do for them. There are also those who support the one's who speak ill of me and encourage them, such people I will not even want to touch with a barge pole!!

Every relationship should be balanced in order for it to work out. It's just like nature that has predators and preys, if there are no predators then the preys will populate a habitat and cause an imbalance, while when there will be no prey then the predators will die because they have no food. It's the same way in a relationship, let's say that giving is pulling and receiving or taking is pushing. If one is pulling too much then the other one tends to get away because he is pressured by the closeness between them while when someone is pushing too much then the other one will surely go out of sight.

Hi kala I belong to the giver category mainly, i never expect any thing in return when i give, i agree there are many who just take, never ready to give, nothing to be worried or amazed, there are many types of people on this earth.. Thank you so much for sharing here. Professor ‘Bhuwan’. . God bless you. Welcome always.

Hello kalav, Life is based on Give and Take policy ! It only varies in degrees . A person may be a giver in certain situations but a taker somewhere else . It happens with most people. We all have these black, grey and white shades in our personalities.It also depends on one's realtionship and the past deeds of a person and we judge and act accordingly.It is also possible for an individual to change after a certain period of time due to outer influences or within oneself!He may become a giver from being a taker and vice versa !

It is like walking a tightrope sometimes, isn't it. But I think the saying is true to some extent that those who give do receive, if like everything else in life, the giving is purposeful and not out of a feeling of obligation or guilt.

Takers are not real friends or good citizens of the world. Its okay to be a taker once in a while or maybe even a lot as long as you have given twice what you intend to take. These kinds of people are just driven by greed, power, or some other kind of element that they want to have more than they actually deserve. So I say it is better to be a giver, because if you give, then you will receive. By genuinely giving and not giving with the intention of taking, the universe conspires so that it will give back to you what you have given it. You wouldnt even have to ask or wait. You will receive things when you need them the most. That's just what I think anyways.^_^

Hey kalav! You have to be careful in life of those that are only "takers"! Sometimes it takes time to even realize that this is what they are all about! Some of these kinds of people are extremely manipulative and will try to use whatever they can to try to fool you into believing that they are something they are not! You have to be able to pick out these type of people or they will "take you for whatever they can"! When I realize that this is what someone is interested in doing, I cut them loose as fast as I can!

Yes there are definitely ‘takers’ out there and I believe I have been involved with a couple of them! I avoid selfish people nowadays. My own parents are quite selfish which is ironic because as I was growing up my mother kept telling me I was the selfish one! I think the best way is a happy balance of giving and taking because as I discovered through painful relationship break ups, it is very noble to be always giving but there are times when it is okay to take and allow the other person to give; it is a lesson I had to learn that, just like many other parts of life, it is about balance. One of my good friends is the one taught me that is fine to ask for help every now and again and that it is okay to take that help too.

Kalav dear it requires two palms to make a clap, similar is the situation in every thing, one must give if any thing he/she needs to take back, only give or only take won't work,,,, Thanks for sharing. Welcome always. Cheers. Prof

Well this someone is definitely in need of some give and take crash course. But I understand what you mean because I also have friends of such. When interacting with friends of such, I normally will judge the situation based on my preferences. Which means if I have the time and effort to entertain and to give then I would but if not then sorry to say but I wouldn't be able to as per requested. But the sad part is people like such always misunderstood such conditions and they would start to make assumptions that they are no longer cared for .. sheesh.. what a tough life..