stupid male parent rant
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85146)
Shingle Springs, California
June 2, 2010 11:33am CST
Ok, I'm really not bent out of shape about this, but I was a wee bit stressed about it last night. I can't stand not being on time, my kids not being on time, etc. I don't know why, but it drives me nuts.
Last night was Naomi's concert. Yep, she did not get to quit band until after the concert. She was supposed to be there at 5:30 for rehearsal and we were supposed to be there at 6:30 for the performance.
I get home about 5:15, Richard's car isn't there, so I assume he's taking her to rehearsal. But being paranoid, I call. Dearra answers, "we're on our way home." "What? She has to be there at 5:30." "Well she needs to change into something nice."
Wonderful, she's going to be late. Grrrr.....
15 minutes later, they finally show up. WITH MCDONALD'S meals. WTH?
Turns out that R got the the school a little late-ish, and as they were walking to the car, Naomi tells him that she left her instrument in her classroom. 15 minutes later, they find somebody with a key and get it out.
Now this is where I would have been rushing home to get her dressed, told her to eat a cookie or a pop tart or something in the car, and dropped her off.
Nope, it was more important to stop at McDonald's and get meals for everybody (except me lol).
So I show Naomi a couple of things to wear, she rejects both of them and goes and finds something else. She goes to change while the other three inhale their food. By the time they leave the house, her with food in hand to eat in the car, she's already 10 minutes late.
OK R was in charge and he made a judgement call. Food is more important than punctuality. I would have decided the other way around.
Turns out that when he got her there, at least 15 minutes late, kids were still milling around and rehearsal hadn't started.
Probably because all the other parents were distantly related to R's family and decided to feed their kids first. 
But anyway, she saw it through, played her pieces, now she can quit if she wants. Cary wants to play the same instrument next year and he already knows all the numbers. lol
PS here is a fuzzy picture of Naomi with her xylophone.
But anyway, she saw it through, played her pieces, now she can quit if she wants. Cary wants to play the same instrument next year and he already knows all the numbers. lol
PS here is a fuzzy picture of Naomi with her xylophone.4 people like this
24 responses
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
2 Jun 10
I believe in getting to places on time, specially if there are other people waiting for you.
And how can you teach the kids punctuality if you are always late? At work, later in life, you will not be able to walk in when you please.
By the way, my 2 girls are divorced and you should see the problems they have with the kids´ fathers when they have to take them out. It seems they can´t read a watch. They come when they wish and return them that way too. There are ways I would have used to end THAT abuse though.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Jun 10
I gave him a scolding too, and he agreed (once he had calmed down). The problem is, when he gets upset, anything goes, and then it's damage control time.
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
3 Jun 10
Those parents sem to be the mayority, dawn. If it´s not one it is the other. My older daughter is a psychologist but I had to stop her one day when she was scolding her son saying "you are just like your father". 
I sent Diego away and gave her a piece of my mind. It is enough for the kid to have a perfectly idiot father, but at least his mother should behave. Fortunatly, she said I was right and promised never to do it again. Unfortunatly, it is too easy to use those arguments.
By the way, I´m counting the days (not as much as you, I bet) when you will be alone with th kids.
I sent Diego away and gave her a piece of my mind. It is enough for the kid to have a perfectly idiot father, but at least his mother should behave. Fortunatly, she said I was right and promised never to do it again. Unfortunatly, it is too easy to use those arguments.
By the way, I´m counting the days (not as much as you, I bet) when you will be alone with th kids.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
2 Jun 10
Dawn.. I think you've been married long enough to know that you never trust a man with important things like this!!
Like you I tend to stress a bit if we run late, I just sort of feel like it's chaotic and I'm losing control.
Like your hubby, mine is really "go with the flow" and would also think it would be okay to be a little late. I probably would have been calling every 5 minutes starting at 5pm making sure all the details have been taken care of and that they're on their way. Though thankfully my husband makes very few decisions for himself, so I'm certain I would have gotten the phone call about how to feed the children when there's really no time for it. I probably would have had someone making peanut butter sandwiches while the other child got dressed, and the sandwiches could be eaten on the way.
Most of our functions are quite the same as yours... pretty much everyone is showing up late.
I tend to actually be very early most of the time, to avoid the stress and because I always think it's going to take longer to get the kids ready than it actually does. It's never fun being the first one there when everyone else is getting there late!
2 people like this
@cicisnana (772)
• United States
2 Jun 10
Oh, we have to love those guys don't we? My husband is the same way, something is always more important than getting to a function on time. Rather it be finding the right tie to wear or even needing to vacuum the living room floor because he see's a cat hair someplace :) UGHHH, it drives me nuts too...and it seems to turn out the same way for us. We may be late, but most of the time it's just fine, and there DH is smiling smugly at me for stressing about it...if it's one of those times where something has started it doesn't bother him at all..
2 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
2 Jun 10
OMG does yours have to vacuum first too? Mine drives me nuts with that. We're going on vacation. Nobody's going to be in the house except for the cats and the girl who comes to feed them, and he has to vacuum. Drives me nuts.
1 person likes this
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
2 Jun 10
Well, I would join in on this rant with you, but I am the stupid female parent, since I am normally the one that is running late.
Although I do agree that I would have had the kids grab something quick and easy, like poptarts or something, to eat in the car on the way to the rehearsal instead of taking the time to stop at McDonalds.
Although I do agree that I would have had the kids grab something quick and easy, like poptarts or something, to eat in the car on the way to the rehearsal instead of taking the time to stop at McDonalds.2 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
2 Jun 10
Yeah but it was HER fault for forgetting her instrument to begin with.
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
2 Jun 10
See, now I wouldn't agree with that, because it wouldn't be fair to the one that gets left out from having McDonalds ... unless you picked up something for her after the rehearsal, and then that does sound like the best solution to the problem.
2 people like this
@much2say (55666)
• Los Angeles, California
2 Jun 10
Phew! I felt like I was getting late just by reading that! Hee hee. First, yay for Naomi to stick with band til the very end. Hope the concert went well!!
I know I can be late at times, but I don't like being late when it concerns the kids' outings. I want to teach them to get ready on time, and to be responsible for getting somewhere on time . . . but of course it feels like it doesn't happen most of the time (particularly when they are still little!). But I always aim high!!
When it comes to my hubby, bless his heart for trying to get it altogether. I do it all the time with the kids so I know the rhythm of it all, but it's harder for hubby as he doesn't have to deal with it all day, everyday. So I don't get on his case too much when it comes to them - hee hee.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
2 Jun 10
I was good. Sort of. I didn't get on his case. Very much...
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
2 Jun 10
Well I first made a comment about how "apparently food is more important than being on time", but I did later say that since he was in charge, I was fine with his making that choice even though it wasn't what I would have done.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
4 Feb 11
Gosh...that's my husband you described!
I've given up depending on him for anything of this sort (which involves punctuality) and if I can't help it and have to count on him, I just resign myself to the fact that we are all going to be late and be mentally prepared.
The last time he did this was 2 years ago when my little one was 2 and I was working at the same school. I had to be in school first to get the stage ready and hubby darling was to bring the little one..all ready for his show (which was the first one). Since he was still a toddler at the time, I knew he would be cranky if he had to come with me all that early and wouldn't perform his little part (walk on to the stage with his costume and his teacher and wave...quite a big thing for the little toddler). 5 minutes before the show was to start, all the kids in his class are backstage with the teacher and no news of my son...I keep calling and hubby doesn't pick up the phone. Just as the show starts, here comes hubby running in with 2 year old and 8 year old!! 2 year old sees me and refuses to go back stage....drag the crying little tot backstage...hand him a toy car (I do not approve of such bribes) into the little hands to calm him down and run off again. Luckily his part was half way through the show!!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Feb 11
That would have driven me right through the roof, and he would have been looking at me like "what's the big deal?"
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
3 Jun 10
I'm with you on this one. Punctuality is essential and lack of it is offensive.
Thankfully, my insistence on punctuality has rubbed off on my hubby. He used to think he could leave home at the time we were supposed to be there, even though it would take up to 15 minutes to get there. Now, he is even wanting to leave before I am.
On the way to looking at the pic.
1 person likes this
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
3 Jun 10
I don't think I trained him. All the boys are like me and I guess he just followed their example.
PS NOT FAIR! How come you can post a photo and I still can't???!!!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Jun 10
I guess I didn't do a good job at training him.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Jun 10
You just picked somebody who picks up on hints and/or follows examples, I guess. :D
I don't know. I just know that if I 1) upload the photo 2) preview the discussion and then 3) post the discussion, it works for me.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
3 Jun 10
Wow When I played in my concerts I Never ate Before the concert. But then again my mom and I were like you, We both Hate to be late. In fact we prefer to be early.But then again I Wanted to play in my concert. And knowing me if my mo Tried to force me to play a concert I didn't want to , I would have broke a finger so I couldn't. There was just one trip and one orchestra I didn't want to do and I did it but I made sure something went wrong. One I was bad , the other I just didn't play well. So now she is free! Yea! ps. Is Naomi the shorter young lady in the picture?
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Jun 10
Oh you know, for first and second year band, not bad... :D
@la_chique (1498)
•
3 Jun 10
Ugh men! lol. They dont seem to understand the concept of time. Mine is just the same!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Jun 10
I am always stressing because he is making me late. He is definitely a lot more casual about punctuality than I am.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
5 Jun 10
Well, I guess that I'm another of those parents that is distantly related to Richard's family because I remember many a time while I was growing up that I inhaled meals on the way to sporting events, concerts, etc. Now that I've got two children of my own that are starting to become very involved in all things and I know there will be times that we are late for events and I know that there are going to be plenty of meals that will be eaten in the car.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Jun 10
I have no problem with meals eaten in the car. Being late I have a problem with.
but I'm not OCD, really (Dawn goes into corner and babbles)...
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
4 Jun 10
Sounds like all that kept you busy and stressed out. hmm Hope you feel better today. :)
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Jun 10
Oh I felt better once we got to the concert and it went OK.
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
4 Jun 10
oh I am glad you felt better when you got to the concert. It goes to show music brings people together.
1 person likes this
@mario_stevens (6971)
• Malaysia
4 Jun 10
hehe...sounds like my parents when i was a kid 
both of them had different priorities, so we ended up being hungry or full, depending on which parent we went out with at the time
and the xylophone is so cool..!
it's not often one comes across a xylophone player over here..
both of them had different priorities, so we ended up being hungry or full, depending on which parent we went out with at the time
and the xylophone is so cool..! it's not often one comes across a xylophone player over here..1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Jun 10
She will be quitting band, but her brother wants to play the same instrument next year. He's more musical than she is, so maybe he'll keep on...
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
3 Jun 10
I vote your side. It is all about priorities and punctuality should be on top of the list. Her being late had the potential to affect the entire team who have all been working for this night. Eating can be done at any time. Her outfit should have been chosen and laid out the night before and ready to just hop into. This should have been a big night for her and so big that she would not have been willing to be late. Doesn't sound as if she really cares.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Jun 10
She's kind of scatterbrained. Apparently her Dad told her the day before to talk to me about an outfit for her and she never did. And it never even occurred to me that she would need to dress up. duh...
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
3 Jun 10
Hi, dawnald. I am sorry that she was 15 minutes late to rehearsal. I have been through the same thing too. I will be rushing, thinking that I am really late, when I get to my destination, I am late. But not so late, I have time to get situated and settled. But in the end, I am okay, and not so late.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Jun 10
This was OK too, I just got very stressed at the time!
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
3 Jun 10
That is men for you! Their priorities are completely different to ours! I guess R was trying to do the right thing by feeding the kids and probably was not aware that he pissed you off by making Naomi late. It is another example that when something important has to be dealt with we are better off doing it ourselves! Glad to hear Naomi did okay and wasn’t too late after all!
1 person likes this
@med889 (5941)
•
3 Jun 10
Hello there, well I am also like this,I always stressed on the fact that time is the most important thing in life ever. Even one minute is very important to me, I always want people to be on time whatever happens and I do not like to wait too.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Jun 10
Drives me totally nuts to be made late by somebody else. I get stressed and anxious and grumpy!
@hofferp (4734)
• United States
3 Jun 10
I could tell which one is Naomi...cute. Not being married...not living with a man...I would have been pi**ed. Even if it came out ok, I still would have been upset. I get knots in my stomach if I think I'm going to be late. Even now, and I'm retired. Hope Cary sticks with band. Let us know.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Jun 10
I get knots too. Being late just does that to me, especially when it's because of somebody else. Cary's a lot more musical than either of his sisters, and I bet he will stick with it.
@puddebear (34)
• United States
3 Jun 10
You ever hear the phrase "don't sweat the small stuff"? I agree it is annoying, but if you are still upset a day later, maybe you need to let go. I don't mean your feelings aren't valid, but who is being hurt? You. Do you think THEY are still thinking about it? Have a cookie and a glass of tea (or take YOURSELF to McDonald's) and chill girl. Life it toooooo short.
PS I had cancer, was diagnosed as terminal within 6 months - that was 7 years ago. And I STILL get upset over the little things! LOL Need to take my own advice. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Jun 10
Oh I let it go pretty easily, but at the time I was very, very stressed.
