When To be understanding and when to be hot tempered. Time to yell..............

hi mickeydurkikn did you ever hear the old story about a man with a board and a stubborn mule, and a passerby who was all upset with the man? seems the donkey was moving along swifly until the owner and the passerby came to this bridge. the donkey stopped and would not budge. all the coaxing and talking did not help;. so the owner whops the donkey on the head with a board. the donkey trots right across thr bridge in a hurry. the passerby bawls the owner out,cruel and inhuman. well drawls the owner, first you gotta get his attention. so maybe you had to get his attention first. lol I do not recommend clobbering the friend with selective hearing but you did the thing to get his attention. I have known people like that with the yeah I know, yeah I know, and they did not hear a word you said. I think you had to ultimately yell at me, clobber him with your voice, get his attention thenmaybe he will learn.

I always say think that women are more irritable than men but when I got married, I've proven that theory to be wrong. I can extend my patience for a long time and may understand but when I cant take it anymore, I am really going to turn green and become like Hulk. lol I yell when I need to yell, I yell when you well, but I can control myself and its better than a person would not trigger my anger so that I will still be able to extend more patience.

i think u did the right thing. sometimes we should say no to other people , even our friends. whatever kind of person ur friend is, he shouldnot ignore ur opinion and waste ur time. if he is a true friend, he will come back to u, feeling ashamed of what he has done to u. sometimes a flat refusal turns out to be a good thing.

Sad to say I have to deal with this type of people everyday. I can only rest dealing with them when it's my rest day. Part of my job as a Supervisor is to coach my staff to drive their performance. I have at least 4 staffs that I have to coach every week for at least three times a week and an hour each session. The most exhausting part here is that the topic is always the same- their absences, tardiness, laziness and attitude towards work. I caught two of them leaving the production. They were supposed to be working 7.5 hours a day but when I checked they only had 3 hours production. It turned out they went to our sleeping room and slept for more than 4 hours. Aside from the 4 hours they were gone they still took their additional 1 hour and 40 minutes break (lunch and coffee break). I've been so considerate with them. I don't issue memo since we have a process that after three memos they have to be endorsed for Admin Hearing and after that will be termination. It seems that whatever I am telling them during our sessions they don't take by heart. This has been going on for more than 6 months now. So this week I decided to give them a sanction and penalty. I have given them Written Warning and after which if their attitude will continue then sorry but they have to leave the company. I feel bad about it. I've been very considerate with them because they are family man. However, I can no longer tolerate this. It also seems they are not taking me seriously. That's why I told them that I will no longer allow such attitude to go on. Let's see what will happen now. I've given them a lot of chance but sorry I really have to let them go if they would still not take their job and me seriously.

i'm not one to yell. when i feel that the person i'm talking to is not really paying attention or refusing to understand, well i would just get up and leave. i would tell him that we can talk again when he is ready to listen.

I think you were right on the money with that one! After telling him what he wanted to know that many time, yeah, you had a right to yell. I am surrounded by people like this and it drives me crazy! So, I'm not so nice when they continue to ask, and not listen. Maybe I'm not the right person to answer this question...lol

I think I would have lost my cool too if I were trying to help out someone who obviously isn't helping himself/herself out. There was one incident where I could definitely relate to what you where talking about. It was way back in college when we were working as a team and a groupmate begged us to include her in the group because the group she belonged to where composed of people who were not really keen on completing their report because they were sure that they'd fail the subject anyway. After utterly begging us and the teacher to transfer her to our team, we reluctantly accepted her thinking that her record of just joining the team but not really contributing would change. Well, it didn't we ended up doing her share of the report last-minute when she told us that she was busy for personal reasons. It wasn't until someone told us that she had gone to a party with a boyfriend that we decided to ditch her. She was furious but we didn't care at all. I think all of us have kind hearts to those who need our help, and we even go out of our way to help them out, but the time that they show us that they're not worth it, I don't think it's rude or bad to tell them about it even if it causes tension. I would probably have done what you have done to that guy.

As much as possible I try my best to control my temper and be patient but there are certain situations where you can't really control yourself. In your case, you should have given your friend a few warnings, telling him in a nice manner that you needed his 100% attention. Then if after those warnings he still refused to pay attention, that's the time you probably yelled.

I think in most situations yelling does nothing. It only makes the other person agitated. It never really solves the problem at hand. I think a better way to handle the situation is to calmly explain to the person the reason why they should listen to you. You should also find out why they are not doing so. It is possible that there is something on their mind. Screaming should be used as a last resort only in emergency situations.