Why do I feel stressed everytime I try to avoid the person I love?

Philippines
June 3, 2010 10:53am CST
My reason of not spending much time with them is because I want to give them more space to breath and also for my own sanity. However, I feel stressed when I do it and I lose some cest. Though I think it is just a matter of the way I think about it. I still have this idea that I can remain detach and be independent.
7 responses
• Philippines
4 Jun 10
i get the same feeling. sometimes the commitment can be tiring; being with the one you love can eat up all your time which leaves none to spend on yourself. the best way to get over this feeling is to do things you love...do your hobbies to past time in peace without getting stressed.
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
Thanks. But that may also be another cause of the stress... the lack of commitment. :)
@med889 (5941)
4 Jun 10
You feel stressed because you maybe do not have all the answers to the questions of your love one to answer back, If you want to give yourself more space then it is really okay however to avoid someone like this is not good maybe you should tell that person everything clearly, so that everything is clear in the relationship.
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
Thanks for the advice. But you see it is hard for me to do that now. I don't have the right to do so and I think I am just seeing things and believing things that I don't have basis for. Being quiet and keeping it to myself would at least not bother them, and not lose this person's respect of me.
@am4peace (92)
• Malaysia
3 Jun 10
hmm..about why??... because you luv someone.. and you'll feel so stress when your luv someone...and what if happens when someone that you luv will go out with somebody???....stressed again right??... well give a confession now
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
sometimes we have to keep things to ourselves for the sake of others.
@aauecon06 (204)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
Its really normal to feel that way since you had said it from your words that you love them. I guess everyone feels the same way if they avoid the person that they love. Maybe, you are confused with what you really want or you're just thinking too much about it. Its nice to know that you give them space once in a while because as the cliche says too much of everything could lead to worse things. Why don't you try to explore what you really want. Take a vacation alone and see if you really wanted to be independent and if you can do it. However, you must not forget to bond with the ones you love because it will cause a ruckus to your relationship with them.
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
Thanks for that advise. I really wanted to go out for a vacation on my own and think and internalize. However, time is what I don't have because of my work. Mylot helps me somehow to spend quality time expressing my sentiments and get to meet sensible people like you. :)
@hurbx182 (23)
• United States
3 Jun 10
I could be wrong but it sounds to me like your in love with this person. No one wants to be away from that person no matter how independent they are. Not knowing your situation i will say though that true love is hard to find. So you may be stressed not knowing what theyre doing and the thought of losing them. Maybe you shouldnt avoid them. Because what if you do lose them because of it?
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
Lol. You are very perceptive. Well you see, I was indeed in love before. But then again, I have to think twice if I indeed love the person. Being in love and true love is two different thing. If I love this person, then I must learn to accept their shortcomings and forgive fully. It is hard for me do this though right now. I tend to notice things that I don't like about this person. Anyway, that actually is the source of my stress.
@bamamo (40)
3 Jun 10
I know how you feel. I'm the same way. The best thing you can do is try to stay busy, get a new hobby, throw yourself into your work, exercise, etc. It's good that you are at least trying to give them some space, it's a start.
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
Thanks for sharing. It makes me think and believe that we go through this process to be stronger. I wish you luck too.
@rameshchow (4426)
• India
3 Jun 10
To avoid the stress we should dipped into another works. There we have some relief, stessfree, and increase the interest on work. We should tell to our friends what ever the problem we have or we may tell to others who are looking good for us. This is a way of stressfree. WE HAVE TO DO SOMEWORK, IT WILL REALLY HELPS US, TO AVOID BAD THOUGHTS WHICH ARE PAINFUL TO OUR MIND.
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
Thanks for the advise. I have done what you said and it does somehow relieve me of stress. However, this solution is somewhat temporary. Maybe if I do this for longer period of time, I will eventually recover.