betrayal

I'm so sorry Setsuna! I may not have come so close to how you actually must have felt. But I would be equally confused and mad if it had been me. As a friend I would say what's past is past! Just take a look at the positive side. Wouldn't it be now than later when things between both of you might probably become more complicated. She wasn't sure of herself probably. And it's best to forgive her, forget her and move on. What lies ahead, your future, demands a lot more of your attention than something petty like this in the past. I know it's not that easy! Cry it out, scream it out, punch and kick the punching bag if you may, but don't loose yourself. You just have to move on! I wish you all the luck in the world. Take care!

It's a shame she wasn't honest w/u from the start. I think u both used each other for the 'night benefits'. That's too bad that u let your heart get involved but it's hard not to. Hope u find u a good honest girl w/no baggage anywhere else.

setsuna26, There's an old adage that says: "You reap what you sow", and since you knew from day one that this relationship is nothing but benefits. What else do you expect? I am sorry but if you build your tower on stilts then don't even expect it to be successfully completed. You will just see it tumbling and eventually bury you with its rubble. If you really want to start a serious relationship, then let me suggest that you start with the right footing. Stop doing these "friends with benefits" paradigm and learn what it means to be faithful, honest and committed. Not being judgmental but if she could do such a thing with you while she is committed to a relationship - stop and think what a cuckold you will be when the sides are changed. So what if she has the hottest bod or looks? There's just every thing and part of her that says that she is not private property and she is meant to be shared. I say you had better wake yourself up and move on.

First she betrayed both you and the fiance. I'd let that one go and do your best to move on. All that stuff she was doing friends with benefits and talking to you at all hours of the night was cheating on her fiance so how do you know she wouldn't do the same to you? After all she claims to love him more yet who was she with all the time? Move on and eventually you'll find someone who doesn't play those kind of games.

I think the right thing to do is maybe forget her. After all, she did betray you, and left yo for someone else. There's someone better out there for you; this girl was just using you. You should find someone else, distract yourself. After all, she didn't really seem to care about your feelings. Someday, you'll see her unhappy with her fiance and she'll come back begging for you. That'll be your chance to prove to her what she is missing, and for her to feel the karma that she deserves.

hi setsuna26 .. i look at your profile and i see you are 27 years old now..but you did not mention how old the girl was..well all you can do is move on.she just come to you cos she missed her boyfriend in melbourne and she just needs you for the sake of companionship.. hope you get me and i am sorry for what ive said but i know this is the real thing that goes on between you and this girl.. just stay cool..

This is crazy sets. I would just chalk it up as experience, learn from it and move on. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. You will know better next time. Move slower and get to know the ins and outs of the girls before moving to the next level. Outright ask if she is seeing anyone else. Get to know what she wants out of the friendship first before becoming intimate to avoid being hurt even more emotionally. Look after you, first and foremost.

You could tell her how you feel, but since she has already told you how she feels, there probably isn't anything you can do about it other than let her go.

Just moved on and their is nothing to wait for when you are already learn she likely have other interest to other than you. If ever have encounter the same situation i really never felt bad or relying on some guess feeling when their is nothing to rely on. I just pass the time and it is rather a friendly gestures. Just taking time to know each other does not mean their is something need to be happen and expect for something. i experience the same things an d for me their is nothing formal or serious happening unless he or she say something more than the usual messages. So nothing to concludes and nothing to expect to is better than taking other interpretation when their is none to hope for..:)

Hi Setsuna. I think she betrayed you because she didn't tell you about her love in another place. Maybe she was looking for someone else and she didn't think you was exactly what she was looking for. Some people are always looking for something better then what they have. I would write her off and move on with my life. I wouldn't forget the experiences you had with her, I would next time I met someone I was thinking about ask them right off the bat if they were with someone else though. It was a learning experience move on an be happy in what ever you do in your life.

Just let it be and move on. After all you did say that you were just friends with benefits. I don't think she betrayed you, but she certainly betrayed her fiancee didn't she. To be honest I don't think she was ever looking for anything more with you. So forget about her, put it down to experience and move on.

Always try to build a relationship with a girl not on the premise, "She will never betray me" but on the premise, "What if she betrays me". People who go on pinning hopes on any and every thing, more often than not are bound to get disappointed. Obvious inference I can draw from the incident you have narrated is the girl made a good use of you. She had her fun and got from you what she wanted. Moreover, she left you writhing in pain and with a greater longing for her. She knew exactly how you would feel. All you know she must be smiling to herself. May be she does not have anyone in Melbourne, and she cooked up that story for greater effect. Now draw a solace that you had your fun too. Would you get into an everlasting relationship with someone who goes about hoping in and out of bed just for sake of pleasure? Consider yourself lucky that she did not take you for a ride for too long. Maybe if she had to stretch friendship with you little further you would finally find yourself in a lurch. In that case, you would have been sitting there nursing deeper wounds. Count your blessings and wait patiently for miss right to come along since you are waiting for one. This kind of escapades would only bring you more heartache.