Alone and Hapy or Married and miserable?

Well I have to say that yes that is a no brainer haha. But then again I remember when I was a teenager feeling like I would never find anyone who wanted me. So when I finally found someone who did and I didnt know if it was going to work out I started to back out of the wedding. My dress and invites had already been bought and my mother and my sister said to me that if I didnt marry him no one would ever marry me. I was terrified of being alone so I went through with the wedding and regretted it ever since. My ex and I are still married but getting a divorce. I was miserable for the last 6 years. The only thing good that came out of my marriage was 2 awesome kids. Now I see that I can be alone and be happy I dont need a man to make me happy because its not going to happen.

Why so negative? you know there is a great chance too that you chose well and end up stuck in a happily married life, with someone who really completes you. Ever thought of it that way too, there is a chance that you have some degree of good judgement and may find some one who loves you.

As I've always said, I will never marry; I rather be merry. A comedian advises to save time; just give a house and half your wealth to a woman you don't like. Marriage is overrated as is seen by the divorce rates. People are marrying any ole person with no real long term commitment. Without such a commitment it is more a slap in the face of the institution than allowing same gendered people to marry. For those who are christian, just remember what Jesus said about divorces and marriages. I wonder if there would be less divorces if people just get dogs or cats as pets instead of being married, if they are so miserable being alone. Now I would probably feel different if I wanted to be a breeder, doing my part to raise the population level of this crowded planet. But with no stigma in being illegitimate these days, presently I don't think it's even necessary then. The kid may feel differently after growing up, but that would be his problem, not mine. Heh, I'd make a wonderful parent, wouldn't I?

Hi Sarah! There is saying which goes like it - "Marriage is like a big castle, those (read bachelors) who are outside the castle, want to enter into it and those who are inside the castle (read married) want to come out of it." In nut shell, both being married and bachelor has its own distinct advantage or disadvantages and it is up to an individual which way he chooses.

Actually my choices would be: 1. with somebody who is right for me 2. alone 3. married and miserable #3 isn't even a choice...

almost agreeing with you but not 100%, if the god is decided to give you a wife who can understand you the most and some lovely children then why shouldnt you take that way. there are always two sides for that coin and if you are so lucky you will get a nice wife who can lower your tension and thus make your life more enjoyable, if the case is different alone is good

Marriage is one of a huge compromise and adjustment. It all depends on the mental makeup of a person..I cannot think of a life without marriage but I have seen both men and women being unmarried till their last. Now, how happy these people were is purely individual. There is likely to be feeling ,a sense of loneliness and not beloning to anyone at some point of time after parents have apssed away. If a person has an extraordinary rapport with siblings and they too are single or this unmarried person gets along famously with nieces , nephews, friends thereby countering that loneliness it IS alright. Or if the person can be totally selfcontented without connecting with anyone or just be happy serving society or doing somehting to feel totally happy then also it is a purely indivdual choice. One must know oneself and what a person's aptitude is. SOme are loners , they never have the social need to connect with another person and these can be without marriage.

Hmmm... I think you are looking for a singular answer. But in life, there will be ups and downs - nothing is definite. Perhaps if we chose to be alone and happy that could work for a few years then soon you'd want to be with someone then you start to feel lonely - that happens. Further, perhaps now you are miserable and married but if you do something about it, you could be happy with your family and husband. It really depends on your point-of-view. Besides, happiness is a decision, and you cannot depend on anybody else for happiness than yourself be it single or married.

I am alone and happy! If I was married I would be miserable! I have seen and do see alot of miserable marriages! I see alot of miserable people but for whatever reason they stay in a miserable marriage! Being happy and alone you have your freedom,privacy,you don't have to answer to anyone,no agruements with another person,you can come and go as you please! It gets lonely at times but I deal with it!

Probably you may say that it will be a nightmare to be in a marriage full of hatred, disrespect,unloving and jealousy. Yes if that was the case, being single is blessed. But this depends on the person, either he or she can live alone and be happy, or to live a life that is the other way around. We live in a life with so many decisions to make, and settling down with the person whom we know is for us is a major thing to do. Our decision will make us or break us, so before settling down, we should be asking God for help if this was the right thing to do, if the person is really the one for us who can draw us closer to God and put God as the center of our relationship.

I really do not know why people say that marriage and being miserable goes hand in hand. I am happily married for the past 15 years and can vouch the same for my hubby because even today I have to literally push him out of the house or make him attend parties. There are miserable marriages but then not all marriages are miserable if you can adjust and do some small compromises but that should be from both the sides.

I am married since 1968 to my wife, it is just once, we are perfectly happy couple with kids and grankids, but i agree many are alone and happy , some married and miserable... Thanks for sharing. Welcome always. Cheers. Prof

I think there are three possible state: married and happy, married and miserable, and alone in the middle. I take marriage as a bet, you have both change to find the people, or fall into hell. Some people are lucky, they found the person when they were little, there made deep love between them, some people are luckier, they found the person only by one meeting. But most are unlucky, they failed the bet and fell into hell. I don't want to bet my remaining life, I prefer to be alone & happy. Have a great day and Happy Lotting!

My personal thoughts on the matter of being married, being happy and being miserable. Being happy is a choice; being married is a choice; and being miserable is a choice. If I would like to choose, I would like to be married and happy. That's what I like but it didn't turn out that way. Even if it didn't out that way, I still choose to be happy. There is no reason that much to turn me to become miserable and lonely. There are still much reason to be happy.

I don't know why it can not be married and happy?:) But according to your this question, it is an easy option because everybody wants to have a happy life. So obviously I prefer to be alone and happy rather than married and miserable. I love China

That's why I got a divorce...part of it. I was married and lonely....I get lonely now while I am single but its for my kids who don't live around here.....

Alone & happy every time!