Why Can't My Husband Help Me Out..Just Once?
By Janey1966
@Janey1966 (24170)
Carlisle, England
June 6, 2010 6:59pm CST
First of all; apologies to those who have responded to previous discussions of mine and I haven't replied yet..I will do, I promise. It's just that I've been away at Mum's for a few days and only got back a few hours ago.
It's like I've never been away! In a negative way too. Granted, I love to see my husband and the cat but everything else is the same. He hasn't helped out around the house apart from cleaning the bathroom and he has left the grill-pan for me to clean as he "forgot" to clean it himself. He has also let the cat roam everywhere including the dining table. I don't normally let her on there but he obviously couldn't be bothered moving her off it.
I realise that he works long hours but surely he could spend an hour over the two weekends I wasn't around to put some effort in and actually help me out..just a bit? He hasn't even bought any potatoes and the shop's only over the road.
I was most put out at him telling me that the in-laws want to "buy us a telly" for when he reaches his 40th birthday in September. No way can I stamp my personality on this house if they keep buying us stuff. I know it is kind of them but I have told John that I shall buy a telly if I get a job I've had an interview for. I will know about the outcome at the back end of next week I should think. I want to be able to afford televisions and the like and not rely on his parents so much. He does too but he's only said "no" to the telly because I don't like the idea. Typical of him to blame me.
If I don't get the job I'm seriously considering throwing in the towel and moving back to Mum's permanently as I am so fed up with being here and not being appreciated for ME as opposed to my cleaning, which is what it feels like at the moment. I have tried talking to him about how I feel but he keeps laughing it off as though I'm not serious about the fact I think he's a lazy s*d at times. He just sits there watching telly when I'm not here.
Does anyone else have this problem? I hope not.
I was most put out at him telling me that the in-laws want to "buy us a telly" for when he reaches his 40th birthday in September. No way can I stamp my personality on this house if they keep buying us stuff. I know it is kind of them but I have told John that I shall buy a telly if I get a job I've had an interview for. I will know about the outcome at the back end of next week I should think. I want to be able to afford televisions and the like and not rely on his parents so much. He does too but he's only said "no" to the telly because I don't like the idea. Typical of him to blame me.
If I don't get the job I'm seriously considering throwing in the towel and moving back to Mum's permanently as I am so fed up with being here and not being appreciated for ME as opposed to my cleaning, which is what it feels like at the moment. I have tried talking to him about how I feel but he keeps laughing it off as though I'm not serious about the fact I think he's a lazy s*d at times. He just sits there watching telly when I'm not here.
Does anyone else have this problem? I hope not.3 people like this
17 responses
@TheAdvocate (2392)
• Philippines
7 Jun 10
I hear you. My boyfriends drove me crazy as they always depended on me for every little thing! They just can't seem to function without a woman. Drives me crazy when they leave their stuff lying around expecting me to pick up after them. Nowadays, my criteria is one who will take care of me, and not the other way around. So far I have not been successful...
I think men are wired differently from us. Women are more detail-oriented while men tend to look at the big picture. I don't think your husband means anything with his actions. He just does not see it the way you do. They are always thinking of the here and now, never the future.
I don't know if this will work for you, but it did for me, but try not to sweat the small stuff and concentrate on the blessings. In the bigger scheme of things, an un-bought potato will not matter much in the long run. I know a lot of wives have trouble with the in-laws, but they seem to care a lot about your well-being and even want to buy you a telly. When I shifted my perspective, I have learned to appreciate my man more and I think our relationship is better for it. Although he still leaves his things lying around...
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
7 Jun 10
Thanks for that lovely response, you have cheered me up..well, a little lol.
You are right; men are definitely wired differently. My Dad is exactly the same. The only time Mum gets help is when I'm there!
I really don't think mess bothers them like it bothers us. If I sat around here doing nothing every day I dread to think what this house would look like..and John wouldn't complain about it, that's the difference.
I know it looks like I don't appreciate him. I do, I really do. Sometimes, though, he can be a real pain in the rectum lol. Having said that, I can be a pain in the rectum too although we never argue..you know, like "shouting match" arguing. We tend to have disagreements.
I know it sounds silly but I get wound up when the in-laws offer to buy us stuff..like the telly I mentioned because it brings it home to me that I have no money of my own and cannot go out and buy one without them. You see what I'm getting at? I'd really like to look at something and think to myself, "wow, I bought that" like I used to do with my hi-fi equipment.
I am sure our life will improve but when that will be is dependant on whether or not I get the job I was interviewed for...and I have had 5 interviews at the NHS now and if this is unsuccessful I won't be too pleased!
You are right; men are definitely wired differently. My Dad is exactly the same. The only time Mum gets help is when I'm there!
I really don't think mess bothers them like it bothers us. If I sat around here doing nothing every day I dread to think what this house would look like..and John wouldn't complain about it, that's the difference.
I know it looks like I don't appreciate him. I do, I really do. Sometimes, though, he can be a real pain in the rectum lol. Having said that, I can be a pain in the rectum too although we never argue..you know, like "shouting match" arguing. We tend to have disagreements.
I know it sounds silly but I get wound up when the in-laws offer to buy us stuff..like the telly I mentioned because it brings it home to me that I have no money of my own and cannot go out and buy one without them. You see what I'm getting at? I'd really like to look at something and think to myself, "wow, I bought that" like I used to do with my hi-fi equipment.
I am sure our life will improve but when that will be is dependant on whether or not I get the job I was interviewed for...and I have had 5 interviews at the NHS now and if this is unsuccessful I won't be too pleased!
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
7 Jun 10
Hello, Janey. It sounds as if you're both depressed, and the in-laws aren't helping. Yes, it's a generous offer, but they should stop and think that what they're doing is emphasising the fact that you have no money. It sounds as if they want to have too much input into your marriage.
My husband is just the same - he thinks washing up occasionally and taking the rubbish out is 'doing his bit.' The rest of the time, he just potters around, making a mess wherever he goes and never offering to clean it up. Then after a while, he'll say, 'Shouldn't we tidy up a bit?' That sends me off into the stratosphere!
You need to ask yourself if his laziness is a major problem, or just something you're latching onto to hide the bigger picture. Only you can decide that, but you have my best wishes.
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
8 Jun 10
Hello again. If the inlaws won't let the telly thing drop, ask them to treat you to a weekend break together, so you can both enjoy some time away from everyday stuff. That will also send out the message that you value spending time together over all else - even if it's not quite true at the moment - and it will give you a break from the routine.
As for the job comparison, he needs to let that go. 2 years is a long time to be having a hissy fit over something that can't be changed. I see he lost his job around the time you got married. Do you think that somewhere, deep down, he sees getting married as the start of your troubles? I know it doesn't make sense, but he's a man, isn't he, and they don't do logical when it comes to emotional stuff. Think about it, because it could explain a lot.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
8 Jun 10
The thing is; even if he hadn't got married to me he still would've lost his job and ended up where he is now. The only difference is I'm here and - believe me, I don't cost a lot to maintain i.e. I don't buy clothes, that type of thing.
That is a good idea about a holiday and I did think about it a lot. However, when I mentioned this to Mum earlier (instead of the in-laws buying us a telly) she said, "For God's sake, if they want to buy you a telly let them! You really need a telly, you can't afford one so snap their hands off!" I really was expecting her to kinda side with me but she's gone the opposite way and when I said that the telly would remind me of the in-laws all the time she said "Let it! Put it this way, you will gain a telly for nothing!"
Fair enough! At least I can pick my own this time, unlike the printer situation a few weeks ago that was sprung upon me when I least expected it.
Mind you, John said earlier that his car might become a "priority" instead as it's slowly falling to bits. Just my luck. Why he mentioned the telly in the first place is beyond me!
I give up!!!
Fair enough! At least I can pick my own this time, unlike the printer situation a few weeks ago that was sprung upon me when I least expected it.
Mind you, John said earlier that his car might become a "priority" instead as it's slowly falling to bits. Just my luck. Why he mentioned the telly in the first place is beyond me!
I give up!!!@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
7 Jun 10
Well I know that John losing his long-standing job from Thurnams in 2008 upset him greatly as it was a big shock to everybody and he (in his mind at least) compares his new job with his old one, it's only natural he does this. I also know that he hates the commute to Penrith every day and compares the two. To be honest, I think it's this that makes him tired. He did just as much work at Thurnams but was nowhere near as tired as he is now. This is probably why cleaning wasn't on his agenda although I didn't expect him to do as much as I do as I have more time to do it all than he does.
Interestingly, I shall shortly be receiving a letter to see a gynaecologist. Maybe he or she can point me in the right direction on how to get the passion back. Finding a job would be a start I (and to sort out my health problems) but, yes, you are quite right, there are "issues" that need to be dealt with.
You are spot on with the in-laws comment too as when I told John I wasn't happy about this telly thing he actually agreed with me and said that he hates it when they offer to buy stuff like that as well. At least he's said "no" to them but I know they won't let it drop because we don't want a party!!
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
7 Jun 10
I have often wondered what the benefits are of being married and..currently I can't think of any. When I was single my social life wasn't the best but isn't now either and I'm married! If we do go out it revolves around our football mates or his work. We NEVER go out on a proper date all by ourselves.
Cats are so much simpler to get along with than humans, it does my head in.
1 person likes this
@sallyj (1225)
• United States
7 Jun 10
I think i am dealing with a man like that.
If i ask him to do anything for me i hear "You're not my mother".
You bet i am not, i worked the first 35 years of our marriage, beside home, kids.
His mother did not work.
I'll stop there, because that is a touchy subject here too.
@GardenGerty (160721)
• United States
7 Jun 10
Maybe he is depressed when you are gone? I am not playing the devil's advocate, just speculating. You guys need to have some fun together that you both enjoy when you are there. Not with his folks. Of course, it is easier said than done.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
7 Jun 10
That is a horrible thing for him to say. As for John (my hubby) he DOES help me out but only when I'm here, such as helping me with the washing up, that type of thing. I really am grateful and mention it many times to him but it all goes downhill when I'm away. He does absolutely nothing, eats trash and crashes out for hours at a time. Yes, he works but if I worked I'd still have to cook and clean as well, you know what I mean?
1 person likes this
@karen1969 (1779)
•
15 Jun 10
It is a difficult problem. I know there have been times I have been away or ill and my husband hasn't done as much round the house as I would hope. He works full time and I am a housewife, so I understand the house is my domain, but sometimes I'd like him to do more. He does some washing up at weekends, cooks a couple of times a year, takes the rubbish out sometimes. But I do all the laundry along with my son, me and the kids do all the pet chores (cleaning, feeding, grooming, etc.), I cook 5-7 days a week - so yes, it does get annoying at times.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
15 Jun 10
John does cook at weekends sometimes and he always helps me washing up so I can't complain about that. He tends to hoover when I'm away but no dusting or polishing as Dysons seem to fascinate blokes don't they?
1 person likes this
@karen1969 (1779)
•
16 Jun 10
That could be true. We do have a Dyson and Hubby occasionally uses it. It's funny though, I have 3 daughters and a son and it is my 18 year old son who does the most around the house!
@jmchloe_hef (33)
• Philippines
11 Jun 10
I feel sorry for you and me and for all the married people out there ahaha lol..You know the saying ``Marriages are made in heaven, but they sure take a lot of maintenance on earth!
Great marriages take work and it`s worth the work!....
It doesn`t mean that when you started seeing the negative side of your partner you will just file a divorce right away..you should try to work it out first but after doing the best that you can do and he is still the same then its time to move on,Im not against divorce but we should check our options first,you`ll never know whats going to happen especially if your husband really loves you, he will definitely cooperate if he is starting to see the possibility that he might lose you when he keeps on being lazy...
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
11 Jun 10
Luckily, I'm not away from him that often. Leave him to his own devices and that's when I have problems. However, I tend to make a better job of the cleaning anyway so either way he can't win. Haha!
Welcome to MyLot by the way.
1 person likes this
@jmchloe_hef (33)
• Philippines
12 Jun 10
Thanks,I'm loving MyLot already..I'm learning a lot from this site..Wow atleast it makes you a bitter oh i mean better wife hehehe lol.....
@GardenGerty (160721)
• United States
7 Jun 10
Janey, I had a very responsible job, that I hesitated to take, but when I first took it, hubby was a great help, and kept the kitchen clean, and did laundry. I did not complain about how he did it (laundry) because I appreciated what he did, and nothing was ruined. He has always been able to clean a kitchen better than I can, and he cooks wonderfully. However, as they piled more and more on me at work, he did less and less at home. I do not know why, except perhaps he missed me. He hates lists, and if I make one, he loses it. The stress of the job and some personal issues (not with hubby) got to me, and I was scheduled for a small foot surgery. I resigned my job while off on sick leave. I do more around the house, but I am getting more from him as well now. Unfortunately, there is now drama at his work, and the house is needing tons of things suddenly. It has completely taken my savings, and we still owe extra, and we are not sure he has a job anymore. I had a chance at a well paying temp. job and have taken it. I was gone most of last week and will be gone most of this week. I came home to a clean kitchen, food cooked, laundry washed, but not folded and put away. However, the stuff I asked for did not get done. I know he misses me, and I miss him, but I think this is good for us, for me to be away, it is waking him up to what he needs to be doing.I just wish that the money could be used for wants instead of needs. I want to buy him a couple of special things, but cannot right now.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
7 Jun 10
Thanks for that detailed response, I read it all with interest as some of it rang true with our situation. I hope you can buy your hubby something very soon; I would love to do so with mine too.
If I think hard about it our lives have never been the same since he was made redundant from a printing firm he'd been at for 21 years, practically since leaving school. That happened soon after we got married in April 2008. I was at Mum's when he rang me to tell me the news and I just couldn't believe it. I realised that work was "slow" but, ironically, some of it had gone to a rival printers that he now works for. This is in Penrith so he has to drive there and back, a 30 mile round trip in a car that is slowly falling apart and he cannot afford to buy another one. He is using his Dad's at the moment so his Dad can take John's car into a garage to, hopefully, get repaired. The car is haemorrhaging money and I wonder how much more John can take. There are no jobs like his within Carlisle so he has no choice but to drive further afield.
If I don't get this job I've recently been interviewed for I have no idea what happens next. If I leave him that's the easy way out and there will be no-one here to support him. His parents have bailed him out before but I know for a fact he doesn't like admitting to them how bad his finances are..or to me for that matter!
To cap it all I rang the doctor regarding my Womb Scan and have got to go in to see someone this afternoon, so I'm anxious about that now.
@carlynganda (749)
• Philippines
7 Jun 10
glad that i'm not married yet..i hope my soon to be husband will not be lazy like your husband..but i've read somewhere before that there's a study about it..and it shows that the wife always dump the most odious job on men when they are trying to help so that's make them stop offering to help..but still that is not acceptable..husbands should help their wives around the house..
@carlynganda (749)
• Philippines
10 Jun 10
that is definitely true..i know you can rectify his mistakes..good luck in saving your marriage..
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
7 Jun 10
There is something I have read that says that marriages succeed of the chores in the house are shared, especially if both are working. No wonder divorces are sky-high!
He is OK most of the time, it's only when I'm away that he reverts back to bachelor mode. Maybe I should be more tolerant as it doesn't take much to rectify his mistakes lol.
@snowy22315 (180979)
• United States
8 Jun 10
yes, yes and yes. My guy does little or nothing around the house. It is really irritating. He does do the dishes and has taken to making the bed in the morning, and will cut the grass when he is in the mood, but other than that it is up to me to do every cotton pickin thing around here, and he doesn't even work. He gets income and gives me a little cash every month, but i'm not thrilled with what he does.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
8 Jun 10
Sorry to hear that. My Dad makes a big thing about mowing the "lawn" which is just a small, square piece of grass really. Mum loves his mower though as it is impossible to set it to what Mum describes as "bald" which is what he used to do with the previous mower. It looks much better not having bald patches all over it but Dad is frustrated about this and no-one knows why!
Sometimes hubby will leave clothes that he has worn on the floor as opposed to in the ottoman (I think that's what it is, designed for duvet covers normally) and I just leave the clothes lying there until he decides what to do with them. There's no way I'd leave clothes on the floor like that, especially ones that need washing.
I give up!!
Sometimes hubby will leave clothes that he has worn on the floor as opposed to in the ottoman (I think that's what it is, designed for duvet covers normally) and I just leave the clothes lying there until he decides what to do with them. There's no way I'd leave clothes on the floor like that, especially ones that need washing.
I give up!!
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
8 Jun 10
I don't have the same problem with cleaning as my husband has a lower tolerance for mess than I do. But I do have a problem with being taken seriously. For example, talking serious stuff at bedtime and first thing in the morning. For some reason, my brain isn't fully awake at those times and I just can't process a lot of serious stuff, especially emotional stuff when I'm not fully awake. And I have communicated that to my husband so many times that I feel like a broken record (does anybody even use that expression any more? lol). I have very specifically requested that if he has something serious to discuss, he should come up to me and tell me that and ask if it's a good time. I have been doing this for over a year. NOT ONCE has he come up and done that. He just starts downloading. Usually this is at bedtime, but sometimes it is first thing in the morning, when I am reading, when I am on the computer, in that order. Just starts blabbing... And then he goes on about whether I am happy that he's trying so hard. How the heck does disrespecting my wishes over and over again = trying so hard? It wasn't until I actually told him I was filing for divorce that he semi got serious about trying to understand where I was coming from. But one day it's all "he totally gets me, finally" and the next day it's "same old same old". I don't think he ever will "get me", sadly. Sorry for the rant, but point is, sometimes you can say things over and over again and it just doesn't sink it, maybe because they were raised differently, or maybe because they're wired differently. I hope that's not the case with you. All you can do is clearly tell him what you want, make sure he understands, and let him know what you're going to do if you don't get what you need. Be consistent. And I hope it works...
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Jun 10
Nope he's a Cancer. Hmph I didn't get my notification for this response. I guess myLot isn't listening to me either. lol
I'm glad to hear about the treadmill test. At least that's one thing off your mind.
Infections. Such fun. NOT...
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
8 Jun 10
I'd be amazed if your hubby isn't a Scorpio. Am I right? Doesn't excuse his behaviour though. I can tell you are frustrated and I would be too if that happened to me on a regular basis.
It struck home when you said "being raised differently" because John has definitely been raised differently from me. I can't put my finger on how he was raised because he has never said...but it all revolves around his mother and her drinking habits. I reckon the house was probably like a morgue when she was in one of her moods and, to some extent it is like that now sometimes when we go round. She is very hard to read unlike her husband, who I get along with much better as he is more open to a normal conversation! John's Mum is also hyper-sensitive. When I confronted her over the phone about the Coke incident (the drink lol) I couldn't get through to her at all...not at the time anyway. What I think has happened since then is that her husband has talked to her about it and - basically, has told her to back off..and she has..apart from wanting to buy us a telly. Mum has told me to not be so silly in not wanting it and - in her words, "snap her hands off if she wants to buy you a telly because you certainly can't afford to buy one." She is right as well!
By the way, my treadmill test was normal and my doctor said I was given a "proper little workout" without any ill effects, so I am pleased about that. Also, with the womb scan, nothing untoward there but the gyny will be the next chap to see as I may have an infection or some such thing. I've told the doc to make a note about my..er, sensitivity as regards examinations in that area!
She reckons a coil may be the answer but I told her I'd have to be "put under" for that. Mum had one for 25 years and when it was taken out by her doc he was amazed as it looked as good as new..copper one!
She reckons a coil may be the answer but I told her I'd have to be "put under" for that. Mum had one for 25 years and when it was taken out by her doc he was amazed as it looked as good as new..copper one!1 person likes this
@thedailyclick (3017)
•
7 Jun 10
Okay so as a bloke I am not going to make any excuses for why we think completely differently and often seem to be inconsiderate but maybe I can throw some light on things.
The other year when my mother ended up in hospital for a week leaving my dad to fend for himself he basically did …… just. But all those extra touches such as washing the grill pan, emptying the newspaper rack never got done and when I mentioned them to him he said he didn’t consider them as immediately important. As he said fending for himself after so many years was a bit of a culture shock and so he hadn’t got a routine to do all these things, he did what he considered essential. To give him credit just before my mum came out of hospital he was getting into a routine, although as you can guess that all changed when she returned.
So I put it down to the fact that it is the sort of culture shock of suddenly having do things that are not part of the routine and so it becomes an almost survival sort of thing of doing those things deemed essential whilst learning.
None of which is an excuse.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
7 Jun 10
At least you have given me an insight as to what may be happening in John's brain. You are right, some things he doesn't think are important but stuff such as emptying the cat's litter tray is obviously an essential requirement whilst I'm away. He's not sorted out any recycling though and has left that to me. This is annoying and if I mention it to him he will bang on about the bags being left out for hours on end until he returns from work. Loads of people are out all day and the bags are still there when they come home. What a feeble excuse!
This is why I really need that job I went for as the hours are 5pm - 8pm in the evenings. This would be ideal as I can still get everything done in the house before starting work. If I had a 9-5 this place would slowly become a tip as neither of us would fancy cleaning over the weekends.
I wouldn't mind but this house is very small. Doesn't take long to clean.
I guess the telly is his main priority...and eating cheese!
@med889 (5941)
•
7 Jun 10
Men never help, I have similar problems too and when once I left him to stay with my mother for some days, he came to see me after one day telling me that he does not like the house without me but I know what he was saying, he does not do anything to help me in the cleaning nor the households nor the food too, so it was a very good lesson for me to understand that we both work and we should be helping each other at home too.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
7 Jun 10
Usually my hubby does help me but when I'm away he goes back into "bachelor mode" and doesn't realise what impact that has on me once I'm home again. I can tell he's not done much washing as in clothes washing. I've already done two loads and I haven't got rid of it all.
@sulsisels (1685)
• United States
7 Jun 10
I Do, I DO!!! In fact I was just spouting off to another MyLotter about how sick and tired I am of getting no help with anything and being totally taken for granted. I'm tired of selfish men. I'm tired of my situation and have made the decision to move on in the very near future..I would rather live alone with my dogs. It wouldn't be much different than it is now anyway. He dosen't talk, he has nothing in common with me nor is he interested in anything that I am and I'm real sick of watching him sleep, eat and watch tv all day on the weekends. He never takes me out or gives me a break from the upkeep of the house. He won't even walk the dogs..I'm done, I'm out of here in a very short while and I will never, ever, live with a man again..Not unless I find Prince Charming and the last I heard, he was living in a castle in England so it dosen't look good!!! Hang in there Janey. You are not alone..believe that..J
@GardenGerty (160721)
• United States
7 Jun 10
I do not want to live alone, but if something were to happen to this husband, I would probably not re marry. I hope nothing bad happens to him, though.
@elvieb02 (695)
• Philippines
7 Jun 10
hi,
i suggest that if you don't get that job, you stay with your mom for a month or so, in this way, he will realize your worth. sometimes it needs someone to get out from the situation so that the solution will come itself. i wish you good luck and be strong. love yourself before you love others.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
7 Jun 10
The thing is, I have been away for two weeks (had to come back a couple of times) but most of the time I was at Mum's when the sun shone and the air was clear.
I'm now back in a dreary city and it's like I've never been away. John wasn't exactly all over me like a rash but to be fair I wasn't like that with him either.
You are right, I really do need to start loving myself. At the moment I am nowhere near that feeling. Because of health issues my mental strength isn't as prominent as it once was. It's actually a strain thinking in a positive way which doesn't help anybody does it?
@dweebs_8000_j (885)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
Maybe, You need to talk to each other, and discuss what do you feel....
@Christy23 (98)
• United States
7 Jun 10
How long have you been married and do you have children if you don't mind me asking? Some people are just set in their ways and they are not going to change. You have to take the good with the bad sometimes. Unless the bad outways the good because no marriage is perfect. I would suggest marriage counseling. Do you think he would go for you? Have you really let him know how serious you are about your feelings? Fortunately my husband helps me around the house all the time. He has always been that way because his mother and father raised him to be self reliant. The lack of intimacy can surely cause problems for you as well. I will be married 9 years tommmorrow and my husband can be a "Know it all" and drive me crazy sometimes but I could not imagine my life without him. I hope things get better for you.
