Are you good at making friends and influence people?
By vijayanths
@vijayanths (7877)
India
June 8, 2010 11:42am CST
Some people are very good at this whereas some are very poor in making friends. I read Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people". He gives a lot of practical techniques in his book.
Some points:
Say sorry when you commit a mistake
Say thanks when some one helps you
Remember and call people by names
never scold any one in the presence of others even if they do something wrong.
appreciate people when they do something good
never criticize any one in the presence of others.(you can tease without hurting)I called someone here as sweet
but they did not scold me..
remember birthdays and important occasions of dear ones
Gift them frequently
Never argue, it is not going to help you at all.
Never hurt any one with your words or actions
I tried my best to follow these tips and I truly earned a lot of friends.
I think these tips will be useful for any one...
but they did not scold me..
remember birthdays and important occasions of dear ones
Gift them frequently
Never argue, it is not going to help you at all.
Never hurt any one with your words or actions
I tried my best to follow these tips and I truly earned a lot of friends.
I think these tips will be useful for any one...2 people like this
13 responses
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
hello dear bhai,
Even before i read this post,(since i don't know the book you're referring too)i am already doing some tips that you've written.
I always say sorry when i did something wrong,and i always remember friends birthdays.
I can say i make good friends easily,and i love making friends with people by all ages and walks of life.
Hmnn...now it's time for friendship nah dear bhai?....i am waiting for the conclusion of your previous posts.
I thought you're gonna propose nan unnai kaathalikkiraen to somebody the next time you post a discussion.(hahaha..just kidding dear bhai)
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
8 Jun 10
Oh that is nice Jotomy, you are closely following Mylot discussions. I was a bit worried after posting that emoticon but she did not scold me, I think I did not hurt her.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
8 Jun 10
Yes all are common methods. Some people use them naturally. Still I must say that helped me a lot in my life. It might help others as well.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
@ wizzy,
precisely,some methods were practiced by decent people for courtesy,but the real essence is not enveloped within.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
11 Jun 10
hi saphie, looks like you really wanted to influence vannie and me.
@tomitomi (5429)
• Singapore
8 Jun 10
Hi vijayanths!
Thanks for the topic!
The tips are really wonderful and easy to follow. And they make sense as well. We can actually relate each of them to different times in our lives. Simple though but facing the truth in them can be a real revelation to what wrong we have done and what we should have done instead. It is little wonder that Carnegie has long been a friend to many the world over.
There is another book entitled 'Making Friends' by Andrew Mathews, illustrated and in paperback. Equally simple to read with lots of funny illustrations.
Reading both is simply worthwhile.
The tips are really wonderful and easy to follow. And they make sense as well. We can actually relate each of them to different times in our lives. Simple though but facing the truth in them can be a real revelation to what wrong we have done and what we should have done instead. It is little wonder that Carnegie has long been a friend to many the world over.
There is another book entitled 'Making Friends' by Andrew Mathews, illustrated and in paperback. Equally simple to read with lots of funny illustrations.
Reading both is simply worthwhile.@vijayanths (7877)
• India
8 Jun 10
hi tomitomi, nice to note you have read him already. Thanks for the information on "Making friends". Yes, I would love to read it.
@rushikm (93)
• India
8 Jun 10
I have also many friend because i am cool guy. always I speak too respectfully with all my friends.but i don't remember birthday etc. But still i got friends same as me means honest, friendly, respected. Well, if you want to make friends, you need to take care your speech and always give respected even if why he/she is your enemy.
Happy Friends.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
8 Jun 10
Yes, some people know these things naturally. You need not apply all techniques. If you apply a few you will get reasonable number of friends.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
9 Jun 10
Hi rushikm: I think that when you are a cool person that make people smile you can be sure you'll have friends. For example I appreciate people that makes me smile and that have a nice sense of humor because I don't have one. Lol. XD. I think that I need this complement in my life so I feel a friendship attraction to those people that are outgoing. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day.
ALVARO.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
11 Jun 10
I do not know if I am good in making friends but I am friendly and very accomodating when not busy. I like to smile to people. I believe I am good in making acquiantance. Sometimes i do forget the names and I find it rude to forget some names so I believe I will change that. About influencing, oh yeah, truly I am good in influencing some of my dear ones to do good. Some find boring if people will always do good but in me I find nothing bad with it, not boring but can gain self confidence and doing good makes me happy.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
11 Jun 10
I think you make friends with selected people and love them truly. No wonder you can influence them grecy.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Jun 10
hi vijayanths yes its a great book and it has helped me specially
these past months. I have made a lot of mylot friends here and
after reading all thos points I find I do practice most of them
and I know its helped me to be more comfortable meeting strangers
and conversing as I am quite shy.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
8 Jun 10
Hatley, even before reading the book I had a lot of friends. But after reading this book I learned not to hurt others, not to criticize in front of others, aviod arguments and so on.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
11 Jun 10
hi, 1hopefuman, thank you very much for summarizing the points.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
9 Jun 10
Throughout my life I have been lucky enough to make friends easily. Not all friend choices are good ones, but you have to try. Life is too short to be alone. As for influencing people, I would like to think I have done my fair share of that in a positive way.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
11 Jun 10
That is a gift to you sender to make many friends easily. Friends can have a great impact on our lives.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
9 Jun 10
Hi vijayanths: I have read this book before and I found it really interesting. It gives me some good advices about how do I have to act in front of people. I think that this is a gift, a gift of how to seduce people and get some friends. I like when he says that the word that a person love the most it's his/ her own name. I find this book very useful and I think it has help me a lot. Thanks for sharing with us your feelings on this book. Have a nice day.
ALVARO.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
11 Jun 10
Yes starsailor I loved that book very much and found it very useful. The name factor really can make a lot of difference.
@Topleggedskater (32)
• United States
8 Jun 10
Making friends: Decent
Influencing people: Chuck Norris-like.
It is very easy to influence somebody as long as there is a reward for them.
Also, I'm pretty built with my muscles (Okay, I'm lying. But I am sexy ;) ). Kidding.
The best way to make friends is to always make conversation. Communication is always important.
"Never Argue"? Arguing is very important in a healthy relationship. If you don't, you're basically just adhering to whatever they want. "Hey, honey let's rob a bank". "Sure, sugar-dumpling *Creep smile*".
Remembering birthdays are always important too, because it always makes your friend great and important. If you don't, then they think that you don't care about them.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
11 Jun 10
hi, Topleggedskater I do agree that communication can helps lot in making friends. I also agree that argument can be useful in a healthy relationship. But unfortunately many of us can't bear other person finding faults in us and we are reluctant to accept our mistakes even when we find that we are wrong during the arguments.
@vikas_711 (106)
• India
9 Jun 10
I dont think so making good friends is a mind game or some sort of planning, in which some are good and some are bad. Its all natural. If two like each others behaviour or etc things. They become close and get friends. Its not that easy by reading books, you should do this, you should do that....
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
11 Jun 10
hi, vikas it comes so naturally to some exceptionally great people. May be you are one among them. But that book did help me a lot, I must say.thanks
