How can I deal with insults from my Sister?
By leighann675
@leighann675 (78)
June 8, 2010 7:05pm CST
My Sister is 5 years younger than me, but is tall and intimidating. She flips very quickly and is always very erratic in her nature.
I am conscious of my weight and this is the first thing she shouts at me when she is annoyed with me and this happens SEVERAL times a day!!
I often try to ignore her but it gets to me. Or I try and say something mature but it has no effect!
I wish there were some retorts that would shut her up forever!
Or advice for stopping myself from believing that what she says is true!
Please help me =)
4 people like this
11 responses
@elrvld (120)
• Argentina
9 Jun 10
what I've ever done with my young sister was trying to do the things in the way she thought they should be done, and then I show her hers mistakes, maybe she's young to understand what you're trying to say to her, so you have to find a way to let her know her mistakes, in a friendly way, so, try to do what I said, let her do what she wants and in the way she wants, even if you think it's not right, and then show her hers mistakes!
Tell me if this is useful for you!
Regards!
3 people like this
@mbtshoes2010 (22)
• China
9 Jun 10
yeah.i agree with you.finding a friendly way to let the sister know her mistakes is very important.
@wiggles18 (2506)
• Canada
9 Jun 10
Word choice makes a huge difference when dealing with angry people. Try not to use the word "why" if you are questioning her. Instead say it in a more direct form. For example, say "is it because of etc etc" instead of "why are you etc". The word "why" just makes it seem like you are making assumptions about the person, and not letting them explain themselves easily. "why are you angry" instead of "are you angry" is much worse sounding and will get a person riled up. I can't remember where I read this from, but it makes sense.
3 people like this
@nancyrowina (3850)
•
9 Jun 10
People who bully others about their appearence are often insecure about their own, she probably self cconcience about her height that's why she insults your weight. if you bear that in mind it will be easier to ignore her insults, but if she's doing it all the time that must be easier said than done. My advice would be not to answer her back while she is angry but try and talk to her when she's calm and explain it's hurts you when she talks about your weight, and how would she like it if you insulted her about her height? that might make her thinkabout hwat she's doing.
@dierdre (2207)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
Im the type of person that usually retorts back when a family member insults me. So try to look for her flaws and rub it in her face. Or, if youre not cool with that idea, i suggest not minding her when she starts to call you names. Dont look at her, avoid her when she comes near you, its like shes a ghost. Lets see if she will still call you names eventhough she starts looking stupid talking to herself.
2 people like this
@StephanieAnnC (4274)
• United States
9 Jun 10
I agree about the ghost part. My younger sister likes to insult me as well and it works if I ignore her. If I fight back however, her anger escalates as so does mine. I'm the kind of person who will retort back as well. It's a bad habit when both my sister and I are stubborn. I'm nineteen years old and to this day, I still argue with her. It's terrible.It's gotten better, but my parents are still so sick of the attitude my sister gives me and how we both still fight They've pretty much given up on trying to resolve it. 
1 person likes this
@dierdre (2207)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
To StephanieAnnC and leighann675, did you girls already consider sitting them down and having a heart-to-heart talk? Like try to see the root cause of the problem and as to what is the thing that annoys the other person, for her to resort to name calling? If your sister is still unwilling to cooperate and stop then you just have to bear her presence. Just try to avoid your sister as much as possible to avoid unpleasant situations. Im also having a feud with my 33 year old brother but ours is different. He ruins my stuff. I tried to talk to him to stop, but he doesnt want to. Lets just say that he damages ALL my stuff, it's that bad that i should not leave my cellphone exposed coz he pierces the keypad with a knife, scratches the screen, dents its body, etc. My dad and aunt have pretty much given up on us, just like your parents. Its such a shame that the other person is unwilling to act mature and we end up being punished and our supposed to be 'normal' day ruined by it.
1 person likes this
@leighann675 (78)
•
9 Jun 10
I think I will continue with the ghost thing bu try harder. And whilst I'm being quiet I can think of retorts to say, just in case it gets too much!
I'm nineteen too and I am in the same position as you! It's difficult.
1 person likes this
@myswirlyagelessmind (379)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
you can ask her why she's inclined to make you feel bad about yourself. don't suffer in silence because she may get the idea that you're fine with the way she's treating you. one thing i learned in my thirty years of existence is that people who enjoy insulting other people are greatly insecure. a person who has enough confidence in herself is never driven to make another feel bad just so she would look good. you can drag your parents into this if your sister just wouldn't listen to reason.
1 person likes this
@leighann675 (78)
•
9 Jun 10
Me and my Mum have both just agreed that she is a massively insecure person, which helps me make some sense of her attitude. thanks so much for your insight.
1 person likes this
@kengoshika (186)
• Japan
9 Jun 10
The trick is to not look interested. Same if your getting annoying emails. If you just ignore the fact that she is calling you something and don't seem to be annoyed she'll probably stop.
1 person likes this
@dierdre (2207)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
Nice point, although some species will do something more drastic in order for you to finally pay attention to them, thats what my dad does sometimes, and when you finally acknowledge what he is doing with a confrontational retort, thats the only time that he will stop.
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6340)
• India
9 Jun 10
it seems that you both are in your teens and getting emotional fight is quite natural.And some people are aggressive in nature and want to command others despite their age difference.So,if you cannot bear her anymore, try to complain to your parents and discipline her.
1 person likes this
@Cutie18f (9546)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
Tell her, "Mind your own business, " "I don't care," "Shut up" and when you're saying any of those, use threat, like telling her you don't want to prolong another useless argument with her and that you want to finish it off with a fist fight or any wrestling, whatever suits her fancy. And be sure to be ready for this scene by working out and pumping weights. Subduing her in a physical fight should teach her a lesson.
@jagjit273 (1754)
• India
10 Jun 10
Hummmmmmmmmm.Give her the tsate of her own Medicine.Use Her tallness as weakness/Point that tallness as She Aont get a boyfriend just because of that. and become a little witty.
@dimples99 (49)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
just try to talk your sister,,or just ignore her,,whatever she does don't put in your mind or in a serious way,,just look at the brighter sight..don't be a negative thinker on your health....
being fat is not a criminal thing you're also a human being and must be respected by anyone even your sister,,take your part as her older sister maybe she's confused and insecure,,if i we're you just prove to your sister that your not a loser,i know or we know that you will have a brighter tomorrow,,
don't be so conscious about your standard and of course in your health...
be a positive thinker my friend!!!!
1 person likes this
@leighann675 (78)
•
9 Jun 10
It's not like I'm exactly fat either, I'm just not the skinniest of people. I am constantly trying to lose weight though so she definitely picks up on that.
I think I will try and use her negative energy and use it positively to spur me to do more exercise. That way I can set a good example and when I've lost a stone or two the "fat" insults won't even get to me!!
1 person likes this
@DoctorDidi (7018)
• India
27 Jan 11
Don't go for any arguement, just ignore her as you are doing. She will soon get exhausted and cool down.
