did you spank your children when they were young
By julyhui
@julyhui (47)
China
June 10, 2010 12:20am CST
hello ,my friends ,the topic is just the problem that troubled
I have a samll baby,her name is june.june is a lovely girl,and she is three years old.she is so sweet and so clever that I love her very much.but sometimes she is also very mischievous.she likes to jump on the bed,I don't mind it,but sometimes she jumps and so careless that she falls down on the floor,it always hurts her.I tell her not to jump ,or take careful,but still she likes to jump ,and still she falls down on the floor,and still hurts.it really makes my heart ache to see she crying.and I tell her again not to jump on the bed."no!"she said.heard what she said,that I can't help to spank her,I said to her:"baby ,I don't want to beat you,but I don't want you fall down from the bed and hurt yourself again!"
she cried ,and she said to me:"mum,don't beat me,or I will hate you!"I was so shocked ,that I noticed I hurt her self-respect.but sometimes I just want to protect her ,I was filled with contradictions. and I have saw a sentence:"good parents sometimes have to spank their children, to teach them right from wrong."
I don't know if it right or wrong to spank my baby.
did you spank your children when they were young?and did you agree with the sentence?
10 responses
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
10 Jun 10
I was spanked as a child. My dad would just get frustrated. With that in mind, I don't think it's a great idea, but I wasn't traumatized by it either.
I helped my older sister raise her 4 kids and once in a while I too slipped and spanked a one of them occasionally. Honestly the spanking didn't do much good anyway. Her eldest son would laugh when he got spanked just to upset us.
Anyway, for the most part we tried just talking to the kids. You get down on their level so you're face to face and just talk about it. I like to ask "do you know why you're in trouble?" To see if they really understand what the problem is. When that doesn't work, we had to do time outs and the taking away of favorite toys for a while. These methods often worked. But oh man her eldest son was a pain in the butt no matter what and so his mom spanked him a lot...
@kedralynn (980)
• United States
12 Jun 10
Our parents weren't perfect and neither are we. As long as we try our hardest to be better, then it will be ok. And I'm sure your child will grow up to forgive you for the spankings. I know I forgave my father for beating me with the belt. He just didn't know what else to do back then.
@julyhui (47)
• China
12 Jun 10
hello kedralynn,thanks for nice replying,I am sympthtic visage with you.I was spanked as a child too,and I told myself if I had a baby ,I will never beat her/him,I will just tell what is wrong or right,but now ,I spanked my baby about several times.and I am very regret of it.I think I need have patience with baby,and I will never spank her.
@nonersays (3335)
• United States
10 Jun 10
There is a big, huge GIGANTIC difference in beating your child and spanking you child.
My own son is only 7 months old, so he's not old enough to be spanked yet. But when he is old enough, if he continue to do something I told him not to do I will spank him. A couple of quick fanny whacks with my hand is a spanking.
I do not believe in the use of belts, paddles, switches or other objects to hit a child with. I do not believe in slapping a child in the face or anywhere on his/her body other than the backside. I do not bleive in spaking children other than my own unless given specific permission by their parents.
But do I think you are wrong to spank your baby? No.
@julyhui (47)
• China
14 Jun 10
hello nonersays,thanks for nice replying.your baby is only 7 months old,and he will grow up,and I think you are a good mum.that you can teach him in a right way.
wish you and your baby happy everyday!
baby is the most lovely thing in my eyes.and I think I will never spank them again.
@coolchai (753)
• Philippines
10 Jun 10
i agree with the other comment, since i really do not believe you need to spank children to implement discipline though i am guilty since i do not have patience most of the time and i usually spank my 8 year old now and 5 year old since i just dont have patience but when i do have patience i just talk to them because i know they are very intelligent individuals.
@med889 (5941)
•
10 Jun 10
Children are not always right and we have to understand this very well, if she is saying that she will hate you when you will beat her, so does it mean that you should never say or do something no matter what kind of mischiefs she does? You should explain to her that this is not a deal and if she is being naughty then as a mother you have the right to spank her, she is small so you can but when she grows younger she will not even listen to you. It is better to explain to children when they are small.
@julyhui (47)
• China
12 Jun 10
hello med889,thanks for nice replying,I think you give a good way to slove the problem.I think to beat children is not a good way,but perhaps it's a way to provent the children do someting wrong.I think it just as your words:"It's better to explain to children when they are samll".thanks again for good sharing.
@macdingolinger (10386)
• United States
10 Jun 10
I did spank my kids when they were young. But I did not beat them. When they were real little and kept reaching for something they shouldn't have i would spat their little hand. It was a gentle whap! But they soon learned what no meant. Then while they were little there were times I spanked them. It was only a couple of swats on the behind and with much explanation as to why what they did was unacceptable.this was only when simnple talking didn't work!
@yahwehmyredeemer (45)
• India
10 Jun 10
yes i did spank them and now they do watever i say to them ,,and they are obedient to me.....
@julyhui (47)
• China
12 Jun 10
hello yahwehmaredeemer,I think maybe we spank them when they are too noughty ,but I think to spank them is just a mathod not the aim.the paimery aim of spank sometimes just want to teach them ,let them remember the right or wrong.if they were little,maybe we just to tell them much about why we fobbide them not to do something.
@JOIEMARVIC (2335)
• Philippines
10 Jun 10
I am still single and I don't heve kids yet. But I have a 3 year old niece which at her young age is so curious about things and is very naughty. I hate being spanked when I was young so whenever I need to discipline my niece I really try hard to talk to her and make her understand that what she did was wrong ans that she should not do the same mistake over and over again. I also plan to implement this kind of discipline to my child in the future. Diplomacy and communication is much more better than spanking.
@eileenleyva (27560)
• Philippines
10 Jun 10
It's in Proverbs. You can spank the child if it needs be. Discipline the child while he is young and forever he will remember it. Use your motherly instinct when to use the rod.
Beating though is another act. We don't want child battery, do we?
@adeena2000 (845)
• Philippines
11 Jun 10
I am still single but I have 10 nieces and nephews who have different attitude and character. Some are mischievous and tend to lie.
I beat them sometimes if it is too much, I gain their respect, that is why they remember what I said. They are careful not to do it again as long as they know it is bad.
Parents have different ways of disciplining children.
They should be teach what is right and wrong because while they are still young so when they grow up they can manage themselves already with discernment.
As the bible says in Proverbs that we train up the child in the way they should go so when they grow up they will not depart from it.
That is why children that is well disciplined from home since they were still young are the one shown good characteristic in their field of work and other areas in their life.
@janicekristy (12)
• United States
11 Jun 10
Hello, and yes I did spank my son when he was a young toddler till about the age of three. But I got so tired of all the crying, slobbing, running, and prolonged period of pouting, and the fact that I was hurting my hands in the spanking process, stopped spanking all together. It was a big headache and I just didn't wanna do it anymore.
I just found other alternatives to punishment such as time out, taking away privileges and not allowing friends over, and the best part is that my hands don't hurt anymore.
